Chapter 20 - Level 15 [ part 2 ]. Nightmares of the past (1/2)
***
Indiscernible screams were the only thing I was hearing, and intense anger was filling me. I wanted to hit something but couldn't. I was holding it in.
”How can you be so shameless! Don't you have at least a bit of conscience.” I was screaming.
***
Tears were streaming down my face. More screams even louder than before filled the space around me. Anger was turning into hatred, or to be more precise it was waking the hatred that was deeply buried inside me.
”Have you forgotten the past?! Well, I didn't! I will never forget, nor will I ever forgive! I will never forget all that pain and sufferings that…”
I continued screaming for some time.
***
Then I was sitting in my room trying to calm myself, while constraining tears' flow to the best of my ability. At the same time, irresistible feeling of loneliness was devouring my heart and only increased the mental pain I felt.
”Friends? What are those, when you truly need them?”
I was staring outside the window while sitting in the room. No thoughts were in my head or at least I was doing my best to empty it, in hopes that pain will leave.
Thoughts of suicide were breaking my will, but I will never succumb to this. Suicide is an easy choice, to live that is truly a hard decision to make.
*I open my eyes*
There was no sudden jumping from the bed or screams. I was sleeping and then I just opened my eyes. So, nothing surprising happened from outside, but inside I was filled with remorse and sadness.
'Interesting, it's the first time I am having a dream about my past. Seems like letting go of your past is just a story for naive kids.'
*Sigh*
'I strongly believed that I let go of it and my anger has subsided, but every time I think about it or remember my childhood… I feel pain, hatred and loneliness. That causes rage to boil inside me but anger is never a good thing for a sane person. I need to focus and forget.'
I sat and decided to save in case I will mess up my day due to my mood dive.
〖Save ⟳〗
6:12
Pretty early, huh. Whatever I don't want to sleep anymore, so might as well get up.
I put my clothes on. Because, I had only mantles in my inventory. Those were the only clothes I had. Thankfully clothes under mantle were included into the set, so I just took off the mantle itself. Although it does not cancel the fact that clothes I had were bland and boring.
It was a long sleeved black loose shirt with similarly black loose pants. Some shoes, undėrwėȧr and socks.
As soon as I am getting money, I am buying new clothes.
I went to the kitchen and saw nobody there. Apparently, Granger's had a little vacation thanks to daughter return and a whole family decided to sleep longer. I might as well prepare some breakfast for the family. I checked in fridge what food was available for cooking.
After seeing all available ingredients, I picked eggs, bacon(cooked), bread, salad, milk and some buŧŧer.
I mixed eggs(liquid from them) and milk. Checked for spices, but there wasn't much. That was a big difference compared to how I cooked before. My kitchen always had at least 5 types of spices. Anyways, I put some black and red pepper, salt and mixed it thoroughly.
Took out a pan and started heating it.
I did the same for all sandwiches I made. After that, I covered a dishes with food, with aluminum foil that I found somewhere in the top shelves, to make sure it will remain hot or at least warm.
Next I put a pot with water to boil for a tea or coffee depending on who wants what. I spent half-an-hour on that and by that time I saw Hermione's mother wake up and coming to the kitchen from a second floor of the house.
”Breakfast ready and is waiting on the table. I wasn't sure what will you prefer for breakfast, so I went for something simple. Hope you will like it. Tea or coffee?”
”Um… tea?”
”Found only green one. Heavy or light?”
”Medium, I think…”
”Okay. A minute please.”