Chapter 441 - My SI Stash #41 - Lets Ride the Steel Horse again! by Nightmare723764 (Worm) (1/2)
-The accidental jailbait harem king is unironically a horse/
Synopsis: ???
Rated: M
Words: 18K
Posted on: forum.questionablequesting.com/threads/lets-ride-the-steel-horse-again-a-rewrite-of-on-a-steel-horse-i-ride.13325/ (Nightmare723764)
PS: If you're not able to copy/paste the link, you have everything in here to find it, by simply searching the author and the story title. It sucks that you can't copy links on mobile (´ー｀)
-I'll be putting the chapter ones of all the fanfics/originals mentioned, to give you guys a sample if you wan't more please do go to the website and support the author! (And maybe even convince them to start uploading chapters in here as well!)
Chapter 1-3 (exceptional)
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Status
Endoskeleton superstructure: 100%
Hyperspace core: 100%
Evolutionary system: 5% repairs needed (Top Priority)
Memory data core: Corrupted
Persona: Corrupted
Attempting to restore Persona and Memory
…
…
Restoration complete
Memory data core: Restored
Persona: Back-Up initiated
Scanning for Objectives and Mission parameters
No Objectives found
No Mission found
Waking up with the dulcet monotone of a computer screaming in your head is something I've always wanted and will forever treasure!
Not.
Nickering faintly in irritation I got up and focused inwardly to do a more in-depth system check, and I found myself irritated even more. I was painfully incomplete like I was rushed off the assembly line or something.
Though I did fork my personality to rant about being a goddamn horse!
My perception sped up as I wirelessly connected to the local internet and proceeded to process terabytes of data in seconds.
I was in Brockton bay, thankfully not the canon derpfest. Actually, the best I could describe the situation is Kuroinu only without **** monsters or Black Dogs… technically. Apparently, Nillbog's monsters were fond of **** regardless of the gender of their chosen mates.
Let's take stock of the situation. I was in Earth Bet that's bad (maybe?) but I'm clearly not in the Bet I know from fiction thankfully. Things in this world are still pretty grim, the S9 is still a thing along with all the other horrors that call this world home. The only major thing I've noticed so far is that Scion is for the most part inactive and is only occasionally seen.
Is Golden Morning still going to happen? Is the golden idiot still a ticking time bomb?
Status
Objective Update
Murder-Death-Kill Jack Slash
Murder-Death-Kill William Manton/Siberian
Murder-Death-Kill Crawler
Murder-Death-Kill Mannequin
Murder-Death-Kill Hatchetface
Murder-Death-Kill Shatterbird
Murder-Death-Kill Cherish
Capture/Deprogram Bonesaw/Reily (Shoulder Loli get)
Assess Scion/Zion
I can get behind those objectives, but 'Shoulder Loli get' seriously?
Bah, whatever I need to find a place to set up shop so I can complete myself. Theoretically, my best bet would be the PRT but I'm weary to put myself in the orbit of Cauldron. However, in my scans, I haven't seen any overt signs of Cauldron manipulation. So… it is a possible course of action.
Bah, first the first I need to find somewhere to hole up.
Shaking my head as my CPU scanned dozens of maps to find an ideal location I trotted out of the alley and into the Lord's Market.
Trotting down the way ignoring everyone looking at me curiously I did however stop to look into one shop.
Oh my~
Status
Biological-reactor systems operational
Phallus status: 15% and rising
Pseudo-Reproductive systems: Offline (Repair needed)
Breeding system: Offline (Calibration needed, Repair needed)
No, never mind. Just focus on finding somewhere to bunker down and see about correcting your lacking body and… that is Vista and… Kid Win? Why are two Wards approaching me??
”How'd a horse get here?” Kid Win wondered as his hoverboard came to a stop with Vista beside him.
”No idea.” Vista responded as she approached me cautiously, ”You lost big guy?” She asked with a faint giggle.
Big guy…? Oh yeah… that.
I didn't look at my half-mast erection and instead considered her costume. In the Worm serial as well as in fanfics Vista's costume is often described as 'cute' but… well I suppose it's still cute. But in this Bet, it's distinctly along the lines of lolita without the goth aspect.
”Yeah actually. You know anywhere a horse can get some peace and quiet?” I didn't laugh when the two gaped but it was a damn close thing, ”What? Never seen a talking horse?”
