Chapter 28 - The Truth (1/2)

I tried to fall asleep but there was so much going on in my head. Mostly I did fall asleep as soon as I lay down on my bed after all the work. Today was exceptional. I close my eyelids and wait for the slumber to take over me. I toss around the bed, moving all around the bed.

There's some one coming at my direction, some one who seems to be familiar with me. I can recognise her body. Looking further into the oblivion, her giggling noise fills my ears. I try to follow that shadow which leads me to a place. That person was standing still, keeping her face opposite direction. Drops of water was falling on the nȧkėd body.

I was shamelessly staring at her without any sense of fear. She moved her head and I was shocked to see that it was Stella.

I opened up my eyes and I realised that it was a dream. My breathing was heavy. Sweat was overflowing from my forehead even though the air con was still working. I got up to drink some water which made me aware of something. I noticed that my little guy has reacted to the ŀėwd dream.

Last time when I got a boner was back in my high school days. That's when the puberty hit me like a ocean wave. Back to those old days I used to get laid often. I stopped it around the second year of my college. It was hard to maintain both college and dad's company. Even when I was with Regina I had to go through with make out sessions to make my little guy response.

I instantly felt ashamed and embarrassed of my own reaction. Never thought I would have this types of crazy dreams about her. Although I did have two other before but at least they were still decent enough. I let out a sigh and went back to sleep.

I came to downstairs after getting ready for work. I sat down on my chair and Stella came to serve the food. Seeing her face made me remember last night's incident. My face instantly heated up with embarrassment.

” Good morning.” Placing the plate on the table she greeted me.

” Good morning.” I kept my head down, trying to avoid her gaze. I finished my breakfast and left without talking with her. Somehow I wanted to avoid her.

”What is wrong with me?” I muttered to my self. First Regina, now Stella I'm just acting rude again and again. If this goes on I'll end up hurting Stella also.

Regina was gone from my life. I don't have any remorse for her. I was bit angry though but now I really don't care. It's not like I cheated or anything. Girls are so complicated I could never understand them.

I drowned myself into work even, over worked to tackle with my loneliness. It may sound Cliché but work is my only loyal friend. The more thoughts I put into it, the more results i get from it. It never disappoints me.

” Hey is everything all right? You don't look good.” John was concerned about me that's why he noticed my odd behaviour.

Yes I'm not okay, I'm going through a lot and I don't know what to do. I really wanted to tell him all those but why bother. Sharing my burdens of loneliness to someone isn't gonna help me out.

” Nah I'm fine.” that's all I could say.

At this time I can only relay on one person and that is Stella. However I'm way to disturbed and not confident enough to explain this things. It scares me but mostly it makes me feel ashamed of myself.

Maybe I don't deserve life and attention anymore. Somehow this body, soul, mind are not at peace anyway. Late night depression and metal breakdowns— yeah I have gone through that phrase. It's all coming back again.

Every time I need someone to listen to my worries, my problems, my pain I'm alone. I never had a person who is good enough to calm me down. These uneasy feeling of my are fuċkɨnġ with my brain.

Work was not enough to put me out of my misery so I came to a bar. I sat on the counter and kept on drinking. I wanted to be at ease.

” You wanna day something?” I asked the bartender holding the glass of alcohol.

” Sir, do you have any love problems?” I was surprised by his question.

” No why did you asked?” My jaw clenched as I replied to him.