Chapter 24 - Story 72-76 (2/2)
“I’m at home.”
“You’re heartless…” Tang Yanzhi joked, “I’ve called you many times, but you didn’t answer.”
“Hmm…” Xu Chi said clearly. “I’ve switched my phone to airplane mode. So I didn’t receive your audio call from Wechat.”
“Are you free now?”
“What’s up?”
“I am downstairs of your house.”
【75.]
As soon as Xu Chi went downstairs, he saw Tang Yanzhi.
Xu Chi handed him a cup of hot milk tea and asked, “What are you doing here?”
Tang Yanzhi bowed his head and looked Xu Chi up and down carefully. After making sure Xu Chi was fine, he took over the cup of milk tea and said, “You haven’t updated stories for several days. As your No.1 fan, I have no choice but to come here and push you to update stories in person.”
The cold wind blew up the fallen leaves on the ground. Under the dim streetlight, Xu Chi looked up at the person in front of him. With long eyebrows, Tang Yanzhi was always gentle, tolerant, and standing as straightly as a tree.
Xu Chi put his hand into his coat pocket, looking into the concerning eyes of Tang Yanzhi, and sighed, “Tang Yanzhi…”
“I don’t want to write stories anymore.”
The wind was blowing stronger. The sound of rustling branches and leaves reached his ears. When Tang Yanzhi looked away, it seemed he could see the frost of the grass beside his feet.
“Why?”
“Several days ago, I read a story named “A Harbor At Night”, which was written by Scottish Fold. I don’t know if you have read it before.” Xu Chi，with his dimples showed now and then, stomped on the ground. His breath steamed in the air. “I have to admit there is a big gap between me and the legendary writer.”
“Both of us are heartbreaking writers. However, no matter it’s the writing, the structure, or the development of the plot, his story is far superior to mine. As what fans say, I don’t even deserve to compare with him.”
“I’ve been writing for three years, and it’s about 1 million words. However, I have less than 50 fans on Weibo, about half of them are fake followers. Relying on being presented on the home page of X website, Missing You finally managed to be subscribed by more than 200 readers. My two fans and you are always comforting me that I just need a way to make it big. So I’ve been waiting for it.”
“But I’ve been waiting for three years! It should be my turn now, right? But no. I’ve read my stories again over the last few days. It seems others are writing better and better. While, I am going in the opposite direction.” “I don’t know if you have such a habit— not read others’ stories in the process of writing in case being affected by them or comparing their stories with mine. But I don’t regret reading this story, which made me know the gap between me and the others.”
“I’m envious, envious of his writing and great talent. Meanwhile, I’m also jealous of him…” Xu Chi smiled reluctantly, “I couldn’t catch up with that level my whole life.”
“The readers have good judgement. Do you know why I’m not popular?” Xu Chi looked at Tang Yanzhi who kept silent and listened to him carefully, and continued, “Because I don’t deserve it.”
“Look. As a writer who doesn’t have good writing but is so eager to be popular, I won’t be loved by the readers.”
“Tang Yanzhi.” Xu Chi called his name.
Tang Yan bowed his head and saw Xu Chi’s watery eyes, which were dark and bright, like the milky way reflected on the sea.
“I’m not as good as you said. I don’t want to struggle any more. I failed.”
【76.]
Suddenly, the cold wind seemed to rest. The cup of milk tea in the hand of Tang Yanzhi had already become lukewarm. At this moment, he finally said, “Is that what you’ve been wondering about for three days?”
“Well, I think so. I’ll finish Missing You. After it, I’ll never write any other story.”
“It’s not the first time I’ve had such feelings. But I used to cheer myself up and say that maybe I will be popular if I stick to it a bit more. However, I can’t lie to myself this time.” Xu Chi said, looking at their two long shadows under the light. “I can’t fool myself all the time.”
Then, Xu Chi made a long sigh of relief. “Our character seems to have suddenly changed…” He pointed to himself, then pointed to the silent person in front of him. “You used to be the one who spoke a lot, while I used to be the person comforted by you.”
Tang Yanzhi opened the cup lid and took a sip. It was not as sweet as he thought, which was a bit bitter. After swallowing down, he finally felt some sweetness.
“Does it taste good?” Xu Chi approached him and asked.
Tang Yanzhi nodded. “Pretty good.”
Xu Chi smiled, “I made it myself.”
“You must have held it in for a long time.” Tang Yanzhi closed the cup lid and then looked at the person close to him, “These words, you must have held them in for a long time.”
The wind, again, disheveled Xu Chi’s hair. Then the red mole beside his ear was again exposed. Xu Chi pursed his lips, and looked down, with his lashes trembling.
“Well, I have few friends. And I know what people think about me. I am dorky, lukewarm, and away from worldly wisdom.”
“My parents taught me to be independent since I was little. Therefore, I never like to trouble others. Instead, I always prefer to solve all the problems by myself.”
“Especially when I realized my sexual orientation in junior high school, I spoke even less, because I didn’t think someone would understand me. They must treat me like an outsider, and no one will help me solve any problem. So I choose to keep silent.”
“And I’m really glad to meet you,” Xu Chi still bowed his head and spoke in a light tone. “You could tolerate my sexual orientation and even have the same interests with me. You could comfort and encourage me. You could understand what I said even if others don’t.”
Tang Yanzhi smiled lightly. Then he raised his hand to ruffled Xu Chi’s hair with force, which was difficult to be ignored.
“It’s a pity that I can’t be your first fan; but I’m glad I’ll never be your last one.”
“In the future, you can talk with me if you are happy or lack inspiration. And you can talk with me about the good or bad weather and so on. Above all, I could always understand.”
Xu Chi slowly gave him a smile. “The reason why I hold it in all the time is I’d like to save up my thoughts for more than twenty years and tell all of them to that right person when I met him.”
“Tang Yanzhi…” Xu Chi slowly looked up. At that moment, Tang Yanzhi seemed to hear the sound of falling frost.
“I like you, not that kind of feelings between friends. I mean I’d like to hug you, kiss you, and tell you all of my thoughts, including the past and the future.”