”No, can't say we have.” Vista said, recovering from her surprise rather quickly, ”Okay it's protocol to ask this but do you have this symbol somewhere on your body?” She added pulling out a picture of the Cauldron symbol and showing it to me.
I just gave her a dry look before slowly looking at my flank where the said symbol was branded (though calling it a cutie mark wouldn't be wrong either) before looking back at the two now sheepish Wards.
”Err… so it's that a baseball bat or are you happy to see Vista?” Kid WIn joked.
I just blinked and Vista dope slapped him.
”If you start making bad jokes like Clockblocker I swear you will regret it!” The lolita Ward swore even as her cheeks flushed.
I shook my head and chuckled, ”While I'm sure Vista is very attractive, especially outside of her costume, I actually looked in a window over there.” I explained snickering as Vistas blush darkened.
Kid Win looked over and it was his turn to shift around awkwardly, ”Yeah, that's Parian's shop. She's a clothes designer, who runs the most successful BDSM shop in the city. I think you saw someone testing out her selection…”
”I could take you to the PRT office.” Vista said, ”They'll help you find a place. Probably offer you a job too cause it's… pretty obvious you're a cape.”
”Whatcha mean? I'm just a regular talking horse~” I deadpanned making Vista giggle, ”Hmm, do either of you have a map? Just so I can avoid entering a gang's territory by accident.”
It kind of irritated me just how none of the maps I have at my digital fingertips had defined notations of gang territory. But I suppose that only makes sense given the nature of gangland politics.
”Sure.” Vista said, pulling a folded map from her utility belt, ”Though it isn't exact. So you're here right now…”
I heard Kid Win reporting to whoever was on Console duty as I listened to Vista.
God bless my bullshit processing and multitasking abilities!
”Thanks Vista.” I said nuzzling the smole small Ward, ”Perhaps sometimes I'll give you a horse ride.” Yes, I was fully aware of how that sounded and I really wish I could take it back but I can't.
Status
Processing… Temporal-spatial manipulator CBM Unpack data?
I declined the data because the thought of time manipulation terrified me, and the fact that I actually had the schematics to make it possible was slightly worrying.
”That sounds fun!” Vista said letting a little of her actual age show, ”I suppose it'd have to be bareback cause I don't think I could find a saddle that would fit you big guy.” She added reminding me that I'm in a h_e_n_t_a_i-esque setting.
Kid Win thankfully wasn't listening and was fiddling with his phone so he didn't catch the possible s_e_x_u_a_l innuendo Vista said.
”Err, yeah. Well until then!” I said ”I'll see you around sometime!” I added before I took off in a sedate gallop.
”Okay… I woke up as some sort of barebones cyber horse. Found out I'm anatomically correct. And accidentally hit on a loli who returned said innuendo without so much as flinching. What a wild world I find myself in…”
Now let's see here… get to Brockton General and go three miles…
”What's a horse doing out here?”
I paused and turned to see… Panacea taking a smoke break. The cherry of her cigarette illuminating her face.
I watched her throw the cigarette to the ground and step on it before approaching slowly, probably so she didn't spook me. I didn't comment as I was feeling rather irritated that I hadn't anticipated running into Bet's Premier Healer that is so much more than a Healer.
She approached and petted my coat only to freeze, her pupils dilating and I wonder what Shaper is telling her about my biology? Or do I register as a 'Error 404 Biology not Found'?
And now that I could see her better, Panacea is a lot more attractive then I imagined. Not 'OMG I Got To Smash!' or anything more like… 'the girl next door' I suppose. Somewhat mousy and those freckles are adorable. It also didn't hurt that her smock was open showing off her figure, while not stacked she was definitely curvy.
Status
Objective Added
Get Panacea/Amy/Amelia in a leotard
Another objective I can get behind honestly.
”The hell!?” She muttered, jerking her hand away and massaging her forehead (data overload I suppose), ”Who the hell engineer's a horse??”
”I don't know.” I answered making her jump, ”Personally I would've preferred a more humanoid shape.”
Panacea looked at me owlishly but didn't say what I was expecting honestly, ”What the f_u_c_k are you??”
I just snorted at that, ”Complex” I said dryly, getting a glare from the Whitest of White Mages.
”No shit.” She shot, ”I can't see your bones or anything. But god it's like you were designed to evolve on a cellular level! You can heal insanely fast without worrying about cancerous growths or burning yourself alive from cellular activity! God… I got so many ideas now…”
Should I be scared? Aroused? Scaroused?
