Youre Fired 3 (2/2)
“And the Princess is waiting below,” said Anise, smiling. “Trying to salvage some Reason from the situation. And here I am, Amelia Gearhart, ready to unmask myself to the kingdom... with Emmet's help, to sell it, of course.”
“Of course,” Threadbare said. “It seems very clever. But isn't there one more?”
“He's busy,” said the Legion, gesturing the wasps down to patrol around the dome, blocking the vision slits out. “You're a clever one, aren't you? You see how we're going to play this?”
“Garon told me about the Hand. How the entire country thinks they're the surviving heroes of the Seven, yes. I suppose you're all going to unmask and show them that yes, that's true?”
“A new Seven. Now that Cecelia is grown enough to take her place with us,” Anise smiled. “I'm the secret thumb, you could say. And she's two extra digits, her and reason combined.”
“Except she's not Cecelia, is she? Just as you're not Amelia?”
Emmet shifted, restless.
“Don't be ridiculous, who else would we be?” Anise smiled, but her eyes were hard now. “And you're a little bear who knows too much.”
“All I know is that you're not a nice lady, not at all.”
“No dear. That's part of the irony.” Anise smiled. “Ready to die now?” She asked, eyes flicking past him, looking for the trick, looking for the trap.
“I suppose so.” Threadbare hopped down. “Do you mind if I put my clothes on? I'd rather not die naked.”
“Be my guest. Ranshax, kill him if he gets stupid.”
The ninja nodded.
“Call Outfit,” Threadbare said, and was clad in his clothes once more. He lifted the pack up, and settled it on his shoulders.
Your Call Outfit skill is now level 4!
“Your hat,” said Emmet. “It was different before.”
“Yes,” said Threadbare, putting his paw to the waystone that had been sewn into it. “I suppose it was. Goodbye.”
He saw Anise's eyes widen, and then everything was green, and his view distorted as shurikens whipped through it...
...and he was fading in, right in the middle of a crater.
Kayin, battered and scorched, grinned happily at him and waved. “One life down, boss! Glad to see it was worth it!”
Next to her, a burned, holed, but intact pack was open, and Glub was pulling a very cranky Pulsivar out. Next to him, Fluffbear put away her sewing supplies. Then Madeline was hugging him.
“Ah! Thank you!” He pushed her away after a second. “I need to get Cecelia and Graves out. Excuse me. Oh, hold on. Clean and Press.”
He did himself and the pack, raising levels twice. Both it and he had been dosed with toxic smoke, after all. No sense to going to all this trouble just to kill the man as he emerged.
Threadbare rummaged around in HIS pack, and pulled them out one after the other. First Cecelia, then Graves.
“Everything went to plan?” Graves asked, sweatstained from the evening's efforts.
Threadbare looked at Kayin.
She grinned. “Perfectly. I shoved the pack into the padding, and when the shell hit I used Nine Lives to survive it. Then I pulled Glub and Fluffbear and your clothes out. He made the waymark and the waystone, and she sewed it into the brim of your hat.”
“I finished like ten seconds before it disappeared,” Fluffbear squeaked. “You cut it really close. What happened?”
“My teapot got broken.” Threadbare sighed. “Too scattered to mend it, I fear. Oh, and the Hand are going to reveal themselves as the surviving members of the Seven and reunite the kingdom.”
Everyone went silent.
Then Pulsivar hissed, and backed into the center of the group, as a man cleared his voice from up above the crater.
“Aye, perhaps ye'd better tell us more about that?” A stranger said, and Threadbare looked up, to see about a dozen dwarves in heavy armor, leveling guns down at the golems and their living friends. “Later. After ye're properly in a cell.”
“Oh, good!” Threadbare said. “NOW we can surrender.”
