Chapter 10 - The Way Forward (2/2)

”You must be trying to leave it behind.”

”Yes. Persephone said that was the best.”

”Persephone says a lot of things. Don't listen to her.”

”Why? Isn't that what everyone does?”

”I have a different way that I know works. I used it on the battlefield. Every time death showed its ugly face, I remembered it. People never forget death, and trying to let it go is a pointless act of cowardice.”

”How exactly does that help? When I sleep, I dream about my own death! I just want the pain to go away.”

What I saw before me was just a child that had been forced to grow up too fast. He couldn't cope with the terrors of battle. I sighed inwardly. Solskin lacked the experience to deal with the true fear that came with the horrors of war. ”Trust me, it does. Death is just another part of life. Something that you can learn from.”

”How? Just how?” Solskin cried. His tone of voice warned me that he was close to breaking down.

”Remember the fear of death. Once it is ingrained in you, bring it into every battle. That fear will drive you to face death head on. Fear is natural. Fear is unavoidable. The only thing you can do is use it to go forward.”

Solskin stared deeply into his cup. Tears trickled down his face.

”Don't fear fear. Confront it. Use it to go forward. I have gone through this process too many times to count.” I got up and started walking to the stairs, trying to not remember the past and all of those that I left behind on that bloody field.

Solskin

Xavier's words struck a chord with me. They were familiar to me. Erik had always mentioned it as a lesson in his tales. I was ashamed in myself, Erik would have been disappointed. I looked at the retreating back of Xavier and saw the same poise Erik had. The confident manner with which a fighter carried himself. I felt my heart rise again. I steeled myself and plunged deep into my memories. Recalling every detail, I went through the battle moment by moment, second by second, and I felt better. The fear was not gone, but I felt better. Each time I faced down the memory, it became more bearable. Through this process I realized the truth in Xavier's advice, I no longer found the same fear in those memories and with Xavier as my role model, I never would again.

Persephone

I spent most of my nights praying, but on that night I felt a unnatural sense of tiredness. My eyes were heavy and my mind clouded. I lay on my bed and stared at the ceiling. In a state of semi-consciousness, I heard something. Someone was whimpering. I was too tired to bother. There was a creak of the floorboard and a soft scratch of wood. I tried to get up, but found I couldn't. My body refused to respond. My eyes narrowed and I fought back against the now-apparent magic at play. I was able to reach out with my arm, but my movements were sluggish and my limbs seemed as though they were weighed down with lead. I struggled to grab my pocket watch from the stand beside the bed. There were more sounds of whimpering.

I grabbed onto the watch, I felt the divine energy flood through me and the spell fade, and the weight left my limbs. I jumped up and tried to open my door. It was sealed shut. I kicked and pushed and charged the door. It wouldn't budge a inch. Desperately, I pushed the pocket watch against my ċhėst and began chanting. Placing my palm against the door, I prayed to Thanatos for power. A black hand formed over mine. The wood it touched rotted and shriveled up. The door turned a sickly green. Backing away, I kicked the door, shattering it into splinters that scraped my skin as I rushed toward the sounds. As I ran down the hall, I noticed that Xavier's door was open and the sounds seemed to originate from his room.

I charged in, ready to fight. Inside was a figure, stroking the top of Xavier's head with his palm, murmuring something in a language I didn't understand. Xavier had sweat covering his face and he was whimpering. The figure looked at me. I yelled and charged him.