39 Chapter 39. They have a letter (1/2)

At the Prince's chambers:

Evan barged into his chambers and immediately kicked the small table that was towards his right. The anger that was rising inside was immense. He closed his eyes and tried to calm his breath down. His chest was heaving dangerously, like he was having some breathing problem.

Even though, he was trying to calm the anger was bubbling in his chest. It was like there was a literal burning inside his chest. He snapped his eyes open and glared at the wall in front of him. He marched towards his bed and sat down on the soft mattress, hoping that its softness and comfort can calm him down.

He slowly started to relax and closed his eyes. His heart was still thudding against his rib cage wildly and the burning sensation was still there. So, he tried to divert himself from his heart and focus on his mind. Well, that proved to be a mistake. His thoughts were racing around and were all over the place.

He was feeling guilt along with anger. How can he not? He didnt do his job right. He had one thing to do and he chose his own happiness over his duty. He blamed himself for all this. Not anyone but, himself. There were many ways this could have gone right.

When Peter came up to him, he should have left then. Telling Aeinshia that he had to attend to duty. He was sure that she would have understood. He could be just a bit early in this, then he would have caught on to this easily. He didn't know why he was being this agitated over something like this but, his mind was constantly blaming him for not being early.

Now, he felt like he couldn't fulfill both sides. Its stupid to think that way, but, Evan couldn't help himself from doing it. These were the insecurities he was afraid of. He was just too insecure and over thinks a lot. This is the reason why he pushes people out of his life.

For everyone, this may seem not like a big deal. He was a prince, he could do anything. But, everyone forgets that he was also a human with human feelings, with lot of insecurities. As a child, he would hear many prejudices from the people he saw. Princes and Emperors should be tough and should keep their emotions and feelings in check.

Growing up, he found it hard to adapt with people. He didnt like the way they judged him. So, he decided to change as people wanted to see him. Cold and emotionless. It wasn't hard for him, seeing that he wasn't so interested in mingling with people. But, as the time went by, he slowly started drifting off from his loved ones. He loved his father, mother, Aeinshia and her family a lot. After his mother's death, he started talking less. His mother was the only one, who could understand him without him saying anything. And the Empress' death has had a huge effect on the little prince.

The result being, the current version of Evan. Now, no one expect Peter understood him fully.

An image of smiling Aeinshia popped up admist his racing thoughts. He unconsciously smiled at that. What would he do to see that smile on her. He wanted to see her happy and smiling. But, suddenly a small voice in his head was nagging him to focus on the current situation. So, he took a deep breath and organized his thoughts.

Right, he already wasted a lot of time and he was not going to commit the same mistake now. The woman, who came as a replacement was certainly the murderer of the Marques. And, she would have certainly escaped by now. He frowned as he mentally went over all the clues and leads they got. Finally, his face set into his signature neutral expression and eyes narrowed.