Part 19 (1/2)
”How many have you done?”
She pointed to a painted chest at the foot of her bed ”A lot”
”It is beautiful Exciting”
He sat down on the bed and finished reading, and then she asked him about what he did Joe permitted himself, for the first time in a year, to consider himself, under the pressure of her interest in him and what he did, an artist He described the hours he had put into his covers, lavishi+ng detail on the flanges and fins of a death-wave generator, distorting and exaggerating his perspectives withup Saet his poses right, painting luscious plumes of fire that, when printed, seemed to burn the slick ink and paper of the cover itself He told her about his experiments with a film vocabulary, his sense of the emotional moment of a panel, and of the infinitely expandable and contractible interstice of ti on Rosa's ence of all the aches and inspirations of those days when his life had revolved around nothing but Art, when snow fell like the opening piano notes of the E horny ree from Nietzsche, and a thick red-streaked dollop of cri Velazquez ry for a piece of rareat hie air of expectancy, or dread, and he stopped ”What is it?”
”Lampedusa,” she said
”What's that? Lampedusa?”
Her eyes widened as she waited, in expectancy or dread She nodded
”You mean the island?”
”Oh!” She threw her arms around his neck, and he fell backward on the bed Moths scattered The sateen coverlet brushed against his cheek like a
”Hey!” said Joe Then she settled heran unintelligible dreambook sentence
”hello? Hey! Joe, you up here?”
Joe sat up ”shi+t”
”Is that your brother?”
”My cousin Sam My partner In here, Sam,” he said
Sammy stuck his head in the door of the bedroom
”Oh, hi,” he said ”Jeez, I' oddly culpable, as if he had somehow betrayed Sammy and must excuse his presence here He held up his repaired hand ”She fixed it”
”That's great, uh, hi Sam Clay”
”Rosa Saks”
”Listen, Joe, I was uh-I was just wondering if you were ready to leave this-excuse me, Miss, I know you live here and all-creepy place”
Joe could see that so had upset Sammy
”What is it?”
”The kitchen ”
”The kitchen?”
”It's black” black”
Rosa laughed ”True,” she said
”I don't know I just-I just want to get hoet about it I'll see you”
He turned and started out In Joe's absence, he had undergone a strange experience He had wandered through the ballroom and a small conservatory behind it and into the lea black tile and the countertops coated with black enamel There were a fair nu to find a place where he could be alone for just a e butler's pantry Here he had co, with the overdeter, their mustaches interlocked in a way that had reminded Sammy, for some reason, of the way his mother used to fit his comb into the bristles of the brush on top of his dresser when he was a kid
Sa for Joe; he felt that he wanted to leave, right away He knew about homosexuality, of course, as an idea, idea, without ever having really connected it to human emotion; certainly never to any emotion of his own It had never occurred to hiht kiss in that way He had assuive it any thought it all, that the whole thing must be a matter of blow jobs in dark alleyways or the foul practices of love-starved British sailors Rut thosethe way people kissed in the or and just a hint of showiness One fellow had caressed the other's cheek without ever having really connected it to human emotion; certainly never to any emotion of his own It had never occurred to hiht kiss in that way He had assuive it any thought it all, that the whole thing must be a matter of blow jobs in dark alleyways or the foul practices of love-starved British sailors Rut thosethe way people kissed in the or and just a hint of showiness One fellow had caressed the other's cheek
Sah the riot of furs and overcoats draped on hooks in the front hall until he located his own He settled his hat on his head and went out He stopped and lingered on the top step His thoughts were disordered and strange to hily jealous; it was like a heavy round stone had lodged in the center of his chest, but he could not have said for sure whether he was jealous of Joe or of Rosa Luxelad for his cousin It was ed to rediscover, a year later, the girl with the miraculous behind Perhaps she would be able, as Sammy had not, to find a way to distract Joe at least a little fro his clock cleaned by every last German in the city of New York He turned and looked back at the doorray jacket who leaned against the front door, sarette What had so rattled Sammy about the scene he had witnessed? What was he afraid of? Why was he running away?
”Forget soed He turned and went back into the house Not entirely sure of what he was doing, he forced hih the ballroo costume, filled with happy and confident people who knehat they wanted and whoroup of people were standing around the stove arguing about the proper way to one, leaving no trace of their presence Had he i? Was such a kiss really possible?
”Is he a fairy?” Rosa was, at thaton her bed, holding hands
Joe was at first shocked by this suggestion, and then suddenly not ”Why would you say that?” he said
She shrugged ”He has the feel,” she said
”Hood boy”
”Are you a good boy?”
”No,” Joe said
He leaned forward to kiss her again They bumped teeth, and it ue was milk and salt, an oyster in his mouth She put her hands on his shoulders, and he could feel her getting ready to push him away, and then after a moment she did
”I'm worried about hio after him”
”He will be fine”
”Joe,” she said
”Oh” She wanted him, he understood, to leave They had taken it as far as she was prepared to go now It was not what he expected fro there was both more and less to her than that ”Okay,” he said ”Yes I-I have work to do, too”
”Good,” Rosa said ”Go work Will you call me?”
”May I?”
”UNiversity 4-3212,” she said ”Here” She got up and went over to her drawing table and scrawled the number on a sheet of paper, then tore it off and handed it to Joe ”Get whoever it is to absolutely proe because they're horribly unreliable around here about that kind of thing Wait a minute” She wrote out another nue because they're horribly unreliable around here about that kind of thing Wait a minute” She wrote out another number ”This is my number at work I work at Life, Life, in the art department And this is my number at the TRA I'm there three afternoons a week and on Saturdays I'll be there tomorrow” in the art department And this is my number at the TRA I'm there three afternoons a week and on Saturdays I'll be there toency I'm a volunteer secretary there It's a s Really it's just me and Mr Hoffht it hiet as many Jewish children out of Europe as the boat can fit”