Chapter 272: Historical Archive (PThok Makes a Video) (1/2)

The three videos hit InfoNet like atomic bombs.

They were each viewed in the billions of times in the first 72 hours. Then watched and rewatched over and over.

Each video spawned hundreds, thousands of imitators seeking to prove or disprove the videos, all of them doing nothing more than proving they existed. On all eight planets the videos were played even on the public access Tri-Vee channels. Even children watched them.

The first two were very much alike.

”Smoking for the Survival Oriented Male” was the first one. It showed a Treana'ad warrior caste with a nifty looking hat putting a white tube with one brown end in his mouth and lighting the opposite end, with a warning to always ensure the brown end was held in the mandibles. How to get a good drag off of it, and how to force the smoke out of the spiracles in the legs. The video showed how to stop arguments by lighting a cigarette, how to defuse tension, how to even approach a Matron or matron and ask for directions to the nearest public entertainment facility.

The viewers were amazed at how confident the male was. Some attempted to attribute it to his marvelous hat, after all, it made him look dangerous and competent and rugged. Still others were concerned that without the hat the 'smoke' wouldn't work.

The ”Moomoo Carer Hat Corporation” went from little more than an InfoNet Store to being worth trillions in the space of a week as they were swamped with orders. Every male wanted one, from the lowest street sweeper to the semi-captive breeding male of a powerful High Matron who hoped the hat would held him escape his eventual fate.

The second video, titled ”Power Smoking for the Elegant Matron” featured an obviously wealthy and powerful Matron, resplendent in jewelry, an animal leather vest, a decorated sash, and her antenna adorned with star shaped charms, using a device to inhale sharply then exhale huge clouds of smoke from her spiracles. It showed how she could stop arguments, prevent recently matured, just molted females from overwhelming a male with pheromones, ease discomfort of those who had fought the Terrans and survived, and even calm the highly aggressive hatchlings.

The video was watched over and over.

The ”Designer Power Smoker” corporation and the ”Senso-Taste Smoke Juice” corporation were flooded with orders to the point where powerful High Matrons petitioned their local Hive Queens to move them up on the order list, since both corporations were militantly ”first come first serve” when it came to filling orders.

The Hive Queens all sipped at their ornate and sparkly power-smokers, listened to the complaints of the High Matrons, and universally (as agreed during the meetings) used ”Sour Apple Surprise” to signal their displeasure and ordered the High Matrons to return to their lavish estates and be grateful that the world was changing.

Which startled the High Matrons, as they knew that either they would have their request granted or be eaten by the Hive Queen's grubs.

The Hive Queens of all eight worlds knew that the next one would change Treana'ad destiny even more than the (accidental) discovery of jumpspace and jumpspace superluminal flight. They had argued, worried, considered, and debated the release of the third video.

But they agreed, like the (totally on purpose and not at all accidental) invention of the jump-drive had, that to try to stand in the way of the destiny of the Treana'ad was a good way to get run over and left like a flying insect on a groundcar's windscreen.

So the video hit InfoNet.

And promptly crashed the servers.

The beginning of the video was... controversial to say the least.

Four just molted young adult females were arguing in a room, each having taken up a corner, chittering angrily at one another, sharpening bladearms, hurling insults, their wings and carapaces flush with blood and shining brightly.

A matron entered with a power smoker and exhaled a huge cloud of smoke that filled the room and rolled over the young females. They calmed, no longer throwing insults, but the anger was still almost palpable even over the video. The matron produced four bowls, handing one to each of the females. Each bowl contained two small roundish orbs of something creamy looking that glittered with frost. The females ate the orbs and seemed to get drowsy, quickly moving to embrace one another and reaffirm their familial bonds and friendship.

Everyone who saw the video knew that what they had seen was impossible. The four females should have engaged in an orgy of slaughter until only one was left, and statistically, there was a high chance that all four would have died.

The next part started out confusing. A Matron entered the room with a worker caste, who had on one of the neato hats. The worker was carrying a bowl of ice in one hand and a bag of stuff in the other. As the viewers watched the worker, under the supervision of the obviously wealthy and powerful Matron, brought out two metal can with plas lids. The two cans were empty, which the worker showed off. First the worker put ice in the bottom of the larger can, then mixed ingredients in the smaller. Something called ”Moomoo Juice” and other esoteric ingredients. Not many, really, just four that were listed as ”IMPORTANT”. The kilikik fruit that was chopped into small chunks was listed as optional as was the crushed iktakvak nuts. Once the ingredients were in the smaller can, the worker put the lid on it. Then the worker put ice in the bottom of the big metal can, sprinkled sea salt on it, then placed the small can on top of the ice. Then four layers of ice, each time salt was put on it, then covered the smaller can and put the lid on it. The worker then wrapped the large can in a cloth.

Then was a cut away scene where the worker used his bladearms to roll the can back and forth for a long time. The video advised the male to have a smoke during this time.

When the worker was done, he opened the large can, removed the smaller, then made sure the camera had a good view of him opening the small can.

A wondrous substance was revealed. A thick semi-solid that was extremely cold but still soft. He pulled out a bowl, scooped out two small orbs with a bejeweled scooper (Available in limited quantities for only 350 credits! BUY NOW!) and handed the bowl to the matron. He then repeated it for three other bowls and it became obvious to the viewer that this was the substance given to the recently matured females!

Treana'ad rushed to the nearest store, only to find huge lines waiting. The stores were prepared and had hired matrons to walk the lines with power smokers, exhaling sweet smoke, to keep the Treana'ad in the lines calm. It was limited to two bags of ingredients per person, but the stores sold out in hours.

The Hive Queens had foreseen this, however, and had hovertrucks waiting to restock the stores while matrons dressed in Hive Security Armor wandered the lines with power smokers to keep everyone calm.

If the first three videos were atomic bombs, the fourth was a planet cracker.

Reserved for mature audiences only, it showed a Matron mating with a warrior caste male. Every matron who viewed it nodded along. A powerful and obviously fit male. He would sire excellent grubs, and his head would undoubtedly be delicious, causing the matron to release powerful hormones that would ensure healthy and strong grubs.

The males had seen videos like this before.

They knew how it ended.

Instead, she ate a scoop of the 'ice cream', then took a deep drag from her power smoker, and then mated. While matind she used her bladearms to slice curls of ice cream from the second orb. When the mating was done, she rapidly ate the third, took a hit from her power smoker, and ordered the male from her presence. It ended with ”ICE CREAM AND SMOKE SAVES LIVES!”

He had escaped!