Chapter 198 - Doesn’t Sound Like A Good Person (1/2)

Qiu Ling hugged Jing Yi back and leaned his forehead against his shoulder.

”I didn't know how to go on after that”, he admitted after a while. ”I hid in the hut for two weeks, not taking even a single step outside. Those two were still lying outside. Sometimes, I thought I heard her scream in the night.”

Jing Yi rubbed Qiu Ling's back and silently pressed a kiss on his hair. ”You were afraid. It's normal. You shouldn't have been alone.”

”Yeah. But there was no one. I didn't know about her family and I honestly didn't want to know. And my father didn't have anyone. The person closest to him had been the one he loved and I couldn't go to him. I had known that person and I had always felt like he was the one who had destroyed our lives. Because of him, we had to leave the capital, leaving everything behind.” He shook his head. His hands on Jing Yi's back were already shaking by now. He clearly remembered.

”When I think back I sometimes wonder if none of that would have happened if we stayed there. She clearly wouldn't have dared to kill him in the capital, would she? Back then, I was still a normal child. I had friends there, something I never found after that day. Ah, I guess I was pretty normal once.”

”You're still normal.”

”Mn …” Qiu Ling closed his eyes and just concentrated on Jing Yi's hand that was continuously stroking his back. If this was Jing He … How would he have reacted?

He turned his head and looked at the person in the blue robes, even though it was just an apparition and not the real one. Considering Jing He's gentle disposition he might have been the same. Showing him so much consideration, trying to calm him down and showing him his love.

”There were some more unpleasant things that happened. It just kept piling up. Until the day I met him.”

Jing Yi's hands stopped for a moment before he continued to caress Qiu Ling's back. ”Then he really is important to you. You must have been happy.”

”I was. I was immensely happy. I hadn't felt so happy … for a long, long time.” Qiu Ling took a shaking breath. Right. How long hadn't he felt that way before he found his Jing He? It was as if he had done something wrong in his last life and was being punished by the heavens now. He had just wanted it to stop but there had been nothing he could do.

”Jing He … It's a little strange. On one hand, he was the same as me. He hadn't experienced any bad things actually but he was unhappy deep down. He felt caged here and most of his time was filled with just as much pretending as I had to do. He smiled at people but when you looked closely enough then you could see that he seldom meant it.”