Chapter 38 - Volume 3 (2/2)

Locking me in place on the bed, Wolf’s expression twisted yet again. This time, he grimaced in pain, and as if he was squeezing the words out of his lips, he pleaded with me .

「…please don’t say it. I’m begging you… please don’t make me go insane」

He said it in a tone that made my heart ache.

「No more… being cast aside by you, going insane from jealousy then killing them… making you hate me because of that, making you cry…. Being forsaken by Father… I can’t take it anymore. I don’t want to lose you… I’m begging you…」

「It was just a dream, Wolf」

When I touched his cheeks with the hand that he wasn’t holding on to, Wolf instantly opened his eyes as if startled.

「… that maybe so. But, they weren’t just dreams」

「What do you mean?」

It doesn’t look like Wolf was talking entirely in his sleep.

He may have been shifting back and forth between his dreams and reality that he could no longer tell the difference. For now, at least, he was talking with the closest he had to awareness. As testament to that, his blue-violet eyes were locked into mine.

「When I destroyed everything there… even though it was supposed to be a nightmare, I felt relieved inside the dream. I had no way to change your mind anymore」

「What you want inside a dream doesn’t reflect what you actually want. They’re just nightmares that embody the things you’re frightened of」

「It would’ve been okay if that’s all the nightmares were about」

Wolf’s words were contrary to my expectations.

「What truly frightens me… What these nightmares are showing me… is that I might not be able to stop myself from hurting you for real」

「…eh?」

「Even after I woke up, I kept thinking. After this, you’ll debut into high society. Even if it’s you, once you’re there, you’ll clearly realize enough not to misunderstand what others feel about you. You’re a desirable woman. You can have your pick of other men. Then, when you come to your senses, you’ll end up leaving me. If that’s going to happen, then…」

Wolf’s hands, this time, gently reached out to my neck.

Those blue-violet eyes captured me. That earnest look was an expression that I knew to be Wolf’s. I knew, at this moment, he was himself.

「… I’d rather kill you now」

Surprised as I was, in front of me, as if his own words surprised him, tears rolled and spilled out from those blue-violet eyes.

Was it strange to say that when I heard those words and saw his tears, I felt warmth brimming in my chest?

At this moment, I could no longer talk my way out of thinking about how dear Wolf was to me. Even when he was strong, even when he was weak, even when he was suffering, and even when he was loving someone.

That’s why I smiled at Wolf, in order to relay these feelings as much as I could.

「It’s okay. There’s nothing to be afraid of. After all, there’s now way you’d ever hurt me, Wolf」

Taking the big hands that were merely holding on to my neck, I pressed them against my cheeks.

「I know for sure that Wolf really, reaaally loves me… I do too, I like you, you know. I like you very, very much. I love you. That’s why it’s fine if you act a little spoiled with me」

Overcome with surprise, Wolf didn’t say anything to me, even after a while.

My face rapidly reddened, maybe it was because I was being overly self-conscious, but the words made an echo in my head.

Before I could cry out with a “Anything is fine, just say something!”, Wolf whispered fervently in my ear.

「I love you… I’m not letting go again, so, be prepared」

Just like that, Wolf embraced me, sending me to my wits’ end.

I could hear the palpitating sound of my heart thumping loudly, and I don’t mean the circulation of my blood was getting cut off, it was more of, while late, I finally realized the situation we were in: two people on top of a bed.

Wolf wears his usual getup even when brandishing a sword on the training field, so this was a rare casual wear for him. With his sleeves rolled up, two buttons unfastened from his shirt, I can feel his body heat. That wasn’t all there was, there was also the sound of rustling clothes and his fervent breaths.

Although I’d always thought of them as just 『Wolf’s hands』 up till now, I became keenly aware of their body heat just now. Big hands crawled down my lower back, then his rough skin which had formed from handling swords, touched my skin and gave me goosebumps.

I felt relieved when Wolf parted from me, but then, he buried his head on my neck and kissed it. Surprised and stunned, I ended up shouting.

「Hey – wait! Wolf!?」

Bam!, came Father, making the noise when he opened the door, then my younger brother rushed in and made the exact same frozen expression as my father.

As for Wolf, he fell asleep as if losing consciousness, just like that.