256 End of the Maid’s Day (2/2)

The moment he saw her leave the courtyard, he went back to his room, sat at his desk, and stared down at the table.

Something was really wrong with him.

He told her that confession as a test. That was all it was. There were no feelings attached, no underlying meaning behind it. It was hilarious seeing her reaction as well, though Zixu did his best to not burst out in laughter.

Yet now, once everything had long been said and done, he was finally beginning to think about his words. Most of all, he thought about a single moment with her, pressed into his mind. It was a simple one, where she was just absorbed with petting Mimi.

And in that moment, Zixu wasn't sure why, but she suddenly seemed different to him.

Maybe it was the fact that she seemed to love Mimi as much as he did. Maybe it was the lighting, with the warm, orange sunlight framing her expression. Maybe it was the way she smiled so brilliantly, comfortably, and genuinely— not at all a smile that was forced.

When he arrived at that last thought, Zixu realized that this was it.

It was her smile.

Thinking about the image of her smile right now, he realized that he was grinning himself. It was a smile that was spread wide across his face, unlike his usual, reserved one. He couldn't wipe it off either, no matter how hard he tried, just like how he couldn't get her off his mind.

As he grinned, almost laughing at how ridiculous this all was, he leaned forward and buried his face with his hands.

What were these feelings going through him, right now?

It wasn't like anything he had ever felt before. It couldn't be compared to the love he felt for his family. It couldn't be compared to the affection he felt for Mimi. It couldn't be compared to the few true friendships he had kept in the past.

It was a foreign feeling. It was terrifying, but at the same time, thrilling. Exhilarating.

Above all, he couldn't stop thinking about her. Even after she left, even after he had much better things to do, even after he did everything he could to distract his thoughts, she was the only person on his mind. He began to recall so many things that occurred between the two of them in the past, from drinking together, to painting with her, to helping her out, to all those countless conversations between them in the past. At the same time, he began to wonder if he started to see her differently only because of that one smile, during that one fragment of time— or, if from the start, from all those interactions between them, he had been falling into these spiraling emotions, deeper and deeper.

Could it be that only just now, he actually started to realize his true feelings? That he, Yu Zixu, someone who prided himself over his observation skills and his ability to notice things about people, couldn't even notice these growing feelings within himself?

He wanted to say that this was nonsense. Yet painfully— tragically— he knew perfectly well that it was likely the truth.

While he debated all these things in his mind, the events of the day kept replaying, and he mulled over the tiniest of details.

He began to regret that confession.

It was just supposed to be a test. None of it was supposed to be factual. None of it was supposed to spiral into the current emotions he had rushing through himself.

He wondered if he chose a different final test, he wouldn't be feeling these things right now. But then, he realized that he was destined to fail.

Yu Zixu arrived at the conclusion that he had fallen in love, for the first time in the twenty-two years of his life, with Yang Yujia— and all because of her smile.

Lastly, he was not happy with this conclusion, at all.