Chapter 3.3 - Passionately 3 (1/2)

Confidence.

In the past, there was a time when I gave lessons to people. It was embarrassing considering my skills, but there were quite a lot of normal people that wanted to learn singing as a hobby. Teaching a few skills to those and getting paid for the lessons was the rough gist of things.

When I was lost, not knowing what to do, so in other words, when I was doing whatever that paid me, there were quite a few people learning from me, and there was something I told them everytime.

Sing with confidence.

The people hiring me would always say this,

‘Well… it’s because I can’t sing well that I have no confidence.’

Then, I would reply,

‘It’s because you have no confidence that you can’t sing well.’

Because you don’t have confidence, you don’t widen your mouth and open it at a tiny size that won’t even fit popcorn chicken. And because you lack the confidence, you vocalise thinly and not from deep within.

A noob that can only stand at the standing line after having everything correctly done is cutting corners like that? Becoming a good singer was just asking for too much.

That was how important confidence was in singing.

Then, how would we gain that confidence?

“… Do I really have to sing here?”

“Yes.”

Han Dasom stared at my face with a pale expression. Her usual white skin turned even whiter and resembled a ghost egg.

She’s not trembling because the March weather is too cold, right?

With a grin, I checked the surroundings to find quite a few students moving around wearing bags.

It was morning – time for students to get prepared for the lessons.

The front of the Main Building was filled with the commuting students. We were standing slightly off to the side of the entrance, and the people passing by would stare at us with eyes that said, ‘what are they doing there?’.

A place filled with that many people.

In that place…

We were going to sing.

“Yunjae…”

An easy way to gain the confidence to sing, was obviously to get on stages multiple times. And if there weren’t any stages, then you just had to make them.

“Why”

Crossing my arms and turning over to Han Dasom, I found her staring at me with a gloomy gaze. After grumbling on how it was the first time in her life singing in front of this many people, she asked.

“… Doing this today will really make it better right?”

“Who knows? If it doesn’t work, then we’ll continue until it does.”

“…”

Han Dasom looked at me with resentful eyes. ‘Isn’t this like a rainmaking ceremony’, she muttered, seemingly not believing in the effect of this training method.

How rude, this was a training method that was proved by none other than myself.

Tch tch, I clicked my tongue and looked at Han Dasom when I suddenly remembered the things that had happened in the past – the days I practised with teacher Kwak Jungsoo.

I was shaking like that as well back then.

But now?

Flicking my head over, my eyes met with another student who was facing this way. His eyes said, ‘who are these weirdos?’ but when I glared at them like it was a staring contest, he averted his eyes first.

Shrugging my shoulders indicating that it was my win, I turned and found Han Dasom looking at me with a dumbfounded expression.

Well, now, I became an attention seeker like this.

I was like this, but asking Han Dasom to be the same would be too much. With the aim of loosening her tensions up, I turned over and looked directly at her.

Her shrunk posture appeared pitiable.

“Dasom.”

“Un…”

Looking at her quivering eyes, I opened my mouth.

“What’s your dream?”

“Dream?”

She made a questioning expression.

Ah, was it too random? I scratched my hair and looked forward to see the busily walking students. Some of them were only in their freshmen days of highschool but were already being chased by time.

Some students carried a bunch of visual arts tools while some watched dancing videos even while walking. And there were those that carried instruments bigger than their bodies with passionate eyes.

For what were they trying so hard for?

Opening my mouth, I slowly talked about my own.

“When I’m singing, there’s something bottling up, like, feeling my throat dry up. Ah, it would’ve been better if the resonance was a little bigger here; ah I wanted to put a better vibrato here; and ah, I want to sing just a little better – that kind of thirst.”

Reaching my hand out, I threw it towards the sky.

“And finally, singing a song without that thirst – a perfect song, is my dream. That’s why I’m trying hard: to achieve that dream. You should have some sort of a reason to sing in the cold morning wind to not feel unjustified right?”

“Uh? Un…”

“So…”

I turned my head and saw Han Dasom looking at me.

“What’s your dream?”

Her pupils retracted as her lax expression became tense and her iris regained its colours. With an ever sharper expression, Han Dasom stared directly back at me.

She then slowly opened her lips.

“I… want to sing valiantly in front of people.”

Valiant singing, huh.

She has quite the hard dream.

With a grin, I held her chin with my hand. When I pressed on her two puffed up cheeks, her mouth pouted out like a carp. Looking at the wide-eyed Han Dasom staring at me, I opened my mouth.

“And someone like that is trembling like a jelly because they can’t sing? We’re starting in 5 seconds. Vivaldi Gloria part 11. Get prepared.”

“Uun??”

While letting go of her cheeks, I simultaneously started conducting with my other hand and Han Dasom urgently breathed in with a scare.

“Three! Two! One!”

Without a care, I raised my voice and opened the song,

Vivaldi, Gloria no 11,

Passionately.

“Quaniam tu solus sanctus!”