151 False story "If you could say that word".txt (1/2)

''- Oh, you don't even know you're being looked down upon. On the contrary, I'm wondering how you can think you're not being looked down upon. Who wouldn't look down on an ugly lackey who doesn't have something everyone takes for granted?　Even if we accepted it without looking down on it, it's not kindness. This is what my parents and my childhood friends think of me. --I'll at least be nice to them because they're so pathetic to look at.

There was a time when I had the same dream over and over again when I was little.

It was a dream in a dimly lit room, with my reflection in the mirror laughing at me and talking to me about such things.

I couldn't stand it anymore and tried to run away, but the air wrapped around me like mud, and I couldn't move even one step.

It was heartbreakingly hard to have to listen to my taunts incessantly until I woke up.

The world is kind and everyone likes and is interested in me.

The recurring dream shattered those childish thoughts without a trace.

It was when I started dreaming that I began to feel jealous of others.

I was the only one who lacked something that everyone else took for granted.

When I realized that I was literally lacking, I wailed many times.

Because it's something that can't be helped.

It's a gap that can't be filled by effort, a gulf that can't be changed even if you try hard enough, a commonplace thing for others.

I couldn't help but envy the commonplace that I couldn't get no matter what I did in the future.

All the words my family would say to me came from a feeling of 'pity'.

The people in the village were all looking at me with 'pity' in their eyes.

All of the scenes I had seen so far seemed to be a lie.

But it's not my fault.

What's wrong is my parents who gave birth to me as the missing person.

They are the heartless villagers who look at me with pity.

So, someday.

I will have my revenge on the world that forced me to suffer so much.

Until then, I'll mask myself as a good, hard-working kid and turn the tables on those who have been deceived.

That was the first strong feeling Dionis Harberg had.

And the second--.

◆.

With the sword borrowed from his parents, he does his daily barefooting.

In the quiet forest, the only sound is the sound of the blade cutting the wind.

As I listened to the sound, I thought strongly that I hated swinging the sword.

The sweat would stain my body, my arms would get tired, and it would be a bad thing.

The only good thing about it is that I can feel that I am getting more and more comfortable with the sword every day.

It's been a year since I started holding a sword.

By this time, I was already the best of all the children in the village when it came to fighting with a sword.

''Haha ...... why is there no way to get stronger quickly like this?''

After finishing his bare swing, he put down his sword and moved on to training his magic.

I'll be dealing with the most appropriate water-attribute magic.

Thanks to the fact that I read all the magic books in the village, I am proud to be the best in the village when it comes to water attribute magic.

The training of this magic is also hard because of the exhaustion of magic power.

To conclude, I don't like training.

And here comes another reason for my dislike.

Good job. You really do work hard every day without fail, don't you?

A woman scrambled through the trees and tactlessly walked into the secret training grounds.

Her concentration was broken, and the magical power that had been gathering in her palms was dissipating.

''Hey, Shirley. Training is meaningless if you don't continue to train every day.''

Frustrated at being interrupted, I smile at the girl my age who came in, hiding her true feelings.

A brown-skinned girl with light brown hair pulled back at the shoulder - Shirley.

Two horns sprouting from her forehead come into view, and I feel terribly uncomfortable.

''I see, that's right. Father said that he has to work hard every day too. But Dionis is great. I can't keep working out hard every day, you know.'

-- you're mocking me for being the lackey anyway, by saying that, aren't you?

I don't say the words that are in my heart.

I've decided that my last moment of killing the villagers will be the last time I tell them the truth.

”I'm not great. It's just that I'm not as good as others. Instead, I have to work harder than the others.

The smile he gave me, his attitude, everything he said was false, but the abominable thing was that he only meant what he said.

'...... I see.'

Dionis is awesome, Sherley repeats the flattery.

I don't understand this woman.

Why does she persistently follow me around like this?

When I'm working out in the forest, this woman will always call out to me.

It's uncomfortable and I don't know what her intentions are, and it's weird.

I'm sorry to have interrupted you. Continue?

'Yeah, I will. I'm sorry I haven't been very good to you.

Charley continues to stare at me as I resume my training.

Really, I don't understand.

◆

Several years have passed since then.

After I had passed fifteen, I was allowed to participate in a tournament held every few years.

It's a contest to compare the skills of magic, swordsmanship and body arts.

I participated in the tournament and naturally won.

My parents are in tears of joy, and my sister is waving at me, her face red with excitement.

There is no one in this village who can beat me anymore.

This is the result of all the training I've been doing.