THREADBARE'S CHARACTER SHEET
Spoiler: Spoiler
Name: Threadbare
Age: 5
Jobs:
Greater Toy Golem Level 15
Cave Bear Level 12
Ruler Level 12
Scout Level 7
Tailor Level 11
Model Level 10
Necromancer Level 11
Duelist Level 6
Animator Level 12
Enchanter Level 10
Golemist Level 14
Smith Level 11
Sculptor Level 12
Attributes:
Strength: 125 Constitution: 140 Hit Points: 335(435) Armor: 52(65)
Intelligence: 226 Wisdom: 204(211) Sanity: 430(584) Mental Fortitude: 42
Dexterity: 147(154) Agility: 118(125) Stamina: 275() Endurance: 62
Charisma: 120(149) Willpower: 211 Moxie: 331(460) Cool: 20(48)
Perception: 125 Luck: 92(99) Fortune: 217(324) Fate: 15(22)
Generic Skills
Brawling - Level 43 (+14)
Climb - Level 13
Clubs and Maces - Level 9
Dagger - Level 9
Dodge - Level 9
Fishing - Level 1
Magic Item 1 - Resist Fire 13
Ride - Level 8
Stealth - Level 17
Swim - Level 5
Greater Toy Golem Skills
Adorable - Level 31
Bodyguard - Level 7
Gift of Sapience - Level NA
Golem Body - Level 28
Innocent Embrace - Level 14
Magic Resistance -Level 16
Cave Bear Skills
Animalistic Interface - NA
Claw Swipes - 26
Darkspawn - NA
Forage - 13
Growl - 2
Hibernate - 37
Scents and Sensibility - 20
Stubborn - 9
Toughness - 20
Ruler Skills
Appoint Official - Level NA
Emboldening Speech - Level 19
Identify Subject - Level 10
It's Good to be King - NA
King's Quest - Level 14
Noblesse Oblige - Level 30
Organize Minions - Level NA
Royal Audience - Level 22
Simple Decree - Level 15
Swear Fealty - Level NA
Scout Skills
Alertness - Level 3
Best Route - Level 3
Camouflage - Level 13(20)
Firestarter - Level 10
Keen Eye - Level 10
Sturdy Back - Level 13
Wind's Whisper - Level 15
Tailor Skills
Adjust Outfit - Level 4
Clean and Press - Level 15
Recycle Cloth - Level 1
Tailoring - Level 53(68)
Model Skills
Adjust Weight - Level 14
Call Outfit - Level 4
Dietary Restriction - Level 50 (+100 to all pools)
Fascination - Level 8
Flex - Level 20
Makeup - Level 10
Self-Esteem - Level 20
Sexy Pose - Level 2
Strong Pose - Level 15
Work it Baby - Level 50 (+50% to raw item bonuses)
Necromancer Skills
Assess Corpse - Level 12
Command the Dead - Level 28
Deathsight - Level 8
Drain Life - Level 7
Invite Undead - Level 12
Mana Focus - Level NA (+11% to sanity)
Skeletons - Level 19
Soulstone - Level 45
Speak With Dead - Level 24
Zombies - Level 3
Duelist Skills
Challenge - Level 9
Dazzling Entrance - Level 17
Fancy Flourish - Level 13 (20)
Guard Stance - Level 19
Parry - Level 10
Swashbuckler's Spirit - NA (+14 to cool)
Swinger - Level 2
Weapon Specialist - Level 29 (Brawling +14)
Animator Skills
Animus - Level 36
Animus Blade - Level 10
Animus Shield - Level 4
Arm Creation - Level 7
Command Animus - Level 19
Creator's Guardians - Level 27
Dollseye - Level 18
Eye for Detail - Level 20
Magic Mouth - Level 18
Mend - Level 40
Enchanter Skills
Appraise - Level 30
Boost+5 - Level 14
Boost +10 - Level 2
Disenchant - Level 7
Elemental Protection - Level 9
Glowgleam - Level 26
Harden - Level 32
Soften - Level 31
Spellstore I - Level 25
Spellstore V - Level 4
Spellstore X - Level 1
Wards - Level 2
Golemist Skills
Clay Golem - Level 2
Command Golem - Level 24
Golem Animus - Level 47
Golem Guardians - NA
Invite Golem - Level 12
Mend Golem - Level 29
Program Golem - Level 42
Toy Golem - Level 56
Wood Golem - Level 12
Smith Skills
Adjust Arms and Armor - Level 7
Refine Ore - Level 13
Smelt Down - Level 6
Smithing - Level 50
Sculptor Skills
Detect Clay - Level 8
Mend Ceramic - Level 5
Refine Clay - Level 16
Sculpting - Level 58
Equipment
Journeyman Tailor's Apron of fire resistance (+6 Armor, +10 Tailoring, Resist Fire 9)(+3 Armor, +5 Tailoring, +4 Resist Fire from WIB)
Okay Quality Bling
Ringtail Master's Coat (+5 CHA, +5 LUCK, +5 Armor, +5 Fate)(+2 CHA, LUCK, Armor, Fate from WIB)
Rod of Baronly Might (+5 CHA, +5 WIS, +10 Cool)(+2 CHA, WIS, +4 Cool from WIB)
Sneakypants (+5 Camouflage)(+2 Camouflage from WIB)
Yellow Belt of Bravado (+5 AGL, +5 DEX, +5 to the Fancy Flourish skill)(+2 AGL, DEX, Fancy Flourish from WIB)
Toy Top Hat (CHA +10)(+5 CHA from WIB)
Inventory
A Folded-steel Dagger (Dagger Level 10)
Tailor's Tools
A small jewelry box, now empty.
1 bead of Mend Golem (Level 15)
1 bead of Silent Killer (Level 10)
Minorphone (Enhances voice and social skills focused through it twice per day)
Quests
Unlocked Jobs
Berserker, Cleric, Cook, Cultist, Grifter, Spirit Medium, Tamer, Wizard