Chapter 196 - Chapter 196: Chapter One-Hundred and Ninety-Six: History (1/2)
Chapter 196: Chapter One-Hundred and Ninety-Six: History
Translator: Dragon Boat Translation Editor: Dragon Boat Translation
“Why would you think that?” Fang Xi asked, puzzled.
Xiang Yang smiled bitterly and didn’t speak. Fang Xi smiled and said, “Shi Ke only has you in his mind and heart. Why would you still have such thoughts? What’s this talk about ‘deserving or ‘not deserving? Is there a standard for love? You guys are already married, okay? Your in-laws and sisters-in-law all love you, so why are you thinking like that, you lucky woman?!”
“But the better they treat me, the more I feel I don’t deserve him,” Xiang Yang said softly. Fang Xi was stunned. She suddenly realized that Xiang Yang was serious and wasn’t just being humble.
Xiang Yang stated, “Fang Xi, do you know? A person can’t do anything wrong in their life because what they’ve done would leave traces impossible to forget or erase. A stain is a stain! There’s no way to undo or remove it!”
She choked and sobbingly continued, “If one day you meet someone you truly love, then that stain will be magnified infinitely—so big that it makes you afraid. Because you fear that the person you love will find out this stain; you fear that he won’t love you anymore when he finds out.”
Fang Xi didn’t know what had happened to Xiang Yang and didn’t know how to comfort her. Perhaps Xiang Yang had been burdened by the secret for too long, but under the influence of alcohol, she had the urge to get it off her chest.
“My mother passed away when I was very young,” Xiang Yang began. “My tutor became my stepmother. At that time, I was in my rebellious period, and—additionally—my maternal grandmother and her family kept badmouthing my stepmother before me, so I was very resistant to my father marrying my stepmother. After they got married, I started to go against them.”
“I had a boyfriend in middle school, and my grades dropped. Since my grades were too low to get me into a good high school, my father sent me abroad to study. At the time, I thought he was disappointed in me and used the opportunity to abandon me.”
“So when I was overseas, I became even more unruly. I maintained amorous relationships with numerous boys. I didn’t reject the boys, but I never officially confirmed any of them as my boyfriend. I felt a sense of satisfaction when I saw them fighting over me. It was as if, in doing this, I could prove to my father that I was loved and worthy of love. Many men would love me even if he didn’t. ”