Chapter 1 - Volume 1 (1/2)

Kishikan>.(1) It is a word that means déjà vu.

It is a sensation that a memory has happened before, even though it has never been experienced in reality.

My life was full of Kishikan>. But mine is different from what déjà vu normally is – rather, it felt more like this “never happened before”.

My name is Lycoris Radiata. I just turned 6 years old. I am often told that my way of talking is not like a child. In impressions as well, rather than being called “cute”, the compliment that is usually given to me is “grown up”. Even though in my opinion, “cute” is the universal compliment for a child.

My social position is also remarkable – I was a duke’s daughter.

My mother, who died long before I could make sound judgement, had a lot of portraits that were left of her. Although she was very beautiful, she looked like she would have been a cold woman. My father, who is a duke, constantly travels to foreign countries due to his work. He rarely returns home. However, since there are a lot of servants and tutors at home, I never feel lonely.

Since I am often praised on how good my memory is, I have often thought that it was my special skill. But when I carefully think about my memories like this, a sense of discomfort swells up.

Wrong. Wrong, absolutely wrong – there’s definitely something wrong, my heart would cry out. But “what” that something was, I don’t know.

This unexplainable uncertainty within me, I resolved to consult with a sensible adult.

The person who I chose, a familiar adult who I trusted deeply, was my wet nurse. When I confided to her my troubles with clumsy words, my nanny’s eyes widened her wrinkled eyes and said, “Oh my…”

She was bewildered for a while, and with a stunned expression she replied. “My lady, what you told me is too difficult for me to understand, is a word that I am not accustomed to hearing”

—-Come to think of it…

Where did the word come from? How come I know that word? I thought that was used in writing before, but from which country’s language did this come from?

The result of my resolve ended up with more questions that further increased my confusion.

From then on, I eagerly began reading books. I sought the answers to my question from the wisdom of my ancestors. Aside from eating, sleeping, and studying, I spent nearly all my time reading.

Absorbed with reading a variety of books and having no interest in playing childish games, I was unaware of the divided opinions inside the Duke’s mansion on whether “Our lady is a genius” or whether “Our lady is crazy”.

Around this time, I formed the habit of wrinkling my eyebrows. Exhaustive worry and overworked eyes are most likely the reason.

I don’t like being a six-year-old.

Several years have passed since I started a life of indiscriminate reading. To what was called Kishikan> that brought incomprehensible discomfort, one answer was brought forth.

An unforgettable day happened, just before my tenth birthday.

On this day, I heard about my fiancé from my father.

「Hey… It’s been a while, hasn’t it, my little princess」The teeth grinding greeting came from my father. The duke of Lilia was that kind of person.

「It seems you are well, Father」While giving a greeting unlike that of a child to a parent, I stared at my father’s face motionlessly.

With combed slick back hair that had combined colors of gold and brown, the impression of a baby-face could not be wiped off from his face.

Only having hit thirty years old, with a presence  more like a young nobleman than a duke, the impression that he was my father is weak.

It’s not as if I’m questioning my blood relation to him. It’s just that the time we talk as parent and child is too little.

With majority of the year spent outside the country, on those rare occasions he comes back, however, he’s the type of father that will bring souvenirs without fail. It’s hard to say whether this person thought about his actual daughter or not.

Brightly giving endearing words to his daughter, there wasn’t a chance this father was anywhere reserved.