A Paw Full of Undead 1 (2/2)
“Hmph.” She flipped her blonde ponytail back, and stared back at Threadbare. “You are just the cutest thing, you know that? I bet you sucker people in that way, and then SHUNK!”
“No,” Threadbare shook his head. “No shunking. Mostly hugging.”
“Weird, but with that much gear on you I guess it's working out well.” The bartender shrugged, and took a bottle down. “Do you drink?”
“No.”
“We don't drink... wine, either.” The bartender grinned. He had a friendly face, with two curly mustaches.
“Gods, don't remind me,” the woman sighed. “At least I found us that goat a few hours back. You're all welcome, by the way. Not naming names. Barret and Grimble.”
“Thank you Darla,” the miller said. The bartender just rolled his eyes.
Then the building shook again, as whatever was upstairs howled a breathless scream, that went on for minutes. Missus Fluffbear put her hands over her ears, and Threadbare patted her sympathetically.
When it was done, he asked “What was that?”
“Oh, uh, that's one of us who didn't wake up right.” Darla said, shuddering. “Pity, too. He'd be a hell of a fighter, but... eh, he wasn't human. Gets weird sometimes when you're not. Racial skills get stuck, and bad things happen. That's what the mistress says.”
Boards creaked overhead. “Oh, here she comes now!”
“So you must be a pretty high-level golem,” the bartender said. “Only ones I ever heard of aren't supposed to be smart. Did you luck out and get a monster job that lets you have a class level, too? We get one, but only because we had them to start, and only one comes across.”
“Your best one.” Darla said. “Gods I miss my berserker levels. But at least I've got the knight stuff, so I'm somewhat useful in a fight. Not naming names here. Barret.”
“Shut up!” The miller said. “What was I supposed to do? Not my fault my parents literally made me grind miller before I ran away to wizard school! Then I got vamped, and ten wizard levels went straight down the drain, just like that!”
“Guys, guys...” The bartender made shushing motions.
“Oh, I've got eight adventuring jobs,” The little bear said. “And two crafting ones.”
The room fell silent.
“That uh, that sounds like you're an adventurer to me,” the miller said, edging back a little.
“Maybe? I don't know. I don't think I'm a monster.”
“Barret, Grimble, ease up,” Darla said, as the miller drew out a stone club and the bartender slipped a hand under the counter. “He's weird, okay, but it's not like he's a necromancer or anything.”
“Oh, I'm one of those too,” Threadbare offered, helpfully.
Darla's face froze. “Oh boy. Tell me you're joking.”
“Nope.” There were feet on the creaking stairs now as someone descended, but Threadbare's attention was on the little trio around him. “See? Assess Corpse.”
Your Assess Corpse skill is now level 2!
Instantly words appeared over all of the humans' heads. Darla was a level 4 lesser vampire spawn and a level 9 knight. Grimble the bartender was a level 5 vampire spawn and a level 7 grifter. Barret was a level 8 vampire spawn and a level 21 miller. And for some reason, they'd all lost their smiles, and drawn their weapons.
“What's wrong?” Threadbare asked, sliding his hand down to his pocket, where he'd tucked the scepter.
“You!” A voice squealed, and Threadbare turned, to see the mysterious girl he'd met so long ago! She still wore the green-and-poka-dotted scarf around her head, but now she had a ragged black dress to go with it, and some big black boots that stomped as she charged him, scooping him up into a hug. “Mistah baah! Gahd, it's been so lahng, how ah yah?”
“Hello!” Threadbare said.
“You can tauk now? Holy shit!”
“I made my mouth myself,” said Threadbare, and hugged her back.
It was a very good, very lucky thing that he'd long ago turned off the auto-activation of his innocent embrace skill. Otherwise that night might have ended very differently.
But as it was, the lesser vampire spawns relaxed as their master giggled.
Finally, she put him down on a table, and he got a clear look at the words above her head.
Vampire level ???
“So what brings ya ta my neck a the woods?” She grinned, toothily, pulling up a chair. Darla came over and plopped Missus Fluffbear and Beanarella down as well. “And ya brought friends, too? Wow!”
“I'm wondering if you can help me,” The bear said. He pointed at Missus Fluffbear. “She needs to play that card game you played with me. A lot. Also I'm looking for a big, black bobcat. He's a friend of mine, and I don't know where he went to. He suddenly ran off.”
“A big bobcat, yah say?” The girl's face grew guarded, and she shot the bartender a look. “And a friend ah yahs?”
“Yes.”
“Oooh... bahd luck if he's around heah, then.” She shook her head. “Grimble, why don't ya explain?” She winked at the bartender, who smiled, covering his mouth for a brief moment as he mouthed the words “Silver Tongue.” Threadbare had no way of knowing that silent activation was a grifter skill, nor would he have known what silver tongue did anyway.
The grifter started his con. “Yes, my friend. I fear our little community is at war, with an evil necromancer! Which is why we were a little alarmed, earlier. Just a brief misunderstanding, haha.”
“Haha,” Threadbare agreed, not knowing why he should, but he did. He had no way of knowing his better-than-average willpower and actually-fairly-decent cool were being deftly suborned by the grifter's enhanced charisma.
“Her thing, her style if you will, involves cats. Living ones, and when they die, she brings them back. And alas, they always die. So if she has your friend...”
“No!” Threadbare jumped to his feet. “She can't kill Pulsivar!”
