56 55. Seven Knights in Heaven Second Place Hein Hellville Shine.txt (2/2)

'Rastiara ....... Your name is Rastiara Fouzeyars.

I give you a name that can no longer be described as a curse.

'Rastiara ....... I am Rastiara .......

Her cheeks turn a little red and the girl happily repeats the name.

I dismiss it as work and proceed with the conversation.

'...... Nice to meet you, Rastiara. Oh, no, do I have to call you Rastiara-sama?　You're a god of the present person ....... Then you'd have to use respectful language, too: ....... Anyway, sweetheart. I'm Hein, who will be your instructor from today. If there's anything you don't understand, you can ask me anything.

I will only give the girl the information she needs.

'All right, Mr Hine.

The girl smiled and agreed.

Then she ponders for a bit, looks at me and asks me curiously.

'Mr. Hein, I need to ask you something quickly.

What is it?

At the very least, I was going to answer as best I could.

So I asked back gently.

'Why do you look so sad (・・・・)?'

But you quickly realize that it's impossible to be ”as nice” and ”as possible” as that.

Or is it sad?

Yes, sir.

Quickly I put my hands to my face.

I trace my fingers over my mouth, my nose, my cheeks, my eyes, and I realize that my face is twisted.

I understand, but I can't admit it.

I didn't need it for my work.

'It couldn't be ....... Now I'm smiling. Of course I'm smiling gently. You're wrong, .......

...... Yeah, what is it?

The girl repeats in hearty wonder.

She must be baffled by the information given by the blood, which is at odds with common sense.

Still, I insist.

'Oh, you're mistaken.'

I have no pity for the girl.

I have no sympathy or empathy for her. I shouldn't be .......

That's what I thought at the time.

Indeed, I decided to do so .......

.............

When I decided to do so, I must have decided my path at the same time.

-- I will never be a girl's knight for the rest of my life.

This was the moment when I admitted that to myself.

If I could start my life over just once, I would go back to this moment.

I want to go back and do it all over again.

Even if the title of ”Celestial Knights” was a grand title, even if everyone hailed me as a great knight, I would still want to erase the moment I realized that I was a coward who would never save a girl.

-- and shortly thereafter, I fall in love with this innocent girl.

But it's all too late.

By the time I fell in love and wanted to be her knight, I was no longer qualified.

Because I had thrown myself away.

The role of helping her.

The role of a hero for her.

And I had earned it. The role of a dirty villain who only deceives the heroine with falsehoods.

That foolish villain would continue to be irreversible.

Because otherwise, he couldn't be there for her.

If he tried to help her, he would find out that he was a dirty villain. If she found out, she would surely be disillusioned with me for continuing to lie with a smile plastered on my face. I was afraid of that, and I couldn't help it.

Not only that.

I'm afraid of turning my country against me.

I'm afraid of losing my current position.

I'm afraid of failing my family.

Hoozeyars, Helvirshine, the Seven Celestial Knights - my father, my mother, my siblings, my friends - everything dulls me down.

It's easy.

I can't even be a martyr in love.

I was just a miserable man.

I can only do one thing like that.

To make the girl a perfect 'Las Tiara' with happiness, without making her suffer.

To make the saint Tiara an ideal, to make her want to be a hero, to make her feel happy to save her country. That is the perfect 'Rastiara'. That's all I have left - that's all I can do for her.

That will make the girl happy .......

That's the only way the girl can end up happy.......

.............

I kept piling on the excuses that I was going to be able to do this.

That's not good enough, and I knew that .......

I continued .......

That's me.

Hein Helvirshain, who cannot be a girl's knight.

Thus, I continued to turn away from what I had to do, and for a year or two I continued to brainwash myself in the name of education. But one day, just a few days before the promised Nativity Day - the girl says.

The girl wished, as if the ship had found something on the horizon as it pushed through the dark night.

'...... Mr. Hein. ...... Finally, I'd like to take a look outside.

I realized then that the girl who was perfect had a breakdown.

I realize for the first time that my unconsciousness, which is the only one, has caused the breakage.

A little after this, a young girl, Rustyala, meets a dark-haired, black-eyed boy, Christ--

That's the beginning of the story of a girl and a boy.

The wheels of destiny began to beat.

I can still clearly remember the sound of it.