100 99. The determination that Aikawa Whirlpool got.txt (2/2)

”Reaper, if that 'murderous impulse' is suffering--

”It's okay, brother. I'll take care of this one.

Before he could finish, the Reaper refused.

His expression was pregnant with a complex mix of emotions.

I want help, but I can't want it. I want answers, but I can't ask for them. It's a look that contains so many conflicting things.

From the Reaper's point of view, I guess I look like I'm 'making a mistake in my wishes'. I myself have admitted that thinly.

I'm not going to be able to tell you what to do about it, but I'm going to tell you to do something about yourself first. And maybe it's also the fact that you can't trust 'me who makes mistakes'.

...... okay.

I nod, biting my teeth.

Then I shift my gaze slightly and turn my attention to the 'bangles'.

It's a problem I've been running from for a long time.

I've tried not to think about it, even though I'm convinced it's the cause of my mistake. I've been putting it off to the limit.

The little girl in front of me was facing her own problems, but I wasn't.

Then I remembered the words of the Reaper.

'Don't mess with your destiny', 'Don't allow lies', 'Don't make a mistake in your wishes'.

They seeped into my mind as if they were my own words.

I thought they were more like me than any of my own words at the moment.

It confirms a guess.

The conjecture I've been thinking about in the corner of my head starts to come true, and I have to think about the cause and the root of it. Before I knew it, I was sitting next to the Reaper in contemplation.

My gaze naturally turns to the party below.

In the gaps between parallel thoughts, I catch Rowen at the edge of my vision. Seeing the situation, I spill the words.

'There ......, the kids Rowen was teaching the sword to when we got here .......

Rowen was surrounded by many people.

Further away, the children looked troubled.

'Yes, you're there,'

Reaper replied with a blank look on her face.

She seemed to be pondering something as much as I was.

I kept spilling the words.

'Rowen's surrounded by so many different people that she can't get to: ......

Yes.

Surrounded by adults, the children have been unable to talk to Rowen even if they wanted to.

'I don't know if Rowen can see the kids: ......

Maybe I'm in the wrong place.

The sight seemed to be the answer to everything.

And then I realized.

No, I didn't notice. The Reaper told me. No, maybe it wasn't even that. If I'm guessing right, then it was me who told me.

I steal a look at the Reaper's face next to me.

He looks distressed.

But it's also my expression.

The Reaper is telling me what I'm really feeling.

So I'll follow the Reaper's example.

”The Leaper ....... I'll try to 'make no mistake about my wishes' too .......

The Reaper nodded slowly when he heard that.

He looked a little happy.

I'll face my problem.

I couldn't put it off anymore. I shouldn't have done it. And I already knew the solution to the problem, the action I should take, and my answer. I probably knew it all along.

Every cell in my body had been screaming from the moment I woke up that morning at the Epic Seeker headquarters.

But I ignored it. I pretended not to notice it.

--I pretended not to notice it - because I was comfortable there. I was so happy.

The fact that the ”sister named Maria” was there was what kept me together.

That impeccable time had made me give up any doubt.

--because it was the easiest (...) to do so. Because there was even the promise of 'glory' beyond that.

But it was a sham.

I looked at Snow, and then I looked at Rowen and realized that wasn't what was important.

And then I looked at the Reapers and realized what really mattered, too.

Everything was a chain that would take away my freedom. Chains that I would compromise in such a situation, and that's how I saw it, and the chains that were prepared for me.

And it was probably Palinclone Legacy that prepared it: .......

I'm not sure, but I'm sure that guy is my enemy.

--I was afraid of breaking it.

Perhaps it's not so much my sister's name that's different.

According to Reil-san's story, my past memories are 'unhappy'. I'm sure you'll be able to find out more about this in the future.

I'm sure it is.

I knew what that 'misery' was from the moment I heard it.

-- and admitting it would be the end of it.

I just didn't want to believe it.

My priority is 'sister' above my own life. If you include that, there's only one answer to 'misfortune'.

I'm not going to be the only one.

--I'm not going to be able to get the best out of it.

That's the answer. There is no other answer.

The girl named Maria is not my sister.

I face the answer I've been turning away from, and I feel a terrible nausea.

My stomach turns over and my heart tries to crawl out of my throat.

If it's true, then I can't be doing this.

I have to go and save my sister right now.

If the wish that I thought had come true is not really coming true, then I have to make it come true, even if I have to pay with my life.

I have to make my sister happy, even if it means using my life (・・・・・・・).

Fortunately, due to my lack of memory, I have little sense of urgency and danger. I can afford to be calm and choose my means.

However, my determination to get the truth back has become a certainty.

I must break the 'bracelet' and confirm its authenticity. Absolutely.

I get a dizzy feeling as if my upper and lower parts are being swapped out, and I feel an intense chill.

The fact that something more important than life is just out of reach is painful.

--The only thing that hurts is the pain.

However, there is no way to escape that pain.

It's the same for the Reaper sitting next to her. I'm sure you'll be able to find a way to make the most of it.

I can't run away from the Reaper, who is younger than me, when she hasn't run away.

The Reaper next to me notices something wrong with me and turns his attention to me.

But I laugh, trying to be skinny and laugh. I try to smile as much as the Reaper does.

Now we are finally equals. I'm sorry, but I don't have time to think about the Reaper anymore. I can't afford to be bothered with anything else.

I can only think desperately of ways to solve my problems.

And I'm sure the same is true for the Reaper.

That's why she didn't take me at my word earlier. There was no way she could afford it.

I regret my shallowness, thinking so desperately that my brain melts from the heat.

I had to fix this for the sake of the Reaper, and I had to do it quickly. That way I can help the Reapers. And maybe I can really help Snow, and maybe Rowen, too.

I continue to watch the party and the night sky with the Reaper.

The guest of honor had disappeared and the banquet below was in a hurry, but I left it all behind and continued to think on the roof.

I continued to think about what I really needed to do, along with the Reaper.

--At the end of the banquet, Snow and Rowen complained, but it didn't enter my mind.