32 White Christmas (1/2)

Here lies Tony Russo. A father, a husband, and a great man.

I laid out the flowers on his snow covered grave. The stone spoke truth, but I knew half the town didn't believe it. As far as they knew he was a drug dealer who endangered the lives of three families.

After everything that happened I still couldn't get over that. I hated it. Tony made the ultimate sacrifice for my mistakes and his reputation was ruined for it.

”I'm sorry Tony. I really am. More than anything that's happened I'm sorry I did this to you.”

I sat in the snow. I didn't care that I'd get a little wet for it. I found myself a little weak in the knees trying to speak my mind to him. Even if it was too late I thought it was better than nothing.

”You gave so much for me. You gave your life and even then, you didn't stop giving. Your reputation went to hell and it's because of me.”

I whipped at the tears rolling down. My cheeks went cold in the gentle breeze.

”I'm not going to forget you. You and grandpa did so much for me even after you were gone. Im going to love you two old bastards till the day I die.”

I stood up brushing snow off my seat and legs. I just kept crying. Like my eyes sprung a leak. Some snotty brat kid who couldn't control himself. I felt so stupid.

”I hope I make you both proud where I'm going... And don't worry about the three-oh-two. Its staying with me and I'll take good care of it. Both of you taught me how to work on cars you know I can do it.”

I laid my hand on the stone and closed my eyes giving a silent prayer up to God. I never really knew if I believed in Him. God was always elusive to me. I always admired those who could get that relationship with Him. Tony and my Grandpa were both those kinds of people. In respect for the both of them I prayed, and I even gave one for my Grandpa too.

”Love you guys.”

I could barely get the words out before a sob choked out. Wiping my eyes I turned and trudged through the snow back to my car. It stood halfway on the road still running so it stayed warm. The Mustang got going eagerly down the road.

My phone buzzed away softly in my Jacket pocket. I pulled it out and put it on speaker so I could still work the stick and talk.

”Will you be back tonight honey?”

It was my mom. Worried and supportive all in the same tone.

”Yes mom, I'm meeting Johnny and Jessica for a little bit. I'll be heading out tomorrow with Jess.”

”You're sure this is what you want to do? No way I can talk you out of it?”

I laughed to myself taking a slow turn into the town square.

”Now you want to talk me out of a higher education?”

”It just seems so soon after all that craziness. I feel like you should relax at home, and maybe see a counselor or something.”

She sighed a bit defeated.

”Fine, but you better not leave without a goodbye.”

”Of course not, and I'll be a phone call away at all times.”

I pulled into a parking space outside the ice cream shop. Jess was meeting me there before we linked up with Johnny, Kirin, and Nathan. With my hands tucked away in my jacket pockets I sauntered up to the booth Jessica was sitting at.

Her silky smooth black hair was a bit longer now then the when I saw her after she caught a bus back home. That was back in October. I had noticed that before, but now that things weren't so tense I had the chance to admire it. I did like her hair longer anyways.

She looked up from her usual root beer float locking eyes with mine. Those soft browns set perfectly in her warm smile. I slipped into the booth in front of her. Her black turtleneck was stylishly pretty, and went with her jacket that cut off mid rib very nicely. She ran her hand back through her hair then shot me a wink.

”How are you feeling this morning?”

”Everything still hurts. Of course, doctors said I shouldn't have any long lasting injuries after this. Guess that's a small miracle”

”Or a big one considering what you put yourself through.”

I chuckled quietly to myself gazing around the small shop. I could still faintly remember when I came here after class to study and share notes. I could vaguely remember bringing Sara a few times too. It all seemed like another life. So far away from who I was now.

As if God himself had a sense of Irony in stepped Sara and her new man. Jessica had told me his name was Beck I recalled. She breezed past us with her nose upturned. Jessica smirked laughing a little under her breath.

Sara went right up to the register and ordered something before shooting the two of us a look like she smelled something bad. This time she did nothing to me. It was weird. I was so far away from the guy she had cheated on so long ago that I felt like a different person.

I shared a wild smile with Jessica before she lunged across the table giving me a wildly passionate kiss. I was stunned beyond words. Sara's eyes lit up with something half way between disgust and anger. Jessica stood up taking my hand and pulling me out of the booth.

”Let's get going Jack. We got friends to meet.”

She pulled me along right out the front door. I heard behind me Sara getting into an argument with Beck over something. Probably her reaction to what Jessica did to me. I felt bad for Beck. Maybe he wasn't a bad guy, but I knew Sara all too well.

Jessica hopped in the passenger side, and I cranked the Mustang.

”Go hard Jack. I want to scream the whole way there!”

”I sense an innuendo in that one.”

”I meant for you too. Now punch it.”

I did. I peeled tires out front just to steam Sara even more, and then drove within reasonable limits to the meet up.

”I didn't scream at all...”

Jessica pouted in the passenger seat.

”Middle of the day on Christmas Eve, and there is snow on the ground. Did you want me to get pulled over?”

”Could have ran from them...”

I laughed loudly and came to a stop next to Johnny's car. Johnny was leaning against the driver door with Kirin and Nathan surrounding him. When we pulled up they all gave a wave excited to see us.

”Kept us waiting huh? It's cold as hell out here!”

”You think its cold up here in the Summer Johnny. Keep your pants on.”

I said getting out of the car. I left it running to keep it warm even if it did burn some gas. We all stood together sharing oddly satisfied smiles. It was the first time since the last job that I had seen Kirin and Nathan.

Thanks to them the town didn't suspect Johnny and I of anything. All the questioning was sped up with Kirin's connections in the force, and with the story about Tony being a dealer so widely accepted no one questioned that a rival gang could have gone after a witness along with that witness's friends and family. I still hated that Tony had to be the fall guy for it. That would stick with me forever, but I couldn't thank him enough for giving everything he had for me.