I've been looked down upon for a long time, and I've overtaken those who were standing idly by.

They have proven themselves to be inferior to me, the lackey.

So.

Why aren't I happy?

The cheers, the accolades, the fact that we won, it all doesn't matter.

''- Oh, you don't even know you're being disrespected.

I hear voices.

Repeatedly, repetitively, the sweet poison that eats away at my thoughts seeps into my brain.

Unable to bear it, I disappeared from the hall.

I headed for the usual forest.

He sat down on a rock and stared at the ground without a care in the world.

The reverberations behind my ears made me want to throw up.

'-- I knew you were here.

As if to drown out the reverberations, I heard a voice.

I looked up and saw Shirley standing there.

'I've been in the heat of battle, a little winded, you know. See, it's quiet and cool here, right?

You're not really happy about it, are you?

Shirley hesitantly uttered those words as if to cover the words she had mended.

For a moment, I stopped to think.

'...... Maybe I worried about you. If so, I'm sorry. But it's really nothing, you know.

Then why do you look like you're in such pain?

I put my hand to my face with a huff, but what's there is my usual expression.

It's the same fake expression as always, supposedly mended.

And yet Charley's eyes seemed to be looking beneath such a mended mask.

'What,'

'I was too scared to ask for a long time. ...... but when I saw Dionis win the tournament, I knew if I didn't say it now, there was nothing I could do about it.

So what?

Dionysus, don't you always lie to me?　To me and to my family.

Jesus.

What the f*ck is wrong with you?

”I knew it. I've noticed that Dionysus is always making overtures to people. It's because you're in pain.

...... You know what, Shirley? I'm not quite sure what you're getting at.

Dionysus always seemed to have a hard time saying the things he didn't want to say and putting on a smile he didn't want to put on.

I don't understand. Would you stop that?

'I'm anxious ....... What people think of me.

----

I was speechless at the sight of those eyes staring at me.

'So no matter what people tell me, I can't take it. I'm afraid that they're lying to me too. So, Dionis also lies to everyone and tries not to tell the truth.

...... Stop it.

And the reason is... --Horns, right?

I told you to stop!

When I heard those words, I was screaming.

I couldn't control what was building up inside my chest so I could blurt it all out.

'Anxiety?　Anxiety?　Who do you think you're talking to?　Why do I have to feel that way about every single thing you guys are thinking!　Enough of your bullshit!　I don't have one corner, for sure!　But I'm still stronger than you guys!　While you guys were sitting on your two horns, you were overtaken by me, who was looking down on you!　How could I be so insecure about these people who are weaker than me!

...... Yeah. That's the real Dionysus, isn't it?

'Ha!　Oh, yeah. This is the real me. I'm fooling all of you who pity me and look down on me, and I'm looking down on the opposite!　What do you think, Sherley? Everything you've seen of me is a lie!　You're in shock, eh?

I rolled it up and asked for Shirley's reaction.

If it was all a lie, how did this woman feel about it?

That's what I wanted to know.

'Sure, I was a bit surprised. But I like Dionysus now too.

--Suki?

Do you like to have a spare moment?

What the hell?　That's not a nice thing to say.

Don't be silly, my gut churned.

How far do I have to go to mock you to make you feel better, my vision turns red with rage.

'Don't you dare look down on me, Shirley!

I can't stop myself now.

I can blurt out all the true nature that I've been hiding.

'You're always like that!　You think you can mock me and pity me and disrespect me because I'm a lackey!　You think you love me so much that you were born with this body?　I wanted to have two horns!　I wish I could have had that, which you guys take for granted!　But I can't help it!　I'm not going to get another horn, no matter what I do!　So I'm going to be stronger than anyone else. And I'm going to confront you guys with the fact that I'm inferior to even those who are lacking horns!

'I'm not looking down on you!'

Yeah?

They don't look down on Dionysus.

What are you talking about, man?

Doesn't anyone look down on me?

I don't think so.

What the hell do you know, huh?　I know things!　You come here all the time to look down on me as I work out in my sweat, don't you?　You think it's hilarious that I'm the lackey and that I'm trying to be something I'm not?

”No!

It's not the same!　Then why do you always come to this place to see me?

That's because I--

I hear a voice.

'- Oh, you don't even know you're being disrespected, do you?

Everyone looks down on me.

Everyone thinks you're stupid.

Even Charley has looked down on me.

I can hear the voices.

I hear voices. I hear voices. I hear voices. I hear voices ----

''--Because I like Dionysus, you know!

A roar, which drowned out the resounding voice.