Book 3: Chapter 12 (2/2)

“Children don’t want to be terrified!” Alice frowned at Mr. Skelly. “I’m going to buy a suit of armor for you. It’ll come with a helmet that covers your face too.”

“You … don’t like looking at my face?” Mr. Skelly asked, clutching his chest as he bent over. Fat tears leaked out of his eye sockets, plopping onto the ground.

Alice smacked the back of his head. “Stop it. You’re making a scene.”

Dozens of villagers—all of them women—were standing around, whispering while pointing at the couple. Mr. Skelly sighed, causing some of the women to gasp and take steps back. “Alright,” he said, his tears vanishing. “For your sake, I’ll wear a suit of armor. I understand you become jealous very easily, so I’ll hide my face to prevent women from falling in love with me at first sight. And a suit of armor will provide many opportunities for me to approach people without causing alarm before I scare them.”

“You really like scaring people, huh?” Alice mumbled.

Mr. Skelly nodded. “It’s my only form of release.”

Alice bit her lower lip. “Is it tough? I mean, you know, being dead and all. Is living life as a skeleton difficult? That’s what I meant.”

“Is being a skeleton difficult…,” Mr. Skelly said and rubbed his lower jaw. “It’s actually really convenient. You don’t have to eat. You don’t have to poop. You don’t have to breathe. You don’t have to worry about dying. You can’t even feel pain. If you’re tired, you can hibernate to preserve mana. When it’s cold out, you don’t need to wear a jacket. When it’s hot out, you don’t even sweat. Mosquitoes don’t bite you. Dogs will flock to you. And you don’t even have to worry about getting fat.” He nodded and grinned at Alice.

“So … if you could come back to life, would you?” Alice asked.

“Without a doubt,” Mr. Skelly said. “If I missed being dead after coming back to life, it wouldn’t be too hard to change that again with the help of my trusty ol’ sword.”

Alice punched Mr. Skelly’s sternum. “Don’t say things like that.”

“But you asked?”

Alice snorted. “Forget it. Let’s go explore this village and find a reason to start a war.”