Chapter 159： Banban extra 1 (1/2)

I am getting smaller.

Just overnight.

When I was gathering with friends, I once said jokingly that it would be great if I could rejuvenate. I didn't expect this to happen to me.

To be honest, I don't really understand the meaning of getting smaller.

It's better to just make me amnesia.

In this way, all pain can be forgotten.

My mental state is not right, I know.

I have secretly visited a psychiatrist several times without telling them. The doctor’s advice to me is always only one sentence: "Let me go."

He refused to prescribe me medicine.

I once secretly speculated that this doctor didn't want to cure me, but I didn't know why I didn't replace him, so I liked to seek medical treatment. Later I found out that I was wrong.

It's not that he doesn't want to heal me, but that he is powerless.

Only myself can heal me.

As long as I am willing to'look away'.

But how easy is it?

I used to think that I was a lucky person. I was born in a wealthy family. I never felt embarrassed by money. Even if my parents didn't love me, I still have a younger brother.

then……

My brother was lost by me.

We became enemies, in various senses.

In fact, I don't want to, I love him very much, after all, he is my only relatives, not the parents.

And I also know that I did a lot of wrong things, many, many things.

For example, I added two spoonfuls of milk powder when I was learning to make milk for him. I think my brother needs to eat more to grow taller.

Another example is that I can play hard when I help him assemble toys, and finally do not let my brother mess with me.

Because when he comes, the parts I have just assembled will be destroyed. When he was a child, he was really a master of destruction.

He knows nothing except eating, drinking, sleeping, and sabotaging.

Like a black and white dog that I watched on TV, handsome but stupid.

Well, I shouldn't say that about brother.

I think I have to apologize, no matter what, I have to say to him: "I'm sorry."

Sorry, Gu Xiaolan, I haven't been a good sister.

I thought I could take the role of parents and give you enough love, but it turns out I can't.

Because a person who doesn't even love himself, how can he love others?

In other words, I don't know how to love.

You have to apologize.

After that slap, watching my brother crying away from the back, I said to myself.

But I dare not.

What if my brother refuses to forgive me?

The angel in my heart was timid, but the demon bravely encouraged me.

Come on, rush forward, your relationship can't get worse anyway, can it?

No chance.

Lying on the dirty ground, I looked up at the sky dyed red by the sunset, and between my neck were a pair of hands that wanted to kill me.

Facing death.

I have struggled, but my strength is like a mayfly shaking a tree, faint and ridiculous.

I'm going to die.

I'm sorry Gu Xiaolan, I have no chance to tell you the apology that I decided to do.

Hope, you can find someone who truly loves you in the future.

I also hope that the parents can treat you a little bit better after seeing a daughter who has died and you are their only remaining son.

Not much, just a little bit.

At least remember to give the child a little pocket money, right? It feels really uncomfortable to have no money.

I was rescued.

It happened like a romantic drama at eight o'clock.

Yes, wealthy daughters also like to watch this.

Who doesn't have a youth who is ignorant and longing for love?

The young man in clean school uniform stepped on the light, walked slowly in front of me, drove away the bad guys, and saved my life.

With the last sunset, I saw the student card on his chest.

[Fu Heng, Grade Two of High School. ]

It turned out to be the senior of our school.

Fortunately, when I wake up, I must thank others.

No chance.

Sitting on the hospital bed, I depressedly drank the soup carefully cooked by the housekeeper's grandmother, and the black clouds above my head were almost condensed into substance.

Ask why?

Because I missed the college entrance examination.

Someone might ask what does the college entrance examination have to do with me as a high school student?

It's a big relationship, not only because I have to go through it two years later, but also because I can't find him.

My savior.

After all, I don't know who he is, except for his name and information about a high school that he has read together.

I feel that I am broken in love.

Although the mother and mother are single, this does not prevent me from taking this excuse to vent my anger.

Turn grief and anger into appetite.

Of course, before indulging myself in overeating, I have to be a red scarf of justice.

Send the bad guys to prison.

Before entering the court, I was so scared that my feet were trembling. I glanced at the tiled wall that could be used as a mirror, and my face was as white as a ghost.

Countless times, I wanted to escape, but my legs were so soft that I couldn't walk.

I was too scared to face the man who almost killed me. The strangulation on the neck seemed to be still aching, bringing a fatal suffocation.

I don't love

Holding tightly the clothes on his chest, he breathed.

Like a fish out of the water.

Dididi.

The phone rang like the sound of heaven.

I lowered my head, it was the voice from the housekeeper's grandma.

"The young master is already asleep. When will the eldest be back? I will make your favorite peanut dumplings."

Tangyuan, reunion.

