Chapter 30 - A Bitter Lesson (2/2)

- ”Then I will conquer them”- said Finn with decision- ”I can't say that I won't feel those emotions but I will never permit them to change who I am... I will submit them to my will.”

Luke smiled since Finn reminded him of himself when he was trying to convince Yoda to train him. He also had said he felt fear in him but later Yoda accepted that in the end one should choose his own destiny.

- ”We will see if that is true”- said Luke having some doubtsbut also remembering a very specific style from the past which had also helping him a lot to master his own lightsaber style- ”there were a few Jedi masters who were able to use the dark side to gain strength without falling into it.”

- ”So it is possible”- said Finn with eyes full of decision- ”So... can I try it?”

- ”Do or do not”- said Luke and handed the lightsaber of his father to Finn who received it in confusion- ”There's no try!”

- ”First you must feel the connection with the Force so you can use it to help you”- explained Luke with a serious tone- ”this method is actually one of the most effective and has helped generations of Jedi to gain a better understanding of how the Force works.”

He activated the lightsaber and felt that comfortable hum and buzz as long as the slight vibration in his hand. The droid moved around and Finn tried to follow the sound of it. Finn was wondering what was he supposed to do next when he received two painful shocks on his shoulder and stomach. There was not damage since the training droid was set in the lowest level of stun shots but it still caused discomfort to Finn.

- ”Try to feel the Force around you”- said Luke walking around the young man- ”let it guide you”

Finn thought that explanation was just too abstract and he did not know what to look for, he still followed the humming sound of the droid but immediately he received three shots which caused him to writhe in pain and almost made him let go the lightsaber.

- ”Stop trying to use your senses and use your instincts”- said Luke who had seen the same scene many times when he had trained padawans in his academy- ”your senses will cloud you but the Force will show you the true way but only if you let it.”

- ”I don't know how”- complained Finn who felt like a man lost in a giant city without a guide- ”isn't there a way to explain what I'm looking for?”

- ”Unfortunately nobody can help you to feel the Force”- said Luke with sincerity- ”it is something personal and intimate and only you can do it”

Finn failed again and again and he started to feel frustrated. He started to have the impulse to just give up when he felt something strange. Just before being shot again he had a faint feeling but he felt the pain before he could analyze it. Having nothing better he tried to feel that sensation again but he did not feel it until just a brief moment before being shot.

- ”He is starting to feel it?”- wondered Luke seeing the focus in Finn.

Finn felt the sensation better with every shot. He could not explain it but it was as if something was trying to guide him somehow. He started to follow the sensation and he noticed that the feeling was indicating him where the shot would go or at least the area.

- ”The next should be the arm and the left leg?”- he thought and almost immediately he felt the shots in his upper arm and in his left ankle- ”ouch!”

He doubted and wonder if that was what Luke was talking about but that moment of doubt cost him painful hits by the blaster. Finn did not give up and started to feel that something again. Luke smiled when he saw Finn moving the lightsaber closer to the area where the droid was shooting. The area was still too wide and way off mark but Luke noticed he was getting better by the minute. He did not make any comments and let Finn find his own way.

- ”Am I thinking too much about this?”- wondered Finn feeling the doubts consuming his will to continue- ”No! I know I'm doing it. I just need to focus more!”

He refused to give up and once again he found the feeling that was like a ċȧrėss and a whisper at the same time. He stopped trying to think about it and just let his body move according to it and somehow he knew that he had done exactly what he needed, but he was just too slow in his reaction. He received the two shots on his ċhėst and forearm.

- ”Almost! Just a little more!”- he encouraged himself and let the feeling guide him once again.

He somehow knew the next round of shots would be three so he decided to ignore the first two and focus in the last one. Finn received the two first blasters and then used all his focus on the last one, he did not think about it and just let his body moved in the direction that the sensation was guiding him and he then managed to block the last shot with the lightsaber. He felt the impact and Finn imediately put off the helmet feeling a great sensation of accomplishment.

- ”I did it... Yeah! Haha, who said I could not do it!””- said Finn very excited and feeling that he had discovered something extremely amazing. He started to jump in exhilaration and then he got closer to Luke who just observed him with a calm expression and a smile- ”I could somehow feel it... it was like if I knew where it was going to fly but at the same time I didn't,”

- ”It's a good start. Good job, Finn”- said Luke smiling and congratulating him- ”once you are able to let the Force guide you, this will be natural. Do it again until you can feel the connection very clearly”

Finn controlled himself and then he felt a little embarrased for his previous outburst so he shily nodded and put on the helmet again. For the next half an hour, Finn practiced with the Helmet and the droid but his success level was very irregular and Luke wondered why.

- ”Maybe it is his rationale”- said Luke and he remembered how Yoda said that it was difficult to teach padawans that were too old and supposed this was he meant- ”Ok. stop!”

Finn put off the helmet and Luke could see the confusion in his face. Sometimes he could feel the guidance of the Force as clearly as a sunny day but others he only felt darkness and chaos... He did not know how to control it at all. After the emotion of the first success, he once again felt frustrated for not being able to be constant.

- ”Don't rush, Finn”- said Luke trying to calm him down- ”you're just starting and like any skill, you just need more practice. The important thing is that you already felt the conection with the Force... and that alone puts you in a different level from other people. Don't forget that feeling since that will help you in many ways including lightsaber training. After saying that, he took out another lightsaber from under his robe and activated it with a powerful buzz which showed a dashing green light- ”on guard.”

