Chapter 194 (1/2)

Chapter 194: Chapter 194

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His last question struck down my ears sharply. I closed my eyes and opened them back. The fluorescent light above my head seemed to fade and brighten again.

‘Weird,’ I said to myself. When Jooin spoke like that, the things that had happened clearly got rearranged one after another and went by my sight. My heart throbbed at the same time.

Frankly speaking, I, of course, wasn’t okay yet at all.

Just by a few weeks, the happening wouldn’t be forgotten as if nothing had happened. The wounds engraved by them were left as pale scars on my heart.

Ignoring those bruises, I raised my head to look at Jooin.

“Are you mad at me?” I asked him.

Jooin then looked as if he was smashed on the back of his head. Regardless of his reaction, I continued my words nonchalantly.

“I wasn’t trying to toss the question to you. It’s just that… I want to know how you feel right now.”

“…”

“Are you mad at me? Or are you mad at them? Which side are you? I’m just curious… that’s all.”

I wanted to hear Jooin’s response so that I could get more familiar with his character right now. He was, however, still dropping his blank gaze at me at a loss of words. He then put a faint smile. His dry flat reply went after.

“Which side am I? Well, yeah… I’m angry and annoyed at them that if I could, I want to get rid of them to somewhere else. And you…”

With a pause, Jooin heaved a short sigh.

“Mama… you scare me when you’re like that.”

I lifted my eyes and directed them on him. Jooin continued his remark yet with a feeble smile.

“For real, it’s scary. Back then, when you forgave Choi Yuri as well as this time too. If you were out of strength that you decided to endure what happened, I would’ve not been this frightening. Those who are frail would, instead, turn the guilt arrow to themselves and persuade that they deserve the pain. You, mama, however, aren’t something like that either.”

“…”

“If you asked, at least, either me or Jiho… no, not even us. If you asked Yeo Ryung or Eun Hyung, they could’ve easily changed the public opinion into something positive to you. You knew that it wasn’t a difficult thing for us to resolve the Choi Yuri incident. Mama, it’s been over three years. You’ve gone through as much as you could about what we can do and will do for you. Three-years is such enough time for you to realize that, isn’t it?”

Biting my lips tightly but not avoiding his gaze, I listened to Jooin’s words in silence.

He finally finished his remark and fetched a deep sigh. He then took a step forward me which was as close as his body casting a shadow over my face. His murmur clearly reached my ears.

“Mama wouldn’t understand a person like me, who doesn’t know what forgiveness is.”

“…”

“I tried to spread rumors about Choi Yuri to the school she transferred to, but I refused to do so because you would hate that.”

Until now, I just heard what he said with nonchalance; however, my eyes opened wide when he talked about spreading rumors about Choi Yuri. I looked up at him in surprise, and at the same time, he put a crooked smile on his face.

Our eyes met in the air. A deafening silence swept the space. None of us tried to avoid each other’s gaze. The fluorescent lamp above our heads still shed sharp light on us. Everything remained still except the speckle of dust fluttering around.