Chapter 46 - Fresh Start (1/2)

Life has lots of surprises waiting for you. It changes colours like a traffic pole. Sometimes it's red and next moment it's green. Unless you pay close attention to it, you'll end up getting misled.

” Well..... we kinda like, imagine it...” Stella was having trouble with coming to a conclusion.

” Regina already knows how I feel about you. And it's not your fault that I fell in love with you. It's true that Regina and me have so much in common but that's not enough for us to love each other. On the contrary, you saved both of us to have a loveless marriage.” My facial expression became rigid as I continued to explain her.

” It's true that I shouldn't have ȧssumed it. It was really dumb, I admit. Can we just like let it go now?” Yeah sure! Why not, after all I love you so much. This is nothing compared to you divorcing me.

” Whatever.” I shrug it off my mind because I was still waiting for her answer. ” So? How do you feel about this?” Again I asked her.

” Look Theo, it's not that I hate you or anything—— in fact you have been a good friend to me ever since we got married. You helped me with lot of things and you were genuine to me. But sadly I don't have any romantic type of feelings towards you.” Stella's words rang into my eardrums. I knew it was obvious for her, to not have any feelings. Still I just don't wanna let go. I have to keep on trying. And now she even admits that she felt comfortable being physically intimate with me. How can I just let it go like nothing?

If you're comfortable having sėx with someone there has to be some sort of feelings. I mean it's true that there are people who enjoys having sėx with other people even without having any romantic feelings. For example take me. I had been physical with my ex girlfriends. I never loved none of them and so did they.

Even I slept with Regina so many times but I don't remember I ever felt this good knowing that I had sėx with a girl. Seriously I mean I admit that I did had ŀėwd thoughts about Stella. All these years I never felt this much enthusiasm or thrilled about gaining someone's affection.

” But you felt comfortable doing it with me. Maybe there's more to it. You have never thought of having a relationship. There could be a specific reason for that. If it's okay with you, how about sharing it with me?”

I knew something was wrong. When Vincent told me about Stella's past life and how she rejected everyone, there has to be more than that. I believe that Vincent is also unaware of this hidden story.

” There's really nothing to say. I just like to live by myself.” Stella looked like her lie was caught but she tried to look normal as if my words were not true.

” Come on! That's bullshit. Even for a once, you did feel the need of another person in your life, and let me clarify one thing. When you start to do more than what friends do, your relationship and feelings automatically changes. It's a fact!”

” I can't just go into a relationship and later leave it. That's gonna make things worse for both of us.”

” I'm not telling you to start loving me all of a sudden. I'm saying that you should at least give it a try. Think of me as more than your friend. And coming to that condition which you just suggested, I'm okay with it. Even after all this if you don't feel anything for me I won't pursue you anymore. Everything is in your hands. If you wanna stay, you can. If you wanna leave, I won't stop you. But remember my feelings for you will never change.”