Chapter 434 - My CO Stash #34 - This Goddess Must Be Crazy by Full-Paragon (MHAXKonosuba) (1/2)
-The only epidemic that weebs are looking to get/
Synopsis: A freak accident kills Izuku and his team during the UA Sports Festival. Fortunately, a goddess offers to resurrect him if he manages to save a fantasy world. Unfortunately, that Goddess is Aqua. Kazuma thought he was going to live a cushy retirement in the Divine Realm, but when an irate bird-boy chooses him as his bonus, the only way back to NEETdom is by saving the world. Again.Rated: T
Words: 188K
Posted on: fanfiction.net/s/13557542/1/This-Goddess-Must-Be-Crazy (Full-Paragon)
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Chapter 1
Truck-Kun Got Laid Off
So many people across America, er, Japan have been Spirited Away to other worlds that the CDC has officially classified it as an epidemic...This is a dangerous disease known as: Isekaitus.
Sweat trickled down Izuku's back, both from exertion and sheer nervousness. He adjusted the headband, feeling as though it should be heavier. Somehow, despite all odds, he'd managed it: he'd taken first place in the Sports Festival's obstacle course event. He was doing like All Might had told him: he was standing up and proclaiming ”I am here!”
Of course, he'd also painted a gigantic target on his back while doing so.
”This is going to be so great!” Mei Hatsume, one of Izuku's teammates cackled. ”By teaming up with the lead player, everyone will get to see my babies!”
”These are pretty cool,” Ochako Uraraka, Izuku's another of his teammates, agreed. ”But, do you really have to keep calling them that?”
”What else would I call them?” Hatsume demanded. ”Now, get ready, because I'm about to show you my best one!”
”We already have the jetpack and hoverboots, what else is there?” Izuku asked, adjusting the heavy equipment.
”This!” Hatsume declared, holding up a belt-like device with circular discs interspaced along it. ”The omni-directional repulsor belt! It uses gravidics to deflect incoming blows! Put it on, Midoriya, make sure everyone can see it clearly! With that on, no one will even be able to touch you!”
”Won't that keep us from being able to touch him?” Fumikage Tokoyami, the last of Izuku's teammates demanded.
”No, it only deflects blows at a sufficient velocity,” Hatsume clarified. ”Just activate it, and you'll be invincible!”
”That does sound useful,” Izuku agreed, taking the belt and strapping it on. He touched the buckle as directed by Mei, and it let out a soft hum.
There was no further time to think, as Present Mic sounded the beginning of the cavalry battle. Just as Izuku feared, nearly every team on the arena floor immediately attempted to attack him, going for the 1,000,000 point headband on Izuku's head that was worth more than a thousand times as much as the next most valuable.
”Now, Uraraka!” Izuku called, activating the jetpack.
”You got it!” Uraraka touched Izuku, activating her quirk.
Upon her doing so, several things happened at once. First, the belt that Hatsume had made did indeed operate using gravitational forces, but by being combined with Uraraka's quirk which nullified gravity, the emitters that controlled the belts gravitational exertions went into overdrive. Secondly, Uraraka's quirk created a sort of bubble around the rapidly expanding gravidic field, which immediately became superdense, temporarily many times more than that of the mass of the Earth. This created a miniature black hole almost instantly, right at the center of the UA Sports stadium.
No sooner than the black hole had formed than it ripped a hole in the space time continuum, temporarily overlaying one universe with thousands of others, and displacing everything and everyone caught within this field from the very fabric of their reality.
Oh, and it also immediately turned Izuku and his team into pancakes, killing them instantly. Whoops?
That was why, the next thing Izuku knew, he was sitting in a chair in a pool of light, blinking in surprise.
”What...what just happened?” he gasped.
His response was an immediate backhand upside the back of his head. ”You screwed everything up, that's what!”
”Ow!” Izuku cried. He looked up to see a very irate young woman stalking around the back of his chair. She snapped her fingers, and the light beneath them formed into a chair, which the girl sank down into, leafing through a stack of papers.
