Chapter 2 - Did you get ‘done’ silly last night? (1/2)
06
The next day, Lin Ran woke up and found out that the Founder is not beside him, so he happily stretched out and planned to continue his sleep. But then, the Founder suddenly pushed the door open and entered the room. A head of flowing long hair was tied up, and a thin layer of sweat could be seen on his face. He was holding a sword in his hand.
Lin Ran yawned : “Mornin.”
Founder glanced at him : “Lazy.”
Lin Ran : “Ah?”
Founder : I have already done my sword practice for half a sichen (1 hour1).
Lin Ran absentmindedly replied : “You are amazing.”
The Founder sincerely said : “一日之计在于晨/Early morning is the golden time of the day. Since you are awake, you should get up to study and practice martial arts. Don’t waste that good time of the day.”
Lin Ran was stunned for a moment before nodding like a chick pecking at rice : “I was wrong.”
This Founder of an Evil Cult who just went through bridal night2 yesterday, gets up early to practice sword. Then he scolded his delicate jadelike little 18th concubine just because he woke up late. This is too gerddamned weird.
It must be because he(F) couldn’t get ‘up’. Men who can’t get ‘up’ are more prone to madness. Long term desire couldn’t be vented out, so one could only wake up early to practice sword. Plus they would get envy, jealous and hatred when they saw that other people could get ‘up’. Because it’s inconvenient to say it out, they could only be petty and scold other people.
As Lin Ran keep thinking about it, he couldn’t help but sympathetically looked at the Founder. So young, but already wasted.
The Founder thoughtfully looked at Lin Ran, his expression suddenly darkened : “What are you thinking?”
Lin Ran seriously replied : “I am thinking that I should go to bed early and get up early.”
The Founder lightly smiled : “Change your clothes, then accompany me to the altar for a talk.”
07
When Lin Ran stepped out to the altar, he was completely stunned.
The design for this Evil Cult’s altar was an extreme dark style. At first glance, one could imagine it was designed by a chuunibyou3 young man who dreams to destroy the world all day long. The main color is black, all black. The wall was filled with red-painted word ‘Kill’. Strings of skulls from unknown animal were hung on the ceiling. A big plague was placed just above the Founder’s throne, with the word ‘我欲成魔/I desire to become demon’, very sick. It really let one feel like dragging the designer out and beat the crap out of him.
As the owner of this Evil Cult’s altar, His Royal Highness The Founder, sat on an exaggerating little prince’s throne, and started preaching to all his followers around thousands of people, very early in the morning…
Preaching about The Analects of Confucius.
The Founder sat upright and still on the throne : “Do not do to others what you do not wish others to do to you, do you understand?”
The followers expressed that they don’t understand.
The Founder patiently and diligently explained : “The meaning of this sentence is to say, the things that you don’t want to happen on yourself, don’t force it on others. You are not willing to get beaten, similarly other people is unwilling to get beaten as well. So, don’t go out and kill all day long, understand?”
The followers expressed that they will follow the Founder’s instruction. Long live to the Founder and may his good fortunes fill the sky.
The Founder nodded : “Good.”
After the Founder finished preaching, the head of each branch are responsible to count the number of good deeds the followers have done yesterday, then distribute little red flowers accordingly.
[Banana : It’s like a kindergarten reward system – ]
Help grandmother to pick up chicken eggs : 1 flower
Helping lost children to return home : 2 flowers
Rescuing innocent girls from the bully’s house : 3 flowers
Everyone were feeling happy, the atmosphere was very harmonious.
Lin Ran sat beside the Founder, deeply doubting himself if he went to the wrong film set. How is this a Founder of an Evil Cult? This is obviously a Red Cross meeting.
The Founder meaningfully asked : “What are you thinking this time?”
Lin Ran : “Nothing.”
The Founder took a small thing out from his sleeve and handed it to Lin Ran : “I found it in the room this morning, did you dropped it?”
Lin Ran took it over to see what is it.
Liushan Sect’s waist pendant. Shixiong, you idiot.
08
Lin Ran was super calm : “Not mine, never seen it before.”
The Founder nodded : “Oh–”
The two of them entered a moment of scary silence. Lin Ran’s whole body of nerves were strung tight, and his heart has almost jumped to his throat; ready to take action any time.
The Founder suddenly suddenly turned his head to him : “What do you want to eat for breakfast?”
Lin Ran jumped up : “AH AH AH AH AH AH!”
The Founder held his forehead and silently laughed.
Lin Ran asked in disbelief : “… what did you said just now?”
The Founder lightly replied : “What do you want to eat for breakfast?”
Lin Ran’s feeling was heavy, he suspected that Founder is deliberately playing with him. He has no mood to eat anything : “Anything is fine.”
The Founded stood up : “That’s great, because breakfast has already been prepared. Let’s go.”
Lin Ran pitifully keep up : …