Chapter 586: Stock Car Race (1/2)
”Ask not for whom the bell tolls for it tolls for thee.” - Unknown
7th Army Bugler
All News! No Rumors!
TRUCKER TO TAKE STAND
Contrary to the opinions of JAG experts and barracks lawyers all over the Confed Military, General Trucker is set to take the stand. Whether or not it is for his own defense remains to be seen.
With the fact that the Devil Herself is running the prosecution, everyone expects some kind of twist to come up soon. Doubters to her power were silenced when she summoned the SUDS record of Colonel Dremsal, a former Regimental Commander for 3rd Armor. Additionally, an assessment of her facial structure has many to believe that she is a Pre-Glassing phenotype, maybe even Pre-Glassing Hamburger Kingdom.
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MAJOR GENERAL P'KANK TO TAKE COMMAND OF 8TH INFANTRY DIVISION
Transferring in from pro-tem Commander of III Corps, General P'Kank was promoted to General of the Bronze as well as to Major General, following his successful five year defense of the Hesstla system in the face of overwhelming Atrekna forces.
General P'Kank reformed 1st Cavalry Division, 2nd Armor Division, 1st Infantry Division, and 1st Power Armor Division after the disastrous effects of the Great Die Off, training local citizens to replace the loss of TDH numbers.
With him comes nearly 150,000 Hesstla volunteers, many of which have months and years of combat experience against the Atrekan. Also accompanying General P'Kank are nearly a division of Tukna'rn infantry, a Mantid Medical Brigade, and a Leebaw Aquatic Commando Special Troops Unit.
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HOUSING AND YOU - WHAT YOU NEED TO KNOW
For those of you in on-post housing, it is necessary to understand that any modifications to your dwelling, even as simple as painting the walls, must be preceded by filing proper paperwork and gaining permissions.
Talk to your Housing Liaison before making any changes to your dwelling.
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BOBCO MERCH FAIR FRIDAY
That's right, General NoDra'ak has lifted the ban of the sale of BobCo merchandise and is allowing the somewhat disreputable ultra-corp to hold a merchandise fair at the Ralvex PX on the south side of base this Friday.
Yes, there will be puppies, kittens, dogs, and cats for adoption!
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PRIVATE FIRST CLASS K'RAK AWARDED WARSTEEL CLUSTER!
Confederate Armed Services officers, A Cattle Queen of Smokey Cone, and a representative of the Confederate Government visited Threadle Military Medical Center yesterday to award PFC K'Rak the Confederacy and the Treana'ad Hive World's highest awards for valor in the face of the enemy. General NoDra'ak pinned both the Warsteel Cluster and the Strawberry Mean Moomoo awards to the recovering infantryman. Additionally, the wounded infantryman was inducted into the Brotherhood of P'Thok. The wounded Treana'ad infantryman accepted the award solemnly before asking about his platoon mates, who, regretfully, were killed during the campaign.
As you know, PFC K'Rak's dropship was shot down in the opening landings and his Platoon Leader and Platoon Sergeant were killed during the crash. PFC K'Rak, using initiative, set up a hasty fortification and held off Atrekna wave attacks until the survivors could regroup. Administering first aid in between waves until the survivors were ready, PFC K'Reak, with the rest of his squad, held off repeated Atrekna wave attacks for nearly 90 hours before his squad was forced to abandon the dropship and retreat into the mountains after wiring the dropship to blow in place. Once on the move, the survivors kept the pressure on the Atrekan, conducting hit and run raids as they moved through fifty miles of enemy held territory, often escorting refugees.
PFC K'Rak then participated in guerrilla warfare against the Atrekna for nearly two years, eventually becoming the last Treana'ad standing. Once he was on his own, PFC K'Rak kept up harassing the Atrekna forces by skillfully [WOULD YOU LIKE TO KNOW MORE?]
8TH INFANTRY DIVISION 'GRUNT GAMES' COMMENCE ON MONDAY!
The fabled 8th Infantry 'Grunt Games', where infantry units show off their MOS skills in observed and judged events, will take place for the first time in six years starting Monday. The two week event will see everything from unpowered cliff descent to rapid dismount to fire and maneuver. It will be open to dependents and civilians, with tickets going on sale at any Morale, Welfare, & Recreation center.
In related news, the Unified Educational Channel will be broadcasting the games live to the former Unified Council Territory.
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REENLIST TOD
>NO
NEW ADAPTIVE CAMOUFLAGE UNIFORM MAY BE ON THE WAY!
