327 This Life of Mine (1/2)
Fang Zhao stayed at the retirement facility and accompanied the two elder Fangs as they watched the series. He shared with them some interesting anecdotes that had happened while filming. He also helped take care of the little cultivation plot that they had rented.
After meals, Fang Zhao would be dragged along by Great-Grandfather Fang to go for a walk. They would walk through the garden. Whenever any of the other old veterans of the retirement facility saw Great-Grandfather Fang approaching from far, they avoided him.
Today, after a meal, the two old Fangs were keeping watch in front of the screen. It was finally the episode where Fang Zhao received his bento box. The two old folks staring at the screen seemed to be in an extremely grave mood.
Fang Zhao also maintained his silence.
In this episode, Fang Zhao perished following the chaotic aftermath of an earthquake that caught everyone off guard.
Actually, at that time, given his status, he could have protected himself and safely left the war zone. But he had chosen not to do so.
At that time, he had known that he didn't have long left, and he had also been tired.
Mutual suspicions and deception, bloodied storms, and the cumulative injuries and pains after every battle—every day, his mental state had been strained to the point that it had been as tight as a steel wire. After arranging things, he had chosen to stay behind and meet the enemy head-on. He'd had some regrets about not ever getting to see the beginning of the Founding Era. He had lost to his injuries and lost to time, but a loss was a loss. After thinking and getting over it, he no longer had many complaints.
He had only been able to bring everyone to this point, but he had believed that his successor would lead everyone to their destination. Before he'd died, he had been in a peaceful state of mind. In the series, he had also acted this way.
Many people in the cast and crew felt that he'd been worried about the Wu family and had followed the directorial team and scriptwriter's suggestions and acted this way, but that wasn't the case.
The accompaniment music where he perished in battle had been composed by someone else. It was a mournful tune full of choking sorrow. Although it had a heroic meaning, it was still thick with emotions. Just the tune alone was very good; otherwise, it wouldn't have been selected.
However, from the audience's point of view, the sorrow wasn't that intense. It wasn't that the acting was substandard or that the accompaniment piece wasn't good but rather that everyone had already been prepared. It was all laid out in history. Before filming even started, everyone knew the ending.
From the start of ”Founding Era” till now, many important characters had already received their bento boxes. Many accompaniment pieces that were offered as scriptures had appeared. The audience had already seen a lot and listened to a lot. At most, they would only feel emotional for the great people that perished in battle and feel these people's regret.
On a certain film-discussion forum.
”Oh dear, even if I'm unwilling to see it, we have reached this episode.”
”Old Commander Fang, you have worked hard!”
”It feels like I have lost an old friend that has accompanied me for so long. Even though I knew what the ending would be, I thought it would be all right as long as we recall him fondly, but now, at this time, I still feel very sad.”
”Did Old Fang die with regrets? A pity, what a pity! If he had been able to endure for another year, even if he couldn't have been the governor, the number one spot in Yanzhou's cemetery would not have run away.”
Watching the ending of this great person in Yanzhou history, many people called into question his cause of death in historical records.
He had already had such a high rank as being commander of the corps. Not mentioning his individual importance, why hadn't even more people stayed at his side and protected him? Was reality really like what the series portrayed? Had Fang Zhao given the order himself not to let anyone protect him? Had he really made the decision to stay behind and fight to the death?
”Old Fang's ending is really the same as what is recorded in history books, but is the stuff recorded in them really true? Or were there unspeakable things that were deliberately concealed?”
”Does the brother on top mean that Old Fang was actually killed? But because it involves certain secrets, it cannot be revealed in public?”
”A power struggle, aren't all people like this? When hope cannot be seen, anyone would want someone at the front to shield them. When finally people get out of their predicament and see the benefits not too far ahead, their thoughts will no longer be the same.”
”I don't think that's the case. Old Fang had already arranged his successor. He knew early on that he would not be able to last till the end, and he did not want many others to trade his life for him. Why not die in battle instead?”
