5 Vampire Humor (1/2)

Ash grinned wildly, still cackling, before addressing the question.

”I have never had anyone ask me that before. So straightforward! Truthfully, I haven't had blood in centuries. Ever since witches developed those imitation blood pills that dissolve in water we haven't had to steal blood at all. It tastes exactly the same; even comes in flavors like A+ and B-.

”I don't imagine your blood would taste very good though. Human blood is best. I had werewolf blood once when I was young and it left a horrible taste in my mouth for days. It tasted the way a wet dog smells. What kind of fairy are you, anyway? I imagine your blood would taste like your element.”

Ruby supposed she shouldn't have been surprised. Witches were always coming up with ways to make things easier for everyone and keep the humans off their tails. They had never gotten over the whole Salem thing and now would do anything to keep all fae's secrets.

Normally they were money-grubbers who made things expensive on purpose but there was a good chance they didn't jack up the prices on blood pills because killing humans and leaving fang marks behind was just asking for the fae to be exposed. They would never stand for that.

”I'm an earth fairy,” she admitted. They were a dime a dozen; telling him that much wouldn't give away the truth about her.

Ash's nose wrinkled in disgust. ”Your blood would probably taste like dirt then. Gross.”

Ruby was oddly offended that he thought she would taste bad. She didn't know why, since it wasn't like she wanted her blood to be sucked. But something about the way he called her gross rankled.

She wasn't gross; his castle was gross! That made him the gross one. So there.

”Well, if you'll excuse me I should probably go rest. I need sleep if I want my wing to recover faster. Which room is mine?” Ruby asked in a somewhat offended tone.

Ash shook his head at her. ”I told you, only one of the rooms here is even habitable right now. It's almost dark anyway; just take mine. We can switch off in the morning. I'm going on a rat hunt for the rest of the night.”

She raised an eyebrow at him but he stood his ground. She ended up shrugging. ”If you insist. Lead the way, Master of the Castle.”

He chuckled slightly at how she addressed him but did as she said. The furniture in this room was horribly outdated as well. There was a red velvet canopy over the bed that was torn like most of the other furniture. But the mattress itself was intact and looked clean enough.

Ruby thanked him and pulled the curtains around the bed, flopping forward onto her stomach and hugging the pillow. This wasn't the most comfortable position in the world but with her wing hurt she couldn't risk rolling over onto it. Stomach sleeping would have to do for now.

She sighed and willed her mind to turn off. It had been such a crazy day that it was hard to make that happen. When she woke up this morning she never would have imagined ending up in a derelict vampire's castle.

She counted sheep until she finally drifted off. She had a lot to do tomorrow so sleep was imperative.

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