268 She is not their personal baker (1/2)
One hand was still holding the steering wheel, another reached to the passenger seat at the back for a box of tissue. With his mother was back in town, he needed to prepare whatever needed in the car just in case the emotional woman burst into tears while in the car.
All the cars belonged to the family have everything needed.
He handed the tissue to her and she murmured her thanks. Then, she used the tissue to dry her tears silently.
There was no need for any word. They understood each other.
Jeremy focused on his driving while Ryn worked herself to stop the tears.
Half an hour later, he found a fast food restaurant and went through the drive-through to buy something for them. He needed the coffee and he knew she would want to. And he also knew she wanted to eat some meats. He ordered on behalf of the two of them and Ryn did not argue when she heard the food and drink for her. They did not have to wait long because not many vehicles were waiting for their meals. Soon enough they went back into the highway with Ryn enjoying her sesame chicken wrap.
They spent another three hours on the road before they stopped again for lunch. This time Ryn suggested for them to find a restaurant to eat. He could stretch his legs too, she pointed out. She knew how tiring driving for hours but she could not help him. She did not have a driving licence and most importantly, she did not know how to drive!
They spent almost an hour there. They not only have their lunch but also discussed about… their feeling. Jeremy knew this was the only chance for them to speak and later it would be hard for him to have alone time with her.
”Why do we have to talk about this?” she asked awkwardly. She did not know what to say when he suddenly asked her how she felt about them. They were supposed to walk around the park to digest the food, not sitting on the stone bench, under the willow tree and talked about their feeling. She was not ready for this!
”Why not?” he asked stubbornly. His heart was pounding hard. Even his hands were sweating. He was nervous to know her answer.
”I'm… not sure…” she mumbled.
”Excuse me?” he couldn't hear her voice clearly. Did she just say no to him?
She mumbled something under her breath and again he did not catch it. His face changed into sadness.
”Am I that hateful for you? Is it so hard for me to get your forgiveness?” he asked sadly.
”You… you are kind. You are not hateful but I…” she paused.
”But what?”
”I just… I don't know how I want us to be… I… I'm comfortable with us like this,” she mumbled.
”Why don't you… Ryn~”
She ran her eyes from looking at him. She was stuck in the middle between her desire to forget everything but at the same time her longing for his love. She knew she was still in love with him. The love never died. It was deep inside her heart. But she was scared to get hurt again.
”I know I did not give much reassurance about our relationship at that time but you know the one I love is you. Only you,” he grasped her hands desperately. His nervousness was getting lesser when she did not pull them back. He still had the chance!
She could feel the warmth from his big hands seeping through her hands. Her heart pounded but she refused to say a word.
”You're hurt because of my stupid ego and it was too late for me to realize it. But, love, I really do want to… please look at me. Don't avoid me,” he begged.
She finally looked at him but her eyes were wet. There was no tear but he knew he touched her emotion.
”You said you're giving me a chance to woo you. I just hope you give yourself to feel love again,” he continued, carefully choosing his words.
”I did…” she finally choked out, closing her eyes. But she did not give herself a chance for love. She was scared. Even her mother and Andy said the same. The trauma from her heartbroken built a thick wall around her heart, protecting her from any hurt.