Chapter 36 (1/2)

Spirited conversation filled the normally peaceful lobby of the Pearson Hotel. A clamor favorably compared against a live orchestra or a marching band echoed off the wooden walls. Chandeliers shook in their mounts, portraits trembled on the walls, and bits of debris rained down from the high ceiling, dislodged by oscillating soundwaves. Passerby flinched on the streets outside as the vibrations reached their ears, the dull bass tones evoking a sort of primal terror in their lizard brains.

A pigeon half a block away fled its nest.

All of these reactions stemmed from the same event. Officer Gregoir Pierre-Louise, a man who had mastered the art of talking in CAPSLOCK, was having a lively conversation with a very confused young man named Daniel Newman.

Dan wasn't entirely sure what they were talking about. About five seconds into their chat, his ears developed a curious ringing noise that only grew louder as time passed. This might have been more alarming had he the mental faculty available to spare a thought for it. Unfortunately, Dan was, to put it mildly, a bit preoccupied.

Gregoir's enthusiasm had that effect on people. It was a bit like a blunderbuss to the face: deafening, unexpected, and lethal. An experienced gossip like Margaret could take such a blow; she was armored by age and experience, tempered through years of nagging and dismissive in-laws. Dan was but a fledgeling caught in a storm. It was as if he faced Grandma Summers once more, held in a vice by sheer charisma. Rather than the pants-shitting terror he felt in front of the older woman, he instead received the absolute sincerity, beaming out from every pore, of the imposing man before him. It held him riveted, enthralled, he felt a rush of energy and excitement. Whatever Gregoir was saying, the man believed it with every atom of his being.

Dan was just having a bit of trouble processing the words.

Mostly because he was well on his way to temporary deafness. Gregoir's volume was not a part of his natural charisma so much as a consequence of the man's own passion. At some point (Dan hoped), Gregoir would likely reign in his voice, but that time was not now.

Thus, the conversation passed in a bit of a blur, as Dan defaulted to the 'smile and nod' tradition of his working days. It was a defensive strategy he had developed to deal with authority figures who had vastly better interpersonal skills.

At some point during the one-sided dialogue, Abby called the hotel to inquire after her wayward friend. Margaret, ever the doting Aunt, spent some time teasing her niece before thoroughly ruining Dan's manly image by describing his glassy-eyed stare. The elderly widow would be spared his wrath for quite some time, as it would take Dan over a week to even recall this event. Most of his focus was firmly occupied by nodding whenever Gregoir stopped speaking. Such was his distraction, that he allowed himself to be led out of the Pearson by a genial, if insistent, blonde giant. They left a bemused Margaret behind, Dan fully on autopilot, gracing her with a smile and a wave.

Long story short, Dan regained his wits in the passenger seat of a squad car as it drove down a winding Austin highway.

Gregoir was speaking. His voice had quieted down to a level appropriate to an open space, like a public park or city street.

”—almost at the precinct. I'm very pleased that you agreed to come along with me today!” he boomed, seemingly unaware that he was inside of a small vehicle.

The ringing in Dan's ear settled to a low but steady thrum. Focus returned to him. Dan took in the passing scenery with no small amount of confusion.

Did a fucking police officer just kidnap him? What the hell happened!?

Swallowing dryly, he asked, ”Where are we?”

Gregoir paused his speech, then replied cheerfully, ”As I just said: We're almost at the precinct.”

”...Why?” Dan clarified slowly.

The hulking blonde glanced over with visible confusion. ”So that we can arrange a ride along, of course! Are you feeling well, Daniel? Or perhaps having second thoughts? You seemed rather enthusiastic about the idea earlier.”

Earlier?

Dan scanned his memories with a frown.

Damn! This loud fellow broke Dan's eardrums and then expected him to hold a lucid conversation? Dan could just vaguely recall agreeing to something like a tour of the police station, but only because Gregoir's voice had the same effect on his brain as a baseball bat.

And why was this lunatic still trying to scout him for the police?

”Having second thoughts is an accurate description,” Dan decided.

”Believe in yourself!” Gregoir bellowed. Dan flinched at the sound, and again as a massive hand enthusiastically slapped him on the back.

”You have the heart of a hero, Daniel!” he continued, making a fist for emphasis. ”There is greatness waiting within us all, we must simply seize it!”

Dan remembered him making a statement to that effect the first time they met. It sounded just as vacuous back then. Dan didn't bother hiding the doubt on his face.

”It is important for those of us who are heroically inclined to find appropriate outlets for our urges!” Gregoir cried emotionally. ”I knew you had these, the moment I saw that security video months ago!”

”No urges here,” Dan denied with a swipe of his hand, thoroughly discomforted by Gregoir's questionable vocabulary.

”Do not deny it!” Gregoir boomed. ”Why else would you have interrupted that robbery, if not for your heroic concern for the lovely Miss Margaret?”

Dan sighed, rubbing his temples with both hands. This was an insane conversation, and only the fact that Gregoir knew where he lived was keeping Dan from teleporting away to escape it.

Well, that and the police badge. Pissing off a cop in any dimension was a bad idea.

So Dan decided to make his case.

”Look, Officer, uh, Pierre-Louise—”