313 Kill Your Younger Self (1/2)

Most would have sympathy after hearing him but she felt familiarity. She felt like he could understand her, vividly she had opened several doors of her heart for him. Though her story didn't resemble him in any way she could tell they had a lot in common than they let on.

They were both survivors of damaged deranged guardians and horrible gory upbringings.

”My mother unknowingly fell in depression and with how distant we were, it wasn't surprising I never noticed Until… until she tried to take her own life.” He paused then, as if reliving the memory.

She was jolted from inside after hearing that but no words of consolation left her parted lips. She tightened her arms around him instead, telling him she was there even if she wasn't then.

She would have said she was sorry for him but the fact was she wouldn't want anyone to tell her that and neither would he.

Madam Li wasn't her favorite person but she pitied her after hearing that she was a victim in the perfect sense of the word. In this co-operated peace two most powerful families had pledged, she had paid the most.

They had formed the union to drive out the Lei's from the country and they succeeded in exiling them by joining hands. Although both families were unrestrained in their shows of power too, Lei's were another level of savageness.

For the sake of the Families union, she had slain her dreams when she was barely an adult and the man who was supposed to show her the ends of Vanilla love betrayed and used her.

Being betrayed was one thing but having no out was another. She couldn't comprehend living with a man like that and knowing she could never leave. If it was her, her infidel husband would be reported missing the next day of their wedding!

Feeling her arms tightening around his chest, had him kissing her forehead as he concluded his story, ”Housekeeper Yang found her with her wrist slit in her bed. She went to therapy, we mended things. Then my father died. I was shown the ropes of Underworld all my life so they hardly bothered me.” His monotone pitch scrapped her heart, it must have hurt to be relieved.

Lei Xinyi knew he had skipped the gore, the bloodshed, and deaths or his conquests, and she couldn't be more grateful. It would really open her up.

This is what she had known all her life but it was too much to behold. But that wasn't the only thing he missed!

In actuality, when she had asked about his past, she had wanted to hear about his past relationships. She was burning in curiosity and something malicious at the thought of them and these thoughts were what occupied her mind all the time.

Laying here beside him through the story, she had felt his erection more than once and it displaced her to think that he would groan and hiss every once in a while, even have cold showers several times through the night. It was making her self-conscious.

No, she was not going readily throw herself on him but he looked not interested in her in that way at all! Did he think she was ugly?! She was sure, she wasn't!

She could swear on her life he wasn't a virgin and had been with many women but why wouldn't he want her?! She hadn't stopped him even once, even given hints here and there but still, he would maintain this distance!

It was like he was holding back. Like she wasn't good enough and those women were. Men hardly held back on their desires so what did it mean...

His not having s*x wasn't disturbing but it scalded her heart to think that maybe he was getting it from somewhere else and that's why he didn't want her like that... It agitated and enraged her.

In all his life story not once did he mention a love interest but she was sure there were many... He didn't even talk about his first or how he met and knew that nasty witch Su Qianwei!

She waited for him to continue when he didn't she grew antsy and pulled away from him. Propping up on her elbow she faced him with an accusatory glare, ”In this concise tale of yours why is there no past flame?”

He just smirked and tried to pull her back in his arms. But no matter how tempting cuddling was, she wanted an answer. He had asked her to be his fiancé but only ever kissed her.

She had to know about it all before putting her heart on the line. No matter how she would deny it but it bothered her.