Chapter 111: It’s Coarse and Rough, and It Gets Everywhere (2/2)
Jinx threw a bullet into the fire as she looked up. ”I guess I should start off with something I haven't told anyone outside the Montague family. My real name. My actual name is Holly.”
”Holly? Holly… Nothing wacky or over the top? Holly is a surprisingly normal name for you.”
”Ha, I know, right! That was meant to be my name as a child, that's what I found out anyway after being called Jinx my whole life. You see, I never knew my mother. She died giving birth to me. My older siblings Monty and Butch, took it hard. Especially Monty, when she died, it affected him like nothing else, but that wasn't all. Throughout my entire life, I just brought on bad luck and misfortune. The manor caught on fire three times all apart from my own room. Everyone came down with a nasty sickness six years back, and three maids died all apart from me, to little things like broken vases, or dead animals. Raining on days it shouldn't and many other stupid things. I gained the nickname Jinx a while ago for this very reason. My ability to give people all around me bad luck stuck that name on me like a cloud sitting over my head. Eventually, I just accepted the name and used it for my own.”
”So that was your power or something. A bad luck charm?”
Jinx leaned forward, staring at her hand, forcing a fake laugh. ”Sounds stupid when I say it aloud. But it's true. When the time came to take that trial, I didn't think twice. I wanted to throw away the weak and defenceless Holly. The girl who made anyone she cared about to suffer, the girl who could do nothing but cry and stand there helplessly doing nothing. I vowed to come out of those trials someone else. I became Jinx Montague; I became strong and let no one bring me down for who I am.”
Alton shook his head, standing up, walking away. ”Are you even hearing yourself? Building up a persona so much that you actually believe you are that fake identity. Burying who you really are will bring nothing but pain to others.”
”Like what you are doing Dauntless.” Alton turns around as Jinx was lying on her front, eyeing him down with a playful look. ”I've noticed something about you; you're very quick to judge other people, yet you are just guilty of such sins as I am. We saw who you really are back at the hideout. How you took care of my brother and Revert was nothing less than chaotic. It sent shivers down my spine it really did. You get me, don't you? I saw it, you enjoyed it. Letting loose, not being held down by other people or their opinions. You for that short moment were free.”
Alton stormed up to her wanting to retaliate but stopped himself turning away grunting. ”It's not like that.”
”You deny your true self. Why deny it?” she prods. ”You see, because of her, because of Zinnia the old me is starting to poke it's ugly head out. It's like a fucking weed unless dug up it will always be there. I can't go back to being like that. The Jinx they all saw me as. Why should I?”
Alton walked over to the bunker seeing the sandstorm see roaring on. Stepping back, he eyed down Jinx meeting her demands. ”That isn't for me to say. I don't care.”
Jinx jumped up meeting Alton head-on smiling looking down on him. ”And that's just how it always is, isn't it? Pretend you don't care maybe people will stop asking. Maybe the past will stay there if you just stop caring. Admit it, Alton, you see me, and you are jealous.”
”Ha! Jealous, oh, trust me sweetheart all of this is nothing to be jealous of.” Alton barks stepping backwards. ”A Montague is nothing but scum.”
”Think what you will about me, about Monty, but everyone is moving forward, and you are still at the starting line.”
Alton stopped looking slightly lost. ”What's that supposed to mean?”
Jinx walked around him, running her fingers across his shoulders. ”It's exactly what it sounds like. Look at your friends around you. Zinnia became a Montague, the very same scum you claim us to be she is one now. She awakened to her own powers and is rallying to her future. Emil faced his past and was accepted for who he is. Gale is still trying to find his purpose, but his family encounter I was told has set up an open path for him. And then there's Scarlett against all odds she is becoming a streamer among a household of people who are opposed to the idea. She is making history. They are leaving you behind, Alton. What are you looking to achieve? The way I see it, you're just too scared to make a name for yourself to actually take a risk. You're more than happy to be where you are at for the rest of your life.”
”Is there something wrong with that?”
”No, to some people that's good. You don't have to worry about complicated things like that. You can drown in your own pity. Never going forward but also quite possibly going back. If you could have had it, you would still be fixed up at that gas station working nine till five for minimum wage. You're quite happy to be forgotten. You claim to be the leader of this group, but all I see is a follower one who will be left behind when the time arrives.”
Alton stares blankly at her before giving up using the points on his card to teleport to another region. ”Not going forward? Maybe you are right about that. Maybe I am the odd one out when it comes to the others. Knowing they are all moving towards their dream, achieving new things each and every day is truly fantastic. But that's the thing if I move forward everyone around me will just… Stop.”
Throwing the teleporter towards the wall, Alton stopped hearing the pump of Jinx shotgun go off. He turned around, seeing Jinx looking furious. ”Well you might be quite willing to just lay down and let life pass you by but I cannot. I refuse to go back, back to the old me. If that me takes over and carries on all of this would be for nothing. I need to prove not just to myself by the whole world Jinx Montague is always moving forward.”
Alton stared at her, gripping his hand tightly. ”So that's why you helped me. Not as a sign of an alliance but as an excuse to try and prove your worthless dream. And this is what dreaming gets you. Nowhere but false hope and failure. I'm sorry, but I'm not about to give up on this competition. I will win, and you won't stop me.”
”You're a walking contradiction, you know that. You claim to not want to reach out for your dream yet here we are somewhere neither one of us belong in.”
Alton opened his hand as the dry clumps of blood covering his wound shattered hovering around his hand. ”Well unless that dream is to give it all up. For me, it's one step forward and three steps back. Let me show you what it looks like for someone who wants to lose it all!”