Chapter 410 - My OC Stash #10 - If I Could Start Again by Taaroko (MCU) (1/2)
-Gots to be the best Second Chance!Thor fic i've read, the no slash is also a great addition~
Synopsis: Stormbreaker strikes Thanos a couple inches to the left of where it does in canon, with much more satisfying results. However, revenge alone won't fill the voids left behind by all that Thor has lost. Time travel canon-divergent AU. Heavy focus on the Brodinsons. No slash.
Rated: T
Words: 203K
Posted on: fanfiction.net/s/12962091/1/If-I-Could-Start-Again (Taaroko)
PS: If you're not able to copy/paste the link, you have everything in here to find it, by simply searching the author and the story title. It sucks that you can't copy links on mobile (´ー｀)
-I'll be putting the chapter ones of all the fanfics/originals mentioned, to give you guys a sample if you wan't more please do go to the website and support the author! (And maybe even convince them to start uploading chapters in here as well!)
Chapter 1-3 (exceptional)
Thor hurled Stormbreaker towards Thanos. It cut through the power of all the stones and struck just where Thor had intended: right at the left shoulder. He landed behind it and bared his teeth in a mirthless grin. This was not a joyous victory, but damn if it was not asatisfying one. The arm hung useless and Thanos's eyes were wide with pain and disbelief. ”I told you you would die for that,” said Thor. He pushed the axe even deeper until it severed the arm completely.
”You've doomed us all,” Thanos gasped. ”I would have saved the universe.”
”You call it salvation, slaughtering half of my people when they were already but a fraction of Asgard's numbers from mere weeks ago? Wiping out the dwarves and leaving only their king behind to suffer?” said Thor. ”You think yourself a just god, capable of making the hard choices, but there is nothing in you but cruelty. My brother was right. You will never be a god.”
Thanos tried to attack with his remaining hand, but with a mighty roar, Thor swung Stormbreaker again, this time for the neck. There was another spray of violet blood, followed by two more thumps. The Titan had fallen.
All around Thor, the battle was coming to an end. The gauntlet lay on the grass at his feet, still on Thanos's severed arm. The green gem in the thumb setting faced upward. Time.
He had stopped Thanos. He had gotten his revenge. What was left for him now but to go back to the refugees who'd fled with the Valkyrie? Surely there was nothing else he could do. And yet...
Thor wasn't really thinking. Someone was calling his name—Rogers, perhaps. People were realizing Thanos had fallen. Thor barely heard them. He used the point of Stormbreaker's purple-stained blade to pry the Time Stone free of the gauntlet, then bent down and picked it up.
”Thor, what are you doing?” It was the rabbit. ”You shouldn't be holding one of those things in your b_a_r_e hand.”
Thor ignored him. He clenched his fist around Time hard enough to drive it into his flesh. Burning green light erupted from between his fingers, growing steadily brighter. He could suddenly see his entire life stretching out behind him. All those centuries of taking everything he had for granted. He saw the future stretching out ahead of him too, in all its possibilities. Many of them showed cause for hope, but none showed the faces he longed to see again.
Dimly, he could hear voices shouting at him to let the Stone go, but he would not. He clung to it even tighter, though the pain was building. He turned his gaze to the past and yelled as he felt himself unraveling.
X
Thor felt a sensation not unlike a missing a step when going down stairs. He was no longer on the battlefield on Earth, being consumed by green fire; instead, he found he was sitting on the steps in one of the feast halls in the palace. There was an overturned table, with food, plates, and cutlery strewn all across the floor. ”What?” he breathed.
Soft footsteps came from behind, and when he turned and saw whose they were, he felt like he'd been struck in the c_h_e_s_t. Loki. Very much alive, though his hair was rather shorter than he was accustomed to of late. ”Brother?” he said, getting to his feet. ”Is this Valhalla?”
