176 Rainy Days To Fall (1/2)

NO, he wasn't morning her, crying for her and nor was he going to feel like his heart was being churned in his chest because you did that only when someone died.

And she wasn't dead!

She told him she would wait for him forever! but she lied about many other things...

But no! She didn't lie about that, he had seen in it in her eyes shimmering like the deep ocean in full moon night.

He still remembered how she had hugged him, how she had smiled at him and called him back to say Goodbye...

But no! It couldn't be a bye for them. He doesn't accept a bye like that!

One time...one more time and he would give her anything that she desires. He would take her wherever she wanted. Just...just one more time!

He was clutching the steering wheel hard and driving in an insane for the second time in the same day for the same woman because she was slipping like sand from his hand...again.

His throat felt like all his words were stuck in his throat and he could feel their hardness and thorny-edges in his throat.

He was trying to look clear at the windshield in the heavy rush hour, but his heart was beating harder and harder as if registering his own protest at the injustice of fate like it never had as he neared the eventful road.

He wasn't going to sob for her, grief for her nor will his heart ache for the hollowness in it because you only did it for someone dead.

And she wasn't dead!

He kept repeating it like a mantra under his breath that it was hard to tell who he was actually trying to assure but no matter how he tried to explain himself the hardly suppressed agony-filed whispers couldn't be ignored.

When he had received the call Jiang Cheng was with him and had tagged along, forcefully. He didn't stop him, he couldn't. Against his better judgement, whatever the man was, he loved his adopted sister Lei Xinyi to bits.

He just couldn't do that to him despite all odds.

Jiang Cheng was on the co-pilot seat with his hands covering his defeated man's expression. There was nowhere the manipulative man who was trying to lose Li Yuan's better judgement in the web of words.

He was just an orphan, lonely, strayed, broken man, that a glue name Lei Xinyi was holding together and now, now she was...

Jiang Cheng rubbed his face harshly to exterminate the existence of the tears that had escaped his eyes, he was holding his face in his hands and muttering, ”...I promised to protect her from the world and I...I couldn't even protect her from herself. I was her only family, even then I couldn't protect her...”

”I didn't deserve her...this world didn't deserve her... My little sister...”

Li Yuan felt his resolves were breaking. Every word of Jiang Cheng was like a sledgehammer on his shield that he had built to protect his sanity.

No he just had her yesterday night... she can't be gone now! She was a liar and a deceitful b*tch but she still wouldn't do that to him! He wouldn't allow it. She can betray him but, no. She can't leave him alone like that!

His eyes were frantically looking at all the possible directions to keep his mind busy to not conjure the possibilities. He remembered her, even if it was just a skin she wore like a snake, but he wanted her.

It felt like the same tragedy of years ago was repeating itself, he was helpless then as a teenage and today he was helpless too when he was the most powerful man in the country.

He speed-drove on the abandoned road till he could see the ash-black burnt forest and he felt like his limbs had left him and subconsciously he slowed the car. He wanted to go to her but it wasn't the place he wanted to find her in.

He had seen scenarios more gruesome and traumatic than this but he couldn't imagine her here, consumed in the wildfire.

His heart was drumming wild tunes. He felt like it was hard to breathe. Jiang Cheng had quietened too but his face was tear-stricken now. His eyes crimson and face pale, like he had lost his soul.

The car took seconds to reach there which felt like an eternity, the place was filled with his people the authorities were standing by the corner not daring to interrupt.

Li Yuan stopped the car but didn't turn the engine off. He should turn back. What he was going to see would drive him insane. He couldn't see her like that.