”So you wanna play doctor with the horsey?” I said, ”How about this… you help me with some surgeries and you can play with my genetics all you want.” God that sounded so dirty.
Panacea looked tempted, I could see d_e_s_i_r_e and panic in equal measures in her eyes, and immediately I recalled Carol's bullshit mentality and the toxic environment Panacea is living in. The girl is in desperate need for some form of release regardless if said release comes from a deep d_i_c_king or making an abomination to nature!
”I… I can't.” Panacea muttered.
”How about this… um what's your name?” I asked.
”Oh. Um Panacea when I'm on duty. Amy Dallon when I'm not.” She answered.
”Okay. How about this Panpan-” She didn't know if she should be amused or not at my nickname, ”-When I find a place to set up, how about I invite you over? You can help me install some bionics. And you can inspect my DNA all you want.”
”Did my sister somehow set this up?” Amy asked with narrow eyes, ”Figured that if boys didn't attract me she'd get animals!?”
”No! I didn't even know your name so how would I know your sister?” I asked, ”And hey different strokes for different folks. Kink-shaming is a sin in my opinion.”
And trust me in my mad download of data earlier I learned that s_e_x_u_a_lity in this world is very much lax and taboo makes this extra spicy. Though Beastiality is in a somewhat legally gray area and i_n_c_e_s_t is perfectly fine as long as no children are conceived.
”... Fine. As long as my sister can come.” Amy said, the unspoken 'as backup' didn't need to be said.
I just nodded in agreement, ”Well it's nice to meet you. I'll meet you here when I get everything set up.” I said before I trotted off.
Amy just watched as I trotted off and it might've been cheeky of me but I wagged my tail showing off my sizable balls. I have no idea how big they were but judging from a faint gasp I knew they were impressive.
I hope they were anyway.
Chapter 2
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Laying in her (drop-dead beautiful) sister's arms as she flew Amy's thoughts weren't for once focused on how right she felt being in her sisters' arms or how disgusting she felt for feeling such bliss, no instead she was thinking about the horse cape with the utterly impossible biology! The only comparison she even had was Crawler's biology.
(It's a fairly boring story actually. Crawler lost a limb in a clash between the m_a_s_o_c_h_i_s_t and some random heroes (or was it villains?). It was before his blood became highly acidic and they brought the limb for Panacea to see if she could learn anything from it. She didn't, all she got was a week of sleepless nights because the biology got her powers motor going.)
The only tenuous link between the horse and Crawler is that their evolution was reactionary, at least partially in regards to the horse. Whereas Crawler's biology (especially now given that the limb was from before she triggered!) is accurately summed up as 'loosely guided chaos and insanity' the horse's biology was carefully targeted and guided. Oh, she had no doubt the evolution could go wild if it was stressed to the breaking point but Amy couldn't imagine such a thing with the sheer amount of redundancies and contingencies coded into his very cellular structure.
And don't even get her started on his skeletal structure! It sure as hell wasn't bone but whatever it was it certainly got her power curious. Possibly some biometallic compound of some sort perhaps? Amy was sure she could recreate it in a limited fashion, but whatever else was in the horse she couldn't recreate it. Possibly some form of technology, Tinker tech most likely. Which honestly made Amy uncharacteristically worry for the horse's health.
After all implanted Tinker tech rarely leads to a healthy and happy life.
She'd only heard stories of course… which changed after she triggered.
Amy had seen some shit. And you'd think Biotinkers were the worst perpetrators.
(F_u_c_k_i_n_g Leet how has he not been killed or Caged?)
”Penny for your thoughts sis?” Vicky asked, looking at her sister, ”You're brooding more than usual.”
”Just lost in thought.” Amy answered, ”About a weird meeting I had with a cape.”
”He didn't try anything, did he!? Vicky asked with narrow eyes which made Amy tingle with excitement and disgust.
”No, it was just odd. I think his trigger really f_u_c_k_e_d up cause he's a horse.” Amy responded,
”A horse? Do you mean like a barnyard, Mr. Ed, an odd-shaped d_i_c_k type of horse?” Vicky asked, looking interested.
”... I am never looking at your browser history.” Amy deadpanned making Vicky giggle, ”But yeah. I came up and petted him thinking he's just a regular horse then… I couldn't even begin to describe what my power told me…”
”Need a smoke? You sound like you f_u_c_k_e_d him.” Vicky teased making Amy blush, ”So tell me what got your p_a_n_t_i_e_s all moist?”