”Just look at this!” she complained. ”Do you have any idea how much trouble that little stunt of yours is going to cause? Not only did you manage to get yourself killed, which dooms your own timeline and world to a sad fate, but you also ripped a whole in space time that's going to cause an ENORMOUS mess for untold universes! Already, the Tomb World has spilled out and is starting to infect a dozen other worlds! Where am I going to find enough heroes to save them all! This is a lot of work that you've given me!”
The tirade washed over Izuku, leaving him feeling baffled and stunned as he rubbed the back of his head. ”Um, sorry, er, who are you, again?”
”Don't you mortals have any respect?! I'm a goddess, obviously! Aqua, the goddess in charge of Japan! Which means I'm in charge of YOU!” Aqua the 'goddess' ranted, looking up from her papers with an angry glare.
”Oh.” Izuku wracked his brains, but for the life of him, he couldn't figure out who this goddess was. She had blue hair, was dressed in an elegant blue dress with a skirt so short it was making it really hard for Izuku to pay attention. ”I'm, um, sorry, er, Holy One. But, um, what happened, exactly? I was just competing in the UA Sports Festival, I didn't mean to cause so many problems…”
”Well you did,” Aqua sniffed, uncrossing and crossing her legs again. Izuku worked very, very hard to keep his eyes on her face, and went beet red in embarrassment. ”I really ought to send you straight to hell, or have you reincarnated as a c_o_c_kroach!”
”Wait, I died!?” Izuku demanded.
”Haven't you been paying attention? Of course you died! That would have killed anyone!” the goddess shouted, waving her clipboard about in exasperation. Suddenly, a sly look came over her, and she lowered her clipboard, leaning towards Izuku with a gleam of mischief in her eye. ”Say, I bet you'd really like to avoid that fate, wouldn't you?”
”Um, yes?” Izuku stammered, leaning away from her and feeling very uncomfortable. Goddess she might be, but she looked like an attractive young woman who was invading his space in a way that made Izuku squirm in his seat.
”Well, I'll tell you what,” Aqua declared, putting a hand beside her mouth and whispering in a conspiratorial fashion. ”You do me a solid and save one of these worlds that your little accident screwed up, and I'll return you back to life, just like you were!”
”Um, OK? What, um, what do you need me to do?” Izuku asked, still trying to inch away from Aqua. For some reason, her breath reminded him of ch_i_p_s and soft drinks.
”Well, there's a world I'm in charge of that an old enemy of mine is invading. He's the Lord of the Tomb, and he's conquered his realm and is trying to invade some other totally innocent ones to bend to his will. Well, I'm not going to allow that! I'm going to do what I always do: Recruit a bunch of Japanese teenagers and send them off to beat him!”
Slowly, Izuku blinked, staring at the puffed up goddess. Was she insane? ”Let me get this straight: you send a bunch of ordinary high school kids off to defeat villains that can conquer entire worlds?”
”No, some of them are middle schoolers,” she huffed. ”Look, are you going to agree to this, or am I sending you to the bad place?!”
”No, I'll go,” Izuku assured her, making a fist. This Aqua might be crazy, but this was a second chance, and Izuku was going to be a hero, one way or another. ”After all, I have a really strong quirk now. I'll train hard, then defeat this Lord of the Tomb and save the world with a smile on my face!”
”Right sure, well, I'm even going to grant you a magic item or a powerful magic ability, because I'm nice like that,” the goddess said, and with a wave of her hand a catalogue appeared in the air, floating down into Izuku's hands.
”Oh wow,” Izuku gasped, looking through the pages. There were support items like suits of armor or weapons, or even special quirks like flame manipulation or protective barriers. ”You can do this? Give me another quirk, or a powerful weapon?”
