Book 3: Chapter 100 (1/2)

“Are you sure this is how you hunt for genies?” Alice walked alongside Mr. Skelly. They were wandering in a forest with their eyes glued to the treetops. A root caught Alice’s foot, and she tripped, falling onto her face. “This … is more annoying than I thought. We’ve been here for hours.”

“I mean, this is how we did it the first time,” Tafel said, helping Alice up along with Mr. Skelly. “We wandered around an area where genies are supposed to be, and we found one eventually.” She looked behind herself. “Isn’t that right, Vur?”

Vur yawned and nodded. He was sitting on a rock with his legs crossed, his palms resting on his knees. His other arms were retracted into his body. Stella had made him promise not to find any genies because they’d fall in love with her and she didn’t want to deal with that again. So, instead, he was trying to figure out a way to enter his own soul without someone forcing him inside.

Tafel nodded at Alice. “See?”

“Well, if this is how you found genies the first time, then where are they now?” Alice asked, furrowing her brow. “I’m sure you two didn’t take hours to find them last time.”

“That’s…,” Tafel said and scratched her head. “That’s a good question. Actually, they were pretty rare when we were looking too. Should we move onto another area?”

“I found one!” Mary’s voice echoed from the wooded area behind Vur. There were a few stomping sounds, and Mary came into view. Instead of her usual gauntlets and greaves, she was wearing simple leather gloves and boots. Tafel had seen that Grimmy was sleeping when he was supposed to be taking care of the annoying trio, and she didn’t want to wake him, so the group had set off to find genies first. In Mary’s gloved hand, there was a genie, who was held by the waist down, his arms folded and resting against Mary’s finger as if he were at a bar.

“Is it rude?” Tafel asked.

“Your face is the definition of rude!” the genie shouted and shook a fist at Tafel. “Don’t you feel any shame for making people look at something so distasteful in public?”

“I guess that answers that,” Tafel said in a low voice. “You should wish for it to be politer. If you wish for anything else, it’ll twist your wish.”

Mary pursed her lips. “But I spent so long finding it.”

“That’s because your eyes are useless, moron,” the genie said and stuck his tongue out at Mary. “Ack! Don’t squeeze me, you giant oaf! Don’t you know harming a genie will bring you great misfortune? You’re dumb now, but if you kill me, you’ll definitely get even dumber!”

“Mary,” Tafel said. “Just wish for it to be politer.”

“No, don’t do that,” Alice said before Mary could open her mouth. “Hand that genie over here. I’m going to use it to make a wish. If it’s a battle of words, I don’t believe a genie can outwit me. I’ll have you know, being a guild master is all about twisting words around.”

Mary looked at Tafel, but the demon shrugged. The empress walked up to Alice and passed her the genie. Alice tapped on Tafel’s shoulder and held her hand out. “Jar, please.”

Tafel raised an eyebrow but reached into a portal and handed a jar filled with jam to Alice. The guild master opened it with one hand and stuffed the genie inside. Then she closed the jar and poked a few holes in the lid using Mr. Skelly’s sword. The genie pounded on the lid while shouting profanities, but Alice gave the jar one good shake, and the genie was covered in jam.

Tafel frowned. “I was going to use that for breakfast eventually.”

“Don’t worry,” Alice said. “It’s put to better use this way.”

“Harming a genie will bring about great misfortune! Great, great misfortune! You dumb, undersized giant! Let me out of here this instant!” The genie’s tiny fists punched the lid to no avail. He was covered in a layer of blue sauce, and only his eyes were untouched.

“But I’m not harming you?” Alice asked, raising an eyebrow. She brought the jar up to her face and smiled at the genie through the glass. “All I did was put you into a place with a lot of food. Where’s the harm?”