Loki stared at him in confusion. ”Valhalla? We are in Asgard. Why would you—”
He didn't get the chance to finish his question, because Thor had lifted him off his feet in a crushing hug. ”Thor! What are you doing?” Thor only hugged him tighter. His little brother was really here, solid and warm and breathing—well, perhaps he was holding on too tight for that last one, but he was alive.
And that wasn't all. ”What's this?!” Four people walked into the room, three of whom Thor had thought he would never see again. The tears that had begun building up the moment he saw Loki now flowed freely from his eyes—both of which he now realized felt like his own.
He was dimly aware of Loki managing to push him off. ”If not Valhalla, then surely this is a dream,” he said.
”Brother, what is wrong with you? I thought you would be cross about your coronation, not—”
”My coronation?” Thor repeated, and then he realized. He remembered flipping that table in his wrath. He remembered Loki coming around the pillar to sit with him, and then Sif and the Warriors Three entering. Right before they went to Jotunheim.
Right before it all went wrong.
Time. The Time Stone had sent him back. None of it had happened yet. And now, none of it had to.
An incredulous laugh burst its way out of him, and he dashed over to his friends, unable to contain his happiness at seeing them again. He hugged Fandral, Hogun, and Volstagg (causing the latter to drop his plate), and even Sif, for though she was not dead in his time, it had been years since he'd last seen her. She was the only one whose startlement didn't prevent her from hugging him back.
”Well,” said Fandral. ”You're certainly taking this setback better than we anticipated.”
”Yes,” said Volstagg, determinedly putting together another platter of food. ”It hardly seems the moment for such an outpouring of affection, not that I'm complaining.”
Thor paid no attention. He rounded on Loki. ”Where are Mother and Father? I must see them.” He ran a hand through his hair—which was no longer short. ”And Heimdall will be in the Observatory.” On impulse, he stuck out his right hand. He could already feel the familiar response. ”It's all still here.” Mjolnir flew into his hand, and he laughed again through his tears, tossing it up and catching it. It felt oddly small now, but so wonderfully familiar.
”Thor,” said Sif, touching his arm. ”Why do you speak as though...I don't know...as though you've been gone for years?”
”Because I have,” said Thor. ”The Norns have given me a second chance, and I intend to make the most of it.”
”What are you talking about?” said Loki. He had come around to stand beside the others. All five of them stood before him, exchanging bewildered and concerned looks.
”I don't know that you'd believe me if I told you. I'm still not sure I believe it myself.” He couldn't help staring around at absolutely everything. How had he never noticed how beautiful it all was? Home.
”You must let us decide that for ourselves,” said Hogun.
The smile slid from his face as the weight of everything he'd lived through returned to the forefront of his mind. ”My friends,” he said, voice full of emotion, one hand on Loki's neck, the other on Fandral's shoulder. ”I am not the callow fool who thought to sit upon Hlidskjalf today. I am the Thor of a most terrible future. In a mere handful of years since I first lived through this day, I have watched nearly all that I hold dear taken from me while I was unable to stop it.” His grips on them tightened. ”I have seen Ragnarok, and worse.” Their alarm greatly increased at this. Ragnarok was the worst fear of every Asgardian. ”But on my life, I will not let it happen this time.”
X
After that extraordinary pronouncement, Thor strode from the hall, leaving all of them dumbstruck in his wake.
”Can it be true?” said Sif faintly.
”You think he was lying?” said Fandral.
”Thor hasn't a single dishonest bone in his body,” said Volstagg thickly around a bite of cheese. ”As incredible as his claims were, he sounded perfectly sincere. I shudder to think what he has experienced. Worse than Ragnarok?”
”I don't think he was lying,” said Sif. ”But how can such a thing be possible?”
”You know more of magic than any other in Asgard, Loki,” said Hogun. ”What say you?”
”I have never heard of magic that can alter time,” said Loki. ”But that does not mean it's impossible. However, it is far more likely this is simply an imposter. What better way to engineer Ragnarok than by replacing or taking control of the Crown Prince?”
