17 ??Dammit?? (1/2)

ZAYN

I could see I had said something that upset her. Well, it seemed like whatever I said upset her but this time something was different. There was this raw sadness in her eyes that I had seen glimpses of before but never in such sweltering intensity.

It made me wonder what could've been so horrible that Leia—the strongest girl I knew—not only didn't feel like sharing but was also aggrieved.

So, I decided to change the subject.

”Were you in the UK?”

That wasn't exactly subject changing but whatever. It wasn't like I'd talk about myself. Pfft. That would be . . . weird.

There was a time she'd get my secrets flowing out of my mouth without me even thinking. But now things were different. I'd be a fool not to see how different she was. I was more or less the same but Leia had changed drastically.

”Yeah.” She didn't elaborate and I decided not to push her further.

”So, you've been masking your accent this whole time?”

”Mmm,”

”What mmm? Are you really not going to tell me anything?” So much for not pushing her.

”I don't owe you an explanation, Zayn. Plus, you clearly have too many questions and many of them I just can't answer.” Her eyes met mine and I saw the weight of her words in those chocolaty irises. ”You're a non-mahram.”

It was the last part that had me raising my eyebrows. ”What, so you won't even talk to me now? Look, I respect the fact that you cover yourself and have somehow gotten religious but you can't just . . . forget about us.”

”There is no us,” She whispered, breaking my already splintered heart. ”There never was.”

I gripped the steering wheel tighter, trying to shove down my emotions. But, like always, it seemed like my heart found a way to connect with Leia's and when it was broken by her, I felt overcome with a floodtide of feelings I had no time or energy for.

”We were friends,” I managed to get out past the tightness in my throat. ”Or are you going to deny that too?”

Her head snapped towards me. ”Yes, Zayn. We were friends. But now you and I—we're grown up. I'm sure you don't need me to elaborate.”

Dammit, she made a fair point.

I knew she'd never let me in—not with the way she was now. As much as I was heartbroken with her earlier declaration, I was also glad. I didn't want to win her over for some useless bet. If anything happened—when it happened—I wanted it to be real.

In fact, I was going to put aside my ego and tell Anas I couldn't do this. I'd lose. Until now, I hadn't been sure if this version of Leia was worth it. But today, I saw something in her. This was my Leia, for God's sake. Of course, she was worth this and much more. I'd lose for her within the blink of an eye.

God, I sounded like a love-sick puppy.

But I was done playing it cool.

I was done pretending I was angry at her. Done with the fact that I betted just as an excuse to be closer to her, to prove to myself that it meant nothing but winning a car.