Today is not a festival to eat glutinous rice balls, but seeing such words here, I always think it is a hint to me.

The bad guy once threatened me. If I dare to stand up and testify against him, he would definitely retaliate against me.

I don't doubt what he said, after all, the villains who have killed people can't do anything.

Therefore, I need to send him to jail even more.

For nothing else, just because I am a sister, I have to protect my brother.

On the way to escape, I once met Xiaolan. Although I drove him away in time, I am not sure if the murderer saw him.

Based on my superficial understanding of him, he would never let our siblings off easily.

In that case, let me do it first.

The door of justice opened before my eyes, and I took a step in my destiny.

Later, I often wondered, if I didn't take this step at the beginning, would there be less misery in the future?

I will not suffer long-term mental torture. My eldest son will not be exposed to mental problems. In the end, he almost hurt a group of people who love me and I love.

This idea is often rejected by me as soon as it appears.

Because no matter how many times I come back, my answer will not change.

My choice is not wrong!

The cry of the child awakened me, who was lost in memory. I turned my head and saw my husband holding me wet and humorously standing next to the bed, looking at a loss.

It was the first time I saw this expression on his face, it was a little funny.

But when my eyes turned down, I couldn't laugh anymore.

Because, I... bedwetting.

No, no, the bedwetting is the three-year-old Xiao Qingqing. What does it have to do with my Gu Qingqing?

Thinking of this, I can get rid of the embarrassment and slowly comb through the gray feathers on my body.

Yes, I found out long ago.

Not surprised at all.

I became a bird, the rumored dream bird.

It fulfilled my wish.

Always be a carefree kid.

The condition is that part of my soul and most of my memory will be locked in Zhu Mengniao's body forever, watching me doing all kinds of stupid things when I was young.

It’s really better to just give me a bowl of Mengpo soup and forget one

Isn't it fragrant to cut it?

Others can't see me.

Just try this out and you will know it.

Only the little dumpling can see me, maybe because she and I are the same person.

It turns out I was so cute when I was a kid.

Forget it, for your cuteness, a little stupid is not intolerable.

It was the first time that Fu Heng was able to take care of children. After all, he also took care of his two sons.

This proves that I am not a widowed baby.

Shocked, he still cooks!

Wouldn't you want to poison me when I was young?

Face slapped.

Fu Heng cooks, it's... it's actually quite delicious.

Shouldn’t I be shocked that my sense of taste is shared with Xiao Qingqing?

It's not surprising, after all, it's the same soul.

I feel that no matter what happens, it can be explained by this reason.

After I became a bird, did my personality become more lively?

With Xiao Qingqing's curious gaze, the bird patted its little wings on the treetop and bounced twice.

Regardless of him, I am a little bird anyway. No one knows me. I love to play and play. This is a good time to let myself go.

Hey, I can actually fly.

The little guy is going to the mall, of course I have to follow it.

I was already desperate for Fu Heng's straight man aesthetic.

He can really buy more than a dozen of one style of clothes at one go, and wear them every day.

Those who don't know thought he didn't take a bath.

Fortunately, I was witty, and later specially dressed him in couture.

There is only one piece for one style, and you can’t buy duplicates.

My husband still has to dress nicely.

It wasn't for the little fairies outside, but it was pleasing to the eye.

Oh, I forgot.

Fu Heng will not be my husband soon.

I want to divorce.

This idea is not a whim.

It's the result of me having been in marriage for more than 20 years, and after careful consideration.

It's not a terrible plot that I think he doesn't love me, or he cheated on something.

Although he is quite talkative outside, and there is a rumor that he has an illegitimate child, and what is more ridiculous is that I have seen the child and the child's mother, but I believe him as always.

The main reason is that this person's real wife is a job. If he is willing to divorce his "wife", I won't have that much money to spend.

Fu Heng loves me.

I can feel it.

Otherwise, I would not marry him just after he reached the legal marriage age.

We are married after free love, not a commercial marriage rumored to the outside world.

To put it ugly, the Gu family, who was not taken over by his younger brother, could not reach the Fu family's threshold.

I can marry into Fu's family.

One is that Fu Heng loves me, the other is that I am excellent, and the third is that mothers are expensive with children.

The last point is not important.

There is no child Fu Heng loves me.

I firmly believe this, but I still want to divorce him.

There is no other reason, I am tired.

I failed a lot.

This is how I feel, what the outside world thinks of me...maybe the same.

I will not love people, even if I am deeply loved.

This is my original sin.

I can't give the same love to those who love me, so they can't feel my love, and they are dissatisfied with me.

Even if I work hard to express my love.

They are just like me, unable to get the love of their parents, and then resent them.

Ask but not to be □□.

It detonated all the contradictions afterwards.