On many film forums discussing topics related to ”Founding Era,” more and more people were using ”Old Fang” for Founding Era's Fang Zhao.
Many people did not believe Fang Zhao's cause of death and did not believe the ”ordinary” death he'd had. Thus, they were inclined to make guesses as to whether there had been any hidden conspiracies or assassinations.
Regardless of whether the audiences acknowledged Fang Zhao's cause of death, the ”Founding Era” series had been filmed like this, and Fang Zhao himself had willingly acted this way. Although reality hadn't been entirely like what was shown in the show, the two were largely the same. The heroic and profound way he'd died a martyr was a little exaggerated. Compared to others, his death couldn't be considered bitter. At least he still had an entire corpse.
History had drowned out a lot of truths. The truth might be much more complex than everyone thought, or it could be much simpler.
Actually, the truth was just as the historical records said. But it had been simplified to just a few sentences.
Just like other, more important characters that perished, at the end of the episode, a grave number was shown followed by a flashback reel showing images of this character as he journeyed through different times.
However, Fang Zhao's focus wasn't on this. All those before had been acting according to other people's requirements in the script. The three-minute accompaniment piece at the end of this episode was what he really wanted to tell everyone.
Gentle orchestra music carrying a sense of thickset mood, apparently like a gale of wind originating from a high mountain. Flitting across the cold snowlands and desolate wilderness, passing through serene forests, through the quiet, long night, and pushing past the patter of spring rain and penetrating the thorny and rugged undergrowth of life.
The sound of a trumpet was like a fierce breeze streaking across the ears. Within the wind, it seemed like there was someone unhurriedly trying to say something.
Along the gradually forceful bugle cries and layered notes of a zither, that gale of wind seemed to climb hills full of green, break through the murky daybreak, fly past the clouds, and then slowly meet light...
In front of the screen, Fang Zhao had a relieved smile in his eyes.
In ”Founding Era,” all other music concerning this Fang Zhao had been expressed by other composer's sentiments. What Fang Zhao himself wished to tell everyone was in these last three and a half minutes.
A long, long time ago, when the world was still peaceful, I once thought that when I grew old, with white and grey on my temples, I would be watching flowers bloom in front of my lawn or I would have friends and family by my side making light chat over creative works and watching time pass by.
Unfortunately, what came were hails of bullets, smoke and explosions, and danger and difficulties. What we faced were destruction and ruins, broken limbs, seas of blood, and mountains of corpses.
During that time period, the gods that people believed in never showed mercy. Fate was already fixed, so how could we struggle?
I wasn't born brave.
In this life of mine, I was once bewildered and lost. I once abandoned myself to despair. But finally, in this bloody purgatory, I woke up.
Under the apocalypse, defying the natural order and fighting. Puerile people would ultimately end up as cannon fodder. The world was a battlefield. The battlefield was how us people who existed during the Period of Destruction saw and experienced the world.
Anguished wailing, rallying cries. Exhausted till we became numb, in our eyes, innocence completely faded away. There was no path of retreat, only advancing forward. Attack, counterattack, again and again.
People who existed during the Period of Destruction would always be pushed along by fate.
In our darkness and despair, we found a path. We hoped that the end point we pursued would be bright and warm, hoped that we could endure till the day we could see sunlight break through the clouds and shine down.
Fortunately, the path we walked was the right one.
In this life of mine, I was once ordinary, and I was also once splendid.
I have walked through ruins, grasslands, snow-capped mountains, and forests. My footprints can be found throughout Yanzhou.
I have gone through the cruelest times and experienced the difficulty of fighting against fate. I have gone through the uninhibited ups and downs of life, experienced great joy and sorrow, and arrived at the pinnacle of life.
Ultimately, everything returns to silence.
All the unyielding sorrow, all the extraordinary iron blood has passed. All hardships and difficulty and joy and happiness have been diluted by time. In the end, the complete chaos was dissolved inside history.