After two years of testing a new adaptive camouflage uniform may be on the way, to replace the currently eighteen year old uniform in standard use across the Confederate Armed Services. Replacing the pressure seals with Velcro, adding two more pockets, and adjusting the size of the rest of the pockets, the new uniform will be lighter, more durable, and offer better concealment!
A project between TRADOC and Procurement Services, the new uniform will be using the camouflage pattern developed by Brigedair General Altair of the Confederate Army. General Altair had agreed to lease the pattern to the Confederate Armed Services before this reposting to Terra after the Second Telkan Defense.
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COMMAND REMINDERS FROM THE DESK OF GENERAL NODRA'AK
I would like to remind all service members that 'Catch the Bayonet' is only to be played with at least one medic in attendance and only with a BAC of lower than .25. Preferably play it outside. Furthermore, live grenades are NOT a substitute for a bayonet and we all damn well know it.
Additionally, I would like take this opportunity to inform enlistedmen that it is not appropriate to sneak up behind officers and suddenly yell ”IS THAT DAXIN/LEGION?” at the top of your lungs despite how humorous the reaction might be.
Once again, I would like to remind the enlistedbeings that tying a string to a glitter colored smiley-face button and attempting to 'Lure Cat-Girls' into your room with them means that any and all 'injuries' incurred during 'close quarters combat grappling practice' are not an excuse to get out of PT.
Furthermore, must I remind you, fellow officers, that some decorum should be maintained in front of the enlisted? The Immortals are not here to answer questions to satisfy your historical curiosity, they are here with a most solemn duty regarding the court martial of one of our brother officers. Besides, none of them are going to tell you who assassinated Razor Wit Wendy at the end of the War of the Box.
Senior NCO's are reminded that it is not appropriate to send enlisted in trouble to stand outside the court-room with signs decrying their crimes, disappointments, or other problems. I would like to reaffirm that you are not allowed to 'make it Daxin's problem now' or 'answer to the Sisters of Wrath', you have the training and experience, just stop.
Finally, I would like to remind all lower enlisted that ”The Devil Made Me Do It” is not a valid defense despite the sudden revelation that the Devil is real and on post at this time. Yes, yes, I know that she has impressive ”Devil Mommy Milkers” but please, in the interests of avoiding a theological incident, stop blaming ”The Detainee” for your misdeeds.
And no, she doesn't lactate whiskey. For the Digital Omnimessiah's sake, gentlemen, ladies, both and neither, what made you even think that?
--General NoDra'ak
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The courtroom was quiet as Trucker's lawyer moved up to the witness stand.
”Your Honor, I'd like to enter General Trucker's service record into evidence,” the lawyer said.
The judge thought for a moment. ”I'll allow it.”
The Detainee snapped her finger and a little bow-legged creature with big eyes, a mouth full of snaggle teeth, floppy ears, clawed hands, and flappy feet appeared in a puff of yellowish smoke.
”Yeah, boss?” it squeaked.
”Bring me Trucker's record,” the Detainee ordered.
”Yes, boss,” the creature said, vanishing in a puff of smoke.
Trucker's lawyer shook his head and turned back to General Trucker, who sat in full uniform, his sash heavy with medals.
”General Trucker, how long have you lead Third Armor Division (Old Blood)?” the lawyer asked.
”Sixty-eight years total,” Trucker said.
”In that time, has Third Armor ever taken casualties like they did during the Great Die-Off?”
”No, sir,” Trucker said.
”Has the situation ever been as desperate for Third Armor Division as it was at that time, in your opinion?”
The little creature appeared, holding out a paper file folder, then vanished in a puff of brimstone.
”No, sir.”
”Please describe the events leading up to your request to active the Black Cauldron Protocol,” the lawyer said.
Trucker clenched his hands as he went over going in for a diagnostic on his cyberware, waking up in the room to a startled Mantid doctor, discovering his forces were virtually wiped out. He stressed the civilian casualties were mounting geometrically before he gave the order to land directly into the enemy's guns. He went through his hazy, foggy memories of the battle, finishing with deactivating the protocol and returning to the orbital command for medical treatment.
”In your professional opinion, General, was there any other option, available to you at that time and that you had knowledge of, that you could have used that would have stopped the enemy and preserved civilians?” the lawyer asked.
”No, sir,” Trucker said.
The lawyer turned to the judge. ”No further questions, your Honor.”
The judge stared at the Detainee. ”Your witness.”