Chapter 102: The Next Morning (1/2)

The next morning, Amane woke up while feeling groggy, and sensed a warmth next to him, which usually did not happen.

It was May, but the mornings were still cold. He instinctively hugged the pile of warmth. Once he clung onto it, he slowly opened his eyes.

And the first thing he saw was the person he had a crush on.

“!?”

He nearly shrieked, but he did not want to wake up the sleeping Mahiru in his clutches, and stopped himself with his little remaining sanity, swallowing back the urge to yell out loud.

He gingerly looked towards the girl in his clutches again, hearing the thumping drum that was his heart.

She was the pretty girl called Mahiru, no two ways about it.

That innocent, harmless, completely relaxed sleeping face was so angelic, sacred looking even.

“Man she’s cute.” he noted as he saw her sleeping with a smile, and was cupping his head in frustration as he was at a loss of what to do. It was a metaphor however, for he was actually embracing her.

…I lost to my desire and used Mahiru as a bolster. There’s no way we can sleep on a single bed though.

Mahiru had thoroughly devastated Amane’s sanity, and he unwittingly used Mahiru as a bolster, and even kissed her on the forehead. There was no way Amane would have made such a decision if he was his usual self.

Mahiru was like a little devil, wearing his sanity down till this point with such doting love. He could not use this as an excuse though, probably.

Mahiru was overly careless to think Amane as a harmless coward, someone she was safe with. Amane lost to his desires. They both shared responsibility. Amane would blame Mahiru, but he had to reflect on his own actions.

He took a deep sigh, and started to think about how he should deal with Mahiru in his clutches.

He did not know when…probably when she was asleep, but Mahiru was rested on his elbow. If he tried to pry her away, she would wake up.

He hesitated over whether he should wake Mahiru when she was sleeping in this state. he wanted to, and nag a few words, but the malicious desire to keep looking crept up on him.

He had a feeling that he had fallen as a degenerate of a man the moment he was never able to discard his desires immediately, which he should have.

“…Nn, mm.”

Early in the morning and Amane realized how he was loyal to his desires, which left him disappointed. Mahiru might have noticed that Amane had woken up, or perhaps she was an early riser to begin with as she slowly twitched her body.

Amane was frozen, unable to move. He was wondering how he should explain this to Mahiru, and certain soft objects were pressing on him as she had just leaned over.

“Nn…kuma-san…”

Mahiru did not let go of Amane, and clung firmly as she reached her hand out, seemingly seeking something.

The lumps between them were contorted by the pressure, and Amane sensed he was at his limit as he pried away from her, hopped off, caught his breath, and slammed his head onto the wall.

He slammed it repeatedly, purging the looming desires from his mind.

“…Fuahh……eh, I…?”

He sensed that Mahiru had woken up behind him, but he chose to ignore as he was busy smashing his head and purging his desires.

“…Amane-kun?”

A vague, sweet voice arose from behind.

Amane turned around to see Mahiru seated up, her head tilted. She looked a little messy as she had just woken up, yet this messy look had an innocent alluring charm which left him unable to look.

In any case, it would be bad if he met her in the eyes. Again Amane slammed his head against the wall.

Dull bangs could be heard as he used too much force, and pain followed. Amane felt it might be an appropriate punishment for himself at this point.

“Good morning…what are you doing?”

“Hitting my head.”

“…Why?”

“I feel ashamed of myself.”

Amane continued to purge his thoughts by killing off his brain cells, and Mahiru seemed to feel confused too. “Nnn…?” She made such a sleepy sound, and wrapped her arms around his waist to stop him, pulling her back.

She was embracing him tightly in this posture, and he really wanted her to stop.

“…Mahiru-san.”

“Yes…?”

“You don’t have any thoughts about both of us being on the same bed?”

Amane groaned, and Mahiru’s thoughts froze for a moment.

After a little moment, she slammed her head into Amane’s back.

It did not hurt, but Amane understood Mahiru’s confusion and embarrassment behind him.

“Eh, er-erm…ugh.”

“Let me make this clear, I didn’t do anything.”

“Nn, nn.”

It was obvious given their situation. Mahiru probably was not physically hurting, and surely would understand.

“…Anyway, can you please move away a bit? Erm, I want to apologize properly. A-and, your chest’s touching, so please don’t cling onto me…”

Amane was pleading away at the end. Mahiru too might have felt it was a bad thing, and hurriedly pulled away.

Once the softness and warmth on his back vanished, Amane momentarily felt it was a pity, and was inevitably ashamed of his own thoughts.

He was angsty due to his own desires, and turned around so as not to show them.

Mahiru was shivering, blushing completely.

She was not looking terrified, just embarrassed, which really left him relieved.

Amane moved away from Mahiru, and got in a seiza before her, his fingers on the floor as he kowtowed in apology.

“Sorry for yesterday.”

Amane felt he should apologize the for the previous.

He positioned himself, got in a dogeza, and sensed Mahiru’s frantic breath near his head.