Chapter 17：Theres no turning back. (1/2)

...

After being silent for quite some time, I finally come up with something.

Alright.

”Jett, you can ask me three questions. It doesn't matter how personal it is; I will answer them truthfully.”

I order another drink. This time I have decided to go with some Japanese whiskey, neat.

”What...? Really??? Are you sure? You better not take it back!” He asks, with the most bewildered expression.

”Yup.” I swirl the glass around, intently looking at the liquid as it starts to resemble a tiny whirlpool.

”I see. I better not waste this chance then.” Jett replies with a seriousness in his tone.

While waiting for him to think of his questions, I grew increasingly nervous, and before I knew it, I've already drunk four glasses of the same, and I'm already ordering my fifth.

Looking concerned, Jett voices out, ”Uhh... shouldn't you slow down on those?”

”I'm fine. I need this. I have a high tolerance, and I haven't even had nearly enough yet.” I tap the side of the glass slowly and get lost in my thoughts.

”... Okay. Well, for my first question...” He inhales and continues, ”... You... still have feelings for me, right? And if you do, how much do you... still, you know...” Jett moves around anxiously in his seat.

...

Of course.

Of course, he'd ask me this.

I grip the sides of the whiskey tumbler tightly. I was already fully expecting that this was most likely going to be his first question.

Throwing my head back, I push the rim of the glass to my lips to down its contents.

...

”Yes... I still do have feelings for you... a lot of them. It didn't matter who I was with; I've never liked them more than I've liked you.”

There. I said it.

This is it.

Whatever happens from now on... there's no turning back.

Feeling some ridiculous amount of fear and anxiety in the pits of my stomach, I order another drink to try and drown it out.

I grit my teeth and brace for the next obvious question.

The answer will probably have a lot of follow-up questions, but I'll treat it as 'one' since he does still need a bit of an explanation... I'm fair and stupid like that sometimes.

I look down, awaiting the next dreaded question.

Jett looks so confused, though it's not like he didn't expect it. My reactions have made it obvious already, but maybe he's shocked about how strong my feelings were and yet...

”Then... why do you keep rejecting me?! I don't get it. You even looked afraid at times... I was starting to wonder if I imagined things!”

...

”Because I don't have the confidence to start anything with you.”

...

”Wait... what?! I mean, it's not like I've been hiding it, but I've been trying hard to get you back. I even got more and more aggressive about it!” It's showing on his face that his mind is in absolute chaos at the moment.

After downing yet another drink, I brace myself to say, ”It's because I think you'd reject me...”

Jett's eyes widen, and he tries hard not to shout, but... ”...WHAT?! Are you crazy??? I don't understand how your mind works! I didn't think you were THIS insecure!...”

He calms down and rationalizes out loud. ”If this was normal insecurity, then I think your reaction would have been different, unless...”

Ugh.

Can I do this...?

Not even drinking this much is doing anything. With the rate I'm going, I might end up getting alcohol poisoning before I even get stupid drunk.