”Huh? Quirk? No, it's magic. Surely you've read about this in video games and stuff right?” Aqua said, reclining in her chair and pulling out a bottle of alcohol from somewhere. She popped the cork, taking a long swing, then smacking her lips and sighing. ”Ah, I needed that! Seriously, you have no idea how much trouble you've caused me. You're lucky I'm willing to cut you some slack here.”
”Hmm,” Izuku mused, looking over the catalog. ”Well, what I really need is something to enhance one for all. A powerful healing item would be good, but I don't know if it will be able to keep up with me all the time.”
”Yeah, sure, whatever,” the goddess muttered. ”You do go on. Man, can't you just choose already?”
”Hmm, well, can I pick anything I want?” Izuku asked. ”What about things that aren't listed? This catalog is large, but I'd like to really think about this.”
”Yep, if you want something custom just let me know, those are just the presets, but as a goddess naturally I'm talented enough to make something if I have to,” Aqua said with a dismissive wave of her hand. ”You can even ask for a servant or something to help you.”
”Oh, in that case, what I really want is someone or something that has really powerful healing and support abilities, and knows a lot about this 'Lord of the Tomb,'” Izuku said eagerly. ”It would be helpful if they knew a lot about this world as well, someone to guide me!”
”Ok, one healing and support companion, coming up!” Aqua declared. She stood up, setting aside her bottle and made a grand gesture. A fountain of light splashed up, making Izuku gasp in surprise. As the light faded though, nothing happened.
”Oh no,” Aqua suddenly m_o_a_n_e_d. ”Oh no no no no. Not AGAIN!”
A magical circle appeared around them, and began to glow brightly.
”You dumbass!” Aqua screamed, jumping forward to grab Izuku by his shirt collar. ”You asked for a magical companion with super strong healing magic and support abilities, and could guide you?!”
”Um, yes?” Izuku said, trying to shy away from Aqua. She might be beautiful, but she was clearly also insane.
”That perfectly describes me! And I just granted your wish!” Aqua wailed. She dropped Izuku, running over to pound on the edges of the circle as they glowed brighter and brighter. ”Let me out! Let me out! I'm not going back again! You can't do this to me! I thought we closed that loophole!”
”Er, Aqua, what-” Izuku began, but then the circle suddenly flashed so brightly it blinded Izuku, and he raised an arm to cover his eyes. When the light faded, he found himself standing in a grassy field, with a wailing goddess flopping on the ground.
”Um, what just happened?” Izuku said, edging away from Aqua. ”Where's the magical companion you said I would get!”
”YOU IDIOT! GODDESS REQUIEM!” Aqua screamed. She jumped up, aiming a fist for Izuku's face. He easily dodged to the side as Aqua stumbled past him. When she charged again, Izuku stood his ground, catching her fist in his hand. She was strong enough that it made Izuku grunt, but even without One For All he'd been strength training for months and easily blocked the blow.
”What's...the big...deal,” Izuku gasped.
”YOU DRAGGED ME INTO AN ADVENTURE AGAIN!” Aqua screamed, tears flowing down her cheeks. ”You big stupid meany! I'm the most powerful healing and support object ever given to an adventure, and I know tons about this world and that stupid jerk invading it!”
”Oh,” Izuku said, frowning. ”Well, I guess you can just go back again if it bothers you so much. I can find a way to stop this villain on my own.”
”I can't! Not until we defeat the Lord of the Tomb,” Aqua sniffed. She knelt in the dirt, sobbing and m_o_a_ning. ”You're probably just another stupid NEET who never leaves his house and has all sorts of perverted fantasies! I bet you're not even smart like Kazuma was!”
Izuku stepped back, feeling both outraged and slightly ashamed at Aqua's display and accusations. ”H-hey! I'm not a NEET! I was enrolled in UA Highschool! It's the most prestigious Hero School in Japan, maybe even the entire world!”
”UA? I've never even heard of that! And why are you wearing a dumb track suit? Kazuma always said HE wasn't a NEET, but that was a filthy lie!” Aqua snarled, standing and glaring at Izuku.