Chapter 56 - Volume 4 (2/2)

The problem was about her. I’m not even certain whether I should call her 『Mari』 or whether I should call her 『Miria』.

「……if it’s alright with you, please call me Miria like before. I’m more used to it」

She’d gone ahead and addressed my trouble.

「Compared to the times I’ve been called 『Miria』 up to this point, the times I’ve been called 『Mari』 is honestly way too little that it is not even worth talking about, and…… it feels strange when I’m called by that name」

With her talking badly about herself, I couldn’t make myself say, “Then, I’ll go ahead and call you Miria”.

「……You’re… human, right?」

「I wasn’t made through someone’s hands but born from my mother’s womb. But, up to now, I’ve never once proudly declared 『I’m human』. Don’t you think that humans are people with an abundance of emotions and know how to love someone?」

「……If they have their own thoughts and have a good command of their own words, they are human in my opinion」

「Is that so? I think you’re saying that because you’re kind…… I thought the same when I first stood on the puppet opera stage. As broken as I am, I was still a human, after all. I might die in this place today. If not that, this performance might end in failure due to my lies, I’d thought.……But, the performance had been a success. I think, to the ghost, I looked every bit a puppet, not a human」

「You… believe in the stage ghost?」

「Yes, I do. A lot of people died in the past, performances ended up in failure, and it’s not just that. I, myself, could feel it whenever I stood there. I believe there is……something here. No, it may be better to say someone. If that wasn’t by magic, then it was definitely a ghost」

I wasn’t in the mood to argue here about the presence of a ghost. I had one thing I had to ask.

「So then, while believing that this place was dangerous, believing you’d get killed by the ghost, you still stood on the stage almost every day?」

「It wasn’t that I might get killed. I thought, someday, I want to get killed・・・・・」

I was… speechless.

「I only have one dream now. If I happen to die on that stage, at that exact time, it would mean that the stage ghost recognized me as human. That it recognized me as somebody. No, at that time, it will prove to me that I was able to love that man. Right now, I’m sure my feelings are still a sham… I can do nothing but act well and I still can’t seem to understand my own heart, after all. But unlike a person, I’m sure a ghost will not be deceived by my acting」

With her voice bouncing slightly, she was the epitome of a little girl talking about her hopes.

「……you’re crying for me, I see」

Though she remarked on it, I didn’t realise that tears were dripping down my cheeks. I had been focused on something else.

「……I… deceived you just like all the rest. I’m sorry. I told you I’ll be your friend, pretending to be human――。Even when you found out, you still cried for me. I… never dreamed that I’ll be able to make a friend like that.」

“Then-“, as I attempted to say it, she said.

「Someday, when I die on the stage, I’m sure you will cry for me. But, it’s okay if you cry only a little. At that time, I’ll be extremely satisfied, after all. After you’ve cried a little, please, give me your blessing」

I frantically searched for words to reply.

Not to her mention of death, but a method to prove love. If I could present it to her…

In an opera, characters certainly immortalize their love by dying. But surely there should be a way to prove that love to living people. Otherwise, wouldn’t it be too tragic?

She loved the playwright. She also loved her grandfather. It was evident to me when I heard her story. But, as an outsider, things like my opinions were meaningless here.

As long as she, herself, doesn’t believe it…

As long as she can’t prove to herself that it’s real and not an act…

（……I’m… useless. Right now, I can’t even call out to her. I don’t even know whether it’s right to call her by either of the names…）

At that time, I couldn’t even think of a word to reply to her.