Chapter 14: Hugs at Home (1/2)

It was a surreal feeling to be walking home to say goodbye. I had to tell the family I’d be gone; hopefully the kids hadn’t gotten too reliant on me bringing food every day. The difference between home and the guild always startled me. It was like stepping into a whole different world, and now that I was part of the new one, I could never truly return. Some other urchin tried to steal my money pouch on the way. How often had I been the opposite end of that very interaction? I ran him down easily, my weakness of the past dropping further and further away. I felt like I’d betrayed something when I had to kick him to the floor to get my stuff back. It was easy, even with my hands full of food. I didn’t kick that hard, so hopefully he wouldn’t even bruise. Hopefully.

I give him a small bread roll when he hands me my money back, telling him to eat it slowly. I needed that cash for my family, but… well, I wouldn’t just become another Grig. I arrive home shortly afterwards, settling into routine. The usual tackles and hugs from the kids, followed by the usual distribution of food, and then finally the markedly unusual disappointment that Orville hadn’t joined me. He did most days, but I didn’t want to bother him right before the team’s first hunt.

When the kids all had food in their hands, Lyn emerged from the shack as well, her usual goofy grin replaced with a smile of pure pride. She walked over and hugged me tightly, letting the embrace linger.

“Vita,” she murmured. “Thank you so much. You’ve truly been a lifesaver these past couple weeks.”

“Literally?” I ask, raising an eyebrow. That was an important sort of clarification.

She grimaces.

“...Maybe. I’ve kind of been relying on you. The Broken Drakens seem to think that the help you’re giving me means I have more time for them.”

I scowl. Were they trying to keep us all starving?

“...Well, make sure you tell them I won’t be able to help for a while. I’m going on my first hunt tomorrow.”

Lyn’s eyes go wide, a worried expression marring her freckled face.

“Really? That's so soon! They're going to send you out after only a couple weeks of training? Are things okay at the guild?”

“The way we were told, we were being sent because our team was a perfect fit for the job,” I answer, shrugging. “I don’t know if there’s more to it, but the work does seem to be tailored for our team. Plus, Remus will be with us, and he’s crazy powerful. I think it’ll be fine. My guess is that I’ll be away for the next five days. You can count on me coming back richer and stronger.”

Lyn takes a deep breath before leaning down and scooping me up into another hug. It startled me so much that I almost grabbed for my spear, but legs dangling, I wrapped my arms around her and hugged her back instead.

“You can count on the Drakens taking every last cent,” she whispered softly in my ear. “They just want to use me. There’s no intention of letting us pay off the debt.”

Damn. I had been afraid of that.

“They should know better than to steal from thieves,” I whisper back.

“Tread carefully, Vita,” she answers. “They don’t control all this by chance.”

I nod and she puts me back down.

“So! Wow. Your first big hunt, huh?” Lyn says, her usual goofy grin back on her face. “Don’t be making me cry now, Vita. The boys already joke that I’m a mom.”

Well, she totally was a mom, but I don’t know if it’s a good idea to tell her that. She’d raised most of these kids, and even if I’ve only been with her a year she was the closest thing to family I had. Honestly, I’ve always wondered…

“Lyn, why do you do all this?” I ask. “Like all the… charity stuff. It’s weird.”

She puffed out her cheeks a little, blowing out air.

“Well that’s a doozy of a question, isn’t it? Why do you do it?”

I blink. What the heck was she talking about?

“I owe you. I promised.”

“Nah,” she said, waving dismissively. “You don’t owe me shit, Vita. That’s what charity means. I’ll damn well take the help, but if you never wanted to come back here I wouldn’t be surprised or disappointed. Nothing is actually stopping you from keeping it all, ya know? So why do you do it?”

Why was she pointing this out? Was this some kind of test?

“I’m not really asking about me,” I protest.

“Your answer is part of my answer,” she responds smugly. “Come on, humor me, kiddo.”

“M’not a kiddo,” I grumble, thinking.

Lyn is the whole reason I’m doing any of this. She’s the whole reason I’m even alive! It seems like such a stupid question, but it’s still so hard to answer.

“I just don’t think I could live with myself if I screwed you over,” I eventually say.

“That’s kind of the heart of it, yeah,” Lyn answers, nodding. “We have to live with ourselves, or we die. Physically or otherwise. I’m a thief, kid. I don’t know if I can not be a thief. There’s nothing better than that rush of outmaneuvering everyone and running off into the night. But way back when I started to think… am I a bad person for feeling that way? I’m a criminal, for sure. I make my living by screwing other people over. That eats at me. So I start to steal from those who I think ‘deserve it.’ Assholes, hoarders, the kind of folk that keep the little people down. But it still eats at me. I’m still just some bitch that steals to steal. So one day I get the bright idea to give it all away.”

She indicates me, the shack, the kids themselves who are each paying rapt attention to the story. Lyn doesn’t talk about her past. None of us do.

“And hey! Now I’m providing for starving orphan kids. Now I feel good. I’m all cool and superior to everyone I steal from. That’s what you all are, my little excuses.”

She shrugs. I frown.

“But you care about us, right?”

“More than anything in the world,” she answers seriously. “I would do anything for you goobers. Anything at all. It surprised me! I didn’t expect to get so attached.”

I swallow, holding back on the urge to hug her again.

“L-likewise,” I choke out. “Please stay safe while I’m gone, Lyn.”

“Hey! That’s my line!” she laughs. “I don’t know what I’d do if something happened to you.”