“Ah, yes... her killing Pulsivar. Yes.” Grimble shot a glance at Darla, who hurridly tucked away a cat-fur pouch. “Anyway,” he continued, “we've been fighting against her evil ways, but she's ever so strong, and being a necromancer, we're weak to some of her attacks. We've been trying to enlist the help of our best fighter, but alas, he is cursed. There is a strange spirit to the south, an evil witch who has cursed him so that he cannot join us.”
“Fartunately the witch is strahng enough to resist tha Cat Queen too,” the vampire girl said. “But it's only a mattah of time till the Cat Queen snares that spirit. Then our best weapon is against us, and a powaful ghost witch is on all our ahssess too.”
“If only someone could go out and kill that ghost witch,” The bartender said, clapping his hands to his chest. “Someone who didn't have life to be drained away by her shuddering touch, or dead flesh that withered at her grasp...”
“I could do that!” Threadbare said, completely buying into the narrative.
Impressed, the grifter and his master shared a glance. They didn't even have to offer a quest!
Outside, ears perked on a feline head, and a moth-eaten feline corpse twitched out of its resting spot under a window, and rattled away into the night, eyes of solid blue necromantic energy glowing in the darkness.
The mistress would want to hear about this!
THREADBARE'S CHARACTER SHEET
Spoiler: Spoiler
Name: Threadbare
Age: 5
Jobs:
Greater Toy Golem Level 10
Cave Bear Level 10
Ruler Level 4
Scout Level 5
Tailor Level 8
Model Level 3
Necromancer Level 1
Duelist Level 3
Animator Level 5
Enchanter Level 1
Golemist Level 2
Smith Level 1
Attributes:
Strength: 93 Constitution: 100 Hit Points: 253(283) Armor: 42(51)
Intelligence: 80 Wisdom: 113(118) Sanity: 193(228) Mental Fortitude: 32
Dexterity: 70(75) Agility: 75(85) Stamina: 155(200) Endurance: 52
Charisma: 64(89) Willpower: 67 Moxie: 131(186) Cool: 20
Perception: 66 Luck: 60(65) Fortune: 126(161) Fate: 10(15)
Generic Skills
Brawling - Level 25 (+5)
Climb - Level 13
Clubs and Maces - Level 9
Dagger - Level 9
Dodge - Level 7
Fishing - Level 1
Ride - Level 8
Stealth - Level 9
Swim - Level 2
Greater Toy Golem Skills
Adorable - Level 18
Bodyguard - Level 6
Gift of Sapience - Level NA
Golem Body - Level 20
Innocent Embrace - Level 11
Magic Resistance -Level 6
Bear Skills
Animalistic Interface - NA
Claw Swipes - 22
Darkspawn - NA
Forage - 13
Growl - 2
Hibernate - 37
Scents and Sensibility - 17
Stubborn - 7
Toughness - 15
Ruler Skills
Emboldening Speech - Level 5
Identify Subject - Level 1
Noblesse Oblige - Level 20
Royal Request - Level 1
Simple Decree - Level 1
Scout Skills
Alertness - Level 1
Best Route - Level 1
Camouflage - Level 1
Firestarter - Level 4
Keen Eye - Level 1
Sturdy Back - Level 6
Wind's Whisper - Level 1
Tailor Skills
Talioring - Level 38(42)
Clean and Press - Level 5
Adjust Outfit - Level 2
Model Skills
Dietary Restriction - Level 15 (+30 to all pools)
Fascination - Level 3
Flex - Level 13
Self-Esteem - Level 13
Work it Baby - Level 8
Necromancer Skills
Assess Corpse - Level 2
Command the Dead - Level 1
Soulstone - Level 1
Speak With Dead -Level 2
Zombies - Level 3
Duelist Skills
Challenge - Level 3
Dazzling Entrance - Level 1
Fancy Flourish - Level 6 (11)
Guard Stance - Level 8
Weapon Specialist - Level 10 (Brawling +5)
Animator Skills
Animus - Level 12
Animus Blade - Level 1
Arm Creation - Level 1
Command Animus - Level 7
Creator's Guardians - Level 12
Dollseye - Level 1
Eye for Detail - Level 7
Mend - Level 25
Enchanter Skills
Appraise - Level 5
Glowgleam - Level 1
Harden - Level 5
Soften - Level 1
Spellstore - Level 1
Golemist Skills
Command Golem - Level 1
Golem Animus - Level 2
Invite Golem - Level 2
Toy Golem Construction - Level 2
Smith Skills
Refine Ore - Level 1
Equipment
Apprentice Tailor's Apron (+4 Armor, +4 Tailoring)
Baggy Pants of Hammerspace (+5 AGL, +5 CHA, Allows hammerspace for one blunt weapon)
Poor Quality Bling
Ringtail Master's Coat (+5 CHA, +5 LUCK, +5 Armor, +5 Fate)
Rod of Baronly Might (+5 CHA, +5 WIS, +10 Cool)
Yellow Belt of Bravado (+5 AGL, +5 DEX, +5 to the Fancy Flourish skill)
Toy Top Hat (CHA +10)
Inventory
Assorted Copper and Silver coins
Clown Horn
Tailor's Tools
2 Doses of Red Reagent
1 Doses of Yellow Reagent
Minorphone (Enhances voice and social skills focused through it twice per day)
Quests
Save Celia
Unlocked Jobs
Berserker, Cook, Tamer, Wizard