112 Desires, And An Elemental Overlord (1/2)

”What do I want?” I asked myself. It was an important question, one that merited legitimate consideration.

”I like the freedom my current lifestyle affords me. That said, I also want others to be free.” I muttered, keenly aware that I possessed the power to effect grand change and to forever change the world.

”I am staunchly opposed to slavery. If I want to oppose slavery effectively... I need to come out of hiding and declare that I am outlawing it. And that I have the authority to do so. Authority I can wield by virtue of my power as a god.” I realized, firmly aware that the longer I hid my existence the longer practices that I hated and firmly opposed would continue to be practiced.

”The longer I am wishy-washy the longer slavery and other equally abhorrent acts continue to occur.” I muttered, clenching my fists in irritation. I knew that I was at the point where I needed to make a decision and stick with it.

”I possess the power to change this world in ways I see fit.” I whispered, beginning to feel something come up within me.

”I need to use it. And not run from it. I am a god. I still don't know much about what that means, but I need to accept the power within me and embrace it as a means to achieve my goals.” I said, speaking loudly now. Undead around me were looking in my direction, aware of my proximity but not who I was. I didn't want them to know. Not yet anyway.

I was in the middle of planning something, something that I knew may well require their aid. But first I needed to be truly introspective. To look within myself. To examine myself and see who I was, versus who I wanted to be.

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I was afraid. I wasn't sure of what entirely, but I theorized that I was afraid of my own power. And a part of me felt that that was comparable to being afraid of myself. Gods were the closest thing possible to power incarnate.

The power I possessed gave me the ability to ravage solar systems and that sent shivers up my spine. If I was being honest that was likely why I had yet to use my more destructive powers. But those powers were necessary, important ones.

The fear I felt was a powerful one. One that had probably lurked in my heart ever since I first interacted with Okig and my lack of control over my own powers caused her mind to be altered. But I knew that I wasn't the same god I had been when I did that. In the days since then, I had changed, and in turn I had changed entire societies.

I had met creatures all over the world and gone to space. I had fought in major battles and converted entire settlements to my worship. I had gained the power to reanimate the dead. If I let my fear control me it would take me forever to gain the powers I wanted and to abolish slavery.

”How long will I let my fear control me?” I asked myself.

”How long will I restrain myself? And am I truly free if I continue to hold myself back?” I wondered. It didn't take me long to come up with an answer.

”No... If I continue to let my fears go unnamed, unaddressed, and unresolved, then I am not free. And if I want to free others surely I must free myself first.” I realized.

”But how? How can I confront this fear I feel within me?” I wondered, pushing myself to arrive at a breakthrough somehow.

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I spent a few minutes stuck in an introspective loop. I was pushing myself to find a way to free myself from a self-imposed cage of fear, limitations, and caution that kept me from acting on my desires. And a part of me, the part shackled by fear, was pushing back against my desire to free myself.

”But if I misuse my powers the consequences might be irreversible!” A part of me argued, advocating for my caution and for my continued slowness with regards to the usage of my powers.

”The longer I refuse to use my powers, no matter what justification I come up with to avoid using them, the longer slavery continues to be practiced. The longer people continue to be shackled. The longer I continue to deny something that is fundamental to a god: my own power.” Another part of me retorted.

”I am not free so long as I allow fear to control me. To define me.” That same part of myself argued.

”But what if I make mistakes?” That cautious part of me argued again.

”Then I learn from them. And if necessary I fix them. I am not a child. I can take responsibility for my mistakes and I can fix what I break.” The firmer, bolder part of me retorted.

”How can I be a god of anything important if I refuse to use my powers? What is the point of my existence, if I let fear define me and keep me small? What can I create if I allow myself to be afraid?” The brave part of me, the free part of me asked.

For the first time, the voice in my head, the part of me that was afraid, was quiet. The brave part of me was winning. I sensed it. And it made me feel excited.

”I practice my powers. I hone them. I train with them. It makes me strong. And now I must let it make me brave. I must let it make me grow.” That part of me whispered. And it wasn't wrong. I did train with my powers. I did practice with them. I took them seriously and used them intelligently.

”I am a god. I am not a mortal. And I am not confined to the old ways of the gods of the past. I am my own person. And at the end of the day, if I am to grow I must not let fear hold me back.” That part of me whispered, triumphantly.

”That doesn't mean not listening to my fears. I can be intelligent and careful with my powers without being afraid of them.” I told myself.

”And to prove that... I should use them.” That bold part of me asserted. I smiled as I realized what the courageous part of me meant. A way to use my powers that would be both ambitious and would be something I could do without harming people.

”I must accept who I am. What I am. It is time for me to become myself. To embrace the godly pride that dwells within me. The godly pride that dwells within me is a gift from my ancestors. And if I am to become who I am meant to be, I must accept it. I must accept my own power.” The bold part of me whispered, coaxing me to accept who I am and to be myself. Power, pride, and all.

Feeling a surprising certainty and boldness I closed my eyes and teleported out of the undead city. I was going somewhere far away from it. A place that wasn't dark, or crawling with the undead.

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I found myself in a new place an instant after I realized that there was a safe way for me to use my powers and begin to fully and truly confront my fears. I was floating freely over the ocean.

As far as even my gaze could see all I could see was an ocean. The ocean that stretched around me in every direction was a stunningly beautiful crystal clear blue color, and it teemed with oceanic life. I wasn't here for the ocean though. Instead I looked to the sky.

The sky stretched endlessly above me. It was cloudless and breathtakingly beautiful. And it was also the perfect place for me to begin to use my powers fully and artistically. I rose a hand and pointed it into directly above me.

I saw the empty air that endlessly stretched out above and around me and willed it to no longer be empty. And I watched as reality itself changed at my behest.

Stones and soil began to appear above me. Slowly. I chuckled as I watched them gradually come together and struggle to form a cohesive surface on which something could form. I rose another hand and aimed it squarely at the scattered collection of stone and soil.

”I must be brave.” I told myself, as I activated an ability of mine for the first time: my mastery over gravity. I shivered slightly, feeling a bit of anxiety, as I began to utilize this potent power. I was worried that I was going to mess it up, and create a gravitational core that would be too big and attract too many things.

[Oh wow, you really are experimenting aren't you?] Asked the system, an interested tone coloring its question. I gritted my teeth and ignored the question.