Chapter 156 - Epilogue 3.3: Purgatory (1/2)

”When I was alive, I could feel other people's emotions. I don't know why but I have full control over my abilities now. If I want to feel your emotions, I can choose whether I want to feel them or not.” Wakana pauses for a moment to gather her thoughts. ”I thought that I loved Sei… when I met Minho, I realized that I would never go that far for Sei. That's how I knew that my love for Sei was shallow. I mean, even you did everything that you could to change the past because you wanted to save Li Jun. I don't think that I would do that for Sei.”

”I asked about Minho.” Kyuri's eyes curve into crescent moons. ”Think hard. Why do you think that you don't love him?”

Wakana bites her lower lips, thinking about the reasons. After a long moment, she looks up at the ceiling, slowly blinking her eyes. ”Well… I could be feeling the same thing. Whenever I was with Sei, I felt intense emotions. Most of them belonged to Sei. When I am with Minho, I am always calm.”

”Isn't that good?” Kwon Kyuri asks her quietly. ”If he makes you feel calm, then it means that you trust him.”

”It's good.” Wakana runs her fingers through her hair. ”But… I think that he's too good. He deserves someone who can love him more than he loves himself or me. I really want to see him find happiness. He's an immortal. Doesn't it mean that he should be with another immortal?”

There is a fact: she is a mortal and he is immortal. She will always die before Choi Minho. How can she be with him? She doesn't want him to go through what Kwon Kyuri had gone through in those thousand years.

”It should be his choice whom he wants to be with.” Kwon Kyuri ċȯċks her head and smiles at her. ”Say, do you truly not love him? When it was about Sei, you said that you wouldn't go as far as Choi Minho went for you. When it comes to Choi Minho, you want him to find happiness.”

”Yes.” Wakana frowns, not understanding what Kwon Kyuri is trying to say. ”It's different but…”

”Think about your feelings when you saw him getting hurt due to the curse.” Kwon Kyuri leans forward, resting her elbows on her thɨġhs. ”You say that you can control your gifts now. He's not around you to affect you either. Tell me one thing. If you could see any person you wanted, who would you want to see right now?”

After a moment of silence, Wakana tells her, ”Choi Minho. I want to tell him that he shouldn't be too sad.”

”That's strange, isn't?” Kwon Kyuri laughs. ”Even after death, you are here thinking about him. You are worried that he will be too sad. You think that he will be lonely. You know that your family will be alright but you aren't sure about him. Why is that? It's quite simple, isn't it? Didn't you consider his happiness before yours? You are unsure because his true feelings scare you. You are afraid to love again after what happened with Sei. You don't have your body now. But you are still thinking about him. That says a lot.”

”But I am a ghost.” Wakana looks down at her hands. ”Does it matter whether I love him or not? I still don't know if I do.”

”Maybe you need time.” Kyuri rubs her head. ”You have all the time now… but knowing him, I wonder if he will let go of you easily. Since he's immortal, he could be waiting for your reincarnation.”

”My reincarnation!” Wakana raises her head and widens her eyes. She truly doesn't want the same thing to happen. ”Can he find me? What if I am reborn in a different world?”

”That would be sad.” Kyuri pauses when she sees Martha coming in her direction. ”Oh, she's back with news.”

****

”He already took rebirth?” Kyuri exclaims. ”Does time run differently in heaven?”

Martha shakes her head. ”He filed a complaint regarding the violation of the free will.”

”What?” Kyuri pretends to be surprised. She opens her eyes wide and covers her mouth. ”What does that mean?”

”Since he was a vessel of a higher being like a keeper, he was also used as a medium to bring back balance.” Martha massages her forehead. ”That's why he had to do some things that his soul didn't agree to. That's the violation of the free will since he couldn't make his own decisions. But he already signed up for it before he became a vessel of the keeper. Back then… he didn't have any relationship with you. So…”