Chapter 224 - Sol Three Hundred and Thirty-Three, Eve (1/2)

Chapter 224: Sol Three Hundred and Thirty-Three, Eve

That night.

Tang Yue lay in bed, clinging tightly to his blanket with only his head peeking out. The rotation of the fan blades produced a soft hum that sounded like a mosquito. The temperature in the living quarters was maintained at 20°C, but the temperature outside had already dropped to –60°C.

There was a pale yellow light seeping in through the gap of the curtains. Tomcat wasn’t resting yet. It was still making preparations and packing for tomorrow’s expedition. Tang Yue listened to the familiar noises. Tomcat was rolling up maps. With the Mars Wanderer heavily damaged, it didn’t have a single intact monitor. They had no choice but to use paper maps.

Tang Yue looked at the tiny lights on the ground. They seemed to jog memories of his youth. When he returned home during summer break, he would live in his old bricked house. Every night, the young him would lie in bed wrapped in blankets. The warm light would seep in through the gaps in the door and occasionally his grandparents would tiptoe over to cover him. Whenever that happened, he would immediately close his eyes to feign sleep, opening them again when the elderly person had gone.

He didn’t know why he would recall these. The old house had already been demolished, and his grandparents had passed away when he was in college. Now, even Earth was gone. No one was around to prove that they had once existed. All of that only existed in Tang Yue’s memories.

Tang Yue repeatedly ruminated over these memories that ran from childhood to adulthood. It went from the television and ice popsicles he had at his old house in the village to the time he was training in Lop Nur with Old Wang at Jiuquan Satellite Launch Center. He tried hard to confirm each and every detail—the opening theme to Young Justice Bao that was replayed year after year, the words on the paper used to wrap the ice popsicle, Old Wang rummaging through his backpack beside the bonfire only to take out two secretly stashed Qingdao beer.

Tang Yue was afraid that he would one day forget these people.

Unfortunately, memories were the hardest thing in the world to solidify. One could try hard to mold them into the image of someone, and no matter how lifelike it was with each strand of hair defined and clear, they would still slowly lose their definition like sand. Eventually, all that was left was a smooth, featureless blob. Even if one stared at it all day, nothing could be gleaned from it.

Tang Yue closed his eyes, whispering, “Are you still there?”

There was silence.

A cup of water was placed beside Tang Yue’s bed. Beside it was a wooden frame with a picture inside. It was a group picture of the astronauts of Orion I before they set off from Jiuquan Satellite Launch Center. Commander Old Wang and Thomp stood in the middle at the back. To their sides were Old Zheng and Max. Tang Yue and Mai Dong were crouched in front, with all six of them holding each other by the shoulders smiling. The girl had one hand holding down the hair at her ear due to the strong winds. Old Wang’s eyes were squinted due to sand. He bared his teeth and was just about to curse, but before he could break out into expletives, the camera had fixed that moment forever.

In the distance was the huge launchpad under the blue, sunny skies. The manned spacecraft was still being assembled.

On the floor beside the bed was a pair of slippers. In the corner of the room was a plastic trash can. Hanging on the wall were pants, shirts, and empty hangers. Tang Yue’s room was very simple. He didn’t have much he needed to take with him.

“Tomcat?” Tang Yue pulled out his arm from under his blanket, using it as a pillow for his head.

“I’m here.” A cat’s head peeped in through the curtains. “Why aren’t you sleeping? We will be setting off early tomorrow morning.”

“I can’t sleep,” Tang Yue said.

“Nervous?”

Tang Yue shook his head.

“Anxious?”

Tang Yue shook his head.

“Terrified?”

Tang Yue continued shaking his head as he looked at his hand. “Do you know that human emotions are built on the fact that one is alive? Only with life will there be emotions… But I’m no longer able to find the reality of life for myself. At times, I suspect I’ve become a puppet who doesn’t sense or know anything. I don’t feel any temperature when I touch myself. Compared to you, I’m more like a robot…”

“Don’t doubt yourself.”

Tang Yue was stunned.

“Don’t doubt yourself,” Tomcat repeated. It walked over to hold Tang Yue’s hand. The paw’s meaty part was pressed against his palm. “Look, how is there no temperature? Never ever doubt the value and meaning to your existence, no matter how dire the situation is. Even if no one in the entire world admits it any further, even if there’s no witness or recording of it, you have to firmly believe that your life is the most precious thing in the Universe… You have to believe that you are unique in all of the Universe. You can live on. You have to live on.”

Tang Yue slowly nodded.

“Whenever you encounter an uncrossable chasm, tell yourself that.” Tomcat smiled. “It’s because in this world, no one else will believe in you except yourself.”