Finn saw in awe the green blade that shone out of the lightsaber of Luke and he had the impression that the general had gotten bigger for some reason.

- ”Are you sure?”- said Finn knowing that a bad move could accidentaly injure or even kill any of them.

- ”It's better to practice now since you could find another knight of Ren.”- said Luke showing a relaxed expression- ”also, after some exercise I ȧssure you will sleep soundly and be ready for tomorrow mission.”

Finn rose the lightsaber and launched himself against Luke who patiently waited for his attack and easily parried and blocked his advances.

- ”Not only swing the blade... feel the Force like before and swing it with it”- said Luke while easily deflecting Finn's attempts on him and finally he made Finn fall to the floor- ”Let the Force guide your attacks... focus on that feeling and try again.”

Finn tried to remember that feeling... it was like knowing where the blaster was going to go and he knew where the lightsaber should go. Luke smiled when he saw the young man focusing and he used that moment to attack with simple swings. Having been taken by surprise Finn just reacted by instinct and surprisingly parried the attacks of Luke.

- ”Good! The Force will let you react in a natural and efficient way, just like you did now”- said Luke continuing with a series of basic slashes and stabs- ”Use your instincts led by the Force and you will be invincible.”

Finn tried to attack Luke but in a moment he pushed him to the floor after evading his slash and using the impulse against himself.

- ”Don't lose concentration”- said Luke- ”it will be a method the Sith use a lot. In a lightsaber duel the one who loses is the one who gets distracted first.”

- ”Like what?”

- ”Attack!”

Finn attacked again and once again Luke kept the dueling very basic and Finn even seemed to be gaining terrain.

- ”You know Rey is already dead, don't you?”- said Luke with a sarcastic tone and almost immediately Finn did not know how to react. Finn's guard was broken for a second but that was enough for Luke to give him a punch in his belly and send him to the floor.- ”just like that...”

- ”Why did you say that?”- said Finn getting angry for the words Luke had said to him.

- ”Control your emotions and feelings...”- said Luke- ”You are a soldier. You know that a distraction in the middle of battle is mortal. The enemy will try to do that... don't give them the chance. You said you would make those feelings submit, didn't you? Then do it and attack again!”

Finn stood up and managed to control his emotions. It was true that he had let his emotions run wild and it had happened the same the first time he had fought with knight of Ren. He had tried to make him angry every time he could. He had to be prepared for the next time since he knew that this was a very effective method.

- ”Good...”- said Luke nooding in approval- ”now again...”

The training session continued for another two hours until Finn was left gasping and breatheless on the floor.

- ”I suppose you will have no problem sleeping”- said Luke who seemed as cool as a cucumber and not tired at all.

- ”Not at all, general”- said Finn who just wanted to take a shower and go to bed- ”its an incredible feeling but I dont know if I will be able to use it in real combat.”

- ”Learn to crawl before running, Finn”- said Luke placing a hand on his shoulder. He really liked this young man and he expected many good things from him- ”everyone had to start like you... the knights of Ren and even Kylo Ren was the same”

- ”You too?”

- ”Of course!... However, dont use it if you don't feel sure.”- said Luke with a serious expression- ”Use the weapons that you have mastered already... I've heard you're an extremely proficient shooter.”

Finn handed the lightsaber to Luke and he received it and looked at it with tender eyes remembering his father and his last sacrifice for him. Then after some seconds of decision, he returned the lightsaber to Finn who seemed to be surprised.

- ”The force allowed you to have this lightsaber and I'm sure there's a reason for that”- said Luke who seemed to be conflicted but after a short moment of indecision he placed the lightsaber on Finn's hand- ”until The Force reveals the reason behind it... I think you should keep it.”

- ”Are you sure?”- said Finn who could see his hesitation.

- ”No, but sometimes we have to have faith”- said Luke and then he searched for something in a ċhėst he had in the room... it was a black belt which seemed like a tactical one- ”this a belt Jedis used to use. I think you will find it practical and you can take the lightsaber in a safer way.”

- ”Thanks”- said Finn wearing it and then he went to the door but before going he turned around- ”can I return other day to practice again?”

Luke thought about it and he remembered what had happened with his padawans in the new Jedi Academy and a doubt started to creep in his mind. Did he deserve to teach another people after what happened? Didn't the same thing would happen again if he tried? After his failure in saving his padawans, Luke had decided to never train another Jedi in fear of creating another Kylo Ren. Without noticing, he had broken his decision after seeing the honest eyes of the young man in front of him. He still could see the emotion and curiosity of someone who had discovered the Force as many of his beloved younglings had so many years ago. If they were alive, many of them would have the same age as Finn.

”We'll see after the battle”- said Luke smiling warmly at Finn- ”go and rest... remember that sleep is also a weapon”

Finn went away and Luke sat down remembering the days when he trained the new generation of Jedis and te joy it brought... but also it broght him a terrible feeling of sadness and emptiness when he lost everything. He didnt want to pass the same but the appearance of Finn was a sign of the Force... maybe he will have to teach once again even though he feel reluctant by doing it... maybe it was what he needed...

- ”Do I have the right to guide him in the ways of the Force?”- wondered Luke and then he remembered the emotion he felt teaching Finn. He had not felt like this in so many years and he yearned for feeling it again but he knew that he could not make a decision for now and so he stayed looking to the nothingness for a while. However, inside of his mind instead of nothingness there was a terrible vision of the past... one of desolation, fire and death...