168 TINGED WITH GRIEF (1/2)
When Hu Lei fell asleep after a long and exciting day, the nightmares came with a frightful intensity. She rarely had dreamless rest. However, this time, it was completely overwhelming with images overlapping and forming a hellish montage.
Her mind drifted from her capture when she was eight years old to her time in Antarctica. The grotesque images of the children who had been with her then but had died combined with those of the deformed experimental subjects in that lab.
And then, she could hear her father calling, calling… He was covered in blood, and his bloodless lips were moving, whispering to her inaudible words. His vacant eyes seemed to pierce through her soul, causing her blood to be completely chilled.
She felt completely trapped, held hostage by the phantoms in her mind. She could not breathe. She was drowning, drowning…
”Xiao Lei, wake up.”
Hu Lei heard the voice in the deep recesses of her dreams. However, she could not shake the ghosts that held her, unwilling to relinquish her to the land of the living. She tried to fight and reach to the voice. She wanted to call out, but everything seemed paralysed.
”It is okay, Xiao Lei. I am here.” That comforting voice spoke again.
Slowly, Hu Lei recalled that sound. And then she remembered him. She felt like he was reaching out to her and pulling her out of the mire. He had been there when she had been lost and wandering. He had been there when she had been at death's door.
Her mind began to clear up, and she opened her eyes. At her side, Zhong Feng was looking at her with concern and worry. Hu Lei threw her arms around him and hugged him tightly. She wanted to sob because she was afraid, so very afraid. However, she did not. It would not help her. It would not heal her.
All she could do was hold on in this moment. She would enjoy this warmth and the love he gave while she still had a mind sound enough to realise how lucky she was to have him. She rubbed her cheek against his bare chest while tightening her grip.
”Did you have another bad dream?” Zhong Feng asked while putting his arms around her, almost placing her entire body on his.
She nodded but did not say anything more. After a while, she spoke up.
”Ah-Feng, do you think that I am selfish? I got married to you even if I am like this.” She asked in a small voice.
Zhong Feng rubbed her fragile back gently. He wondered if he had been wrong by taking her out for the day. It had been a while since she had had this type of episode.
”Mmmh, you are selfish. I couldn't be happier about it.” He responded while kissing her head.
”I am being serious.” She pinched his waist a little, but a small smile appeared up on her face.
”I am serious too. I am happy that you chose to be selfish and be with me in spite of everything. I want you to keep being selfish and hold on to me forever. And I will do the same. I will never let you go.” His words were spoken gently as he held her close.