That possibility had plainly occurred to none of them, and they all looked horrified. ”Then how can we be certain he is truly Thor and under no fell influence?” said Sif.
”Leave that to me,” said Loki, and he left to follow Thor—or whoever he was. This evening was not going at all how he had thought it would. His little scheme with the Frost Giants had successfully delayed the coronation, and right now, he should have been guiding Thor towards something incredibly reckless that would finally prove to Father how foolish it would be to give him a throne. After Thor flipped the table over in his rage, it should have been but the work of a moment to do just that. Instead, in the blink of an eye, Thor had become a completely different man, one who described the Thor Loki knew as a callow fool and acted as though everything around him was wondrous, no longer remotely bothered by the botched coronation.
He caught up to Thor two corridors later, halfway to the throne room. Thor spotted him. ”Good,” he said, and he slowed his pace until Loki was at his side. ”There is much for both of us to discuss with Father.”
Loki stared at Thor intently. He probed with his seidr for any signs of foreign magics about him. There was nothing but the familiar crackling elemental energy that always resided beneath Thor's skin. And yet he was still acting nothing like Thor, even in the simple movements of walking. His stride wasn't a c_o_c_ky strut; rather, there was a quiet self-assurance to his step, and he carried himself with genuine regality, despite the way he kept looking at everything around them like he found it both painful and beautiful. Loki had planned to test the waters carefully, but instead he opted for a more direct approach. ”How can I be certain you are not some imposter in my brother's form?” he asked.
Thor smiled, but it looked pained. ”How would you have me convince you? Shall I recount stories of our childhood or our adventures together?” He asked it without a trace of uneasiness.
”That would be a start,” said Loki.
”Well, there was the time when we were children when I thought I had found the most magnificent snake, but then it turned into you, and you stabbed me.”
Loki had to bite back a laugh. Thor saw his reaction and chuckled. ”I told that story recently, and you had the same response to it then. Why did you do that? I know it was only the first of many oh-so-humorous stabbings, but I never knew what prompted it.”
”I hardly remember,” said Loki. ”I think we had been learning about some war where the victors won through subterfuge, and you declared that you would never fall for such tactics.”
”Ah, so you felt the need to prove me wrong,” said Thor.
”Naturally.”
”Was that satisfactory, then? Do you believe I am who I say?”
”It seems increasingly likely,” Loki admitted.
”Well, then there is something we must discuss before we see Father.” His tone had become rather stern all of a sudden, and he had stopped walking. The Thor Loki was used to never had the patience for something like sternness; when he disapproved of anything, he would either toss out an insult and then forget about it or else flash straight to anger. Even if this truly was Thor, merely older and wiser, Loki did not like being unable to predict his moods and actions.
”What would that be?”
Thor glanced around before saying in a low voice, ”I know it was you who let the Frost Giants into the vault.”
Loki only barely succeeded in not reacting. ”I don't know what you're talking about,” he said.
Thor laughed. ”If you're going to lie, at least put your usual skill into it.” Loki glared at him, now seriously weighing the merits of stabbing him. If he was really Thor, it would be excellent revenge for that remark. If not, he would have stabbed an enemy of Asgard. ”Don't worry,” Thor went on. ”I won't tell Father. I know your intentions weren't treasonous; you only wanted to delay my becoming king, and you were right. The Thor you know would have made a very poor king indeed.”
”You have a strange way of attempting to convince me you are Thor. He would sooner cut off his own hand than admit I am right about anything.”
”Experience has been a ruthless teacher. One of its lessons was that I would have done better to listen to my brother's counsel more.”
Loki stared at him. He'd stopped hoping he would hear words like that from Thor a long time ago. If this was an imposter, he was either extremely stupid or extremely clever.
”The first time I lived this day, by the end of it, I had started a war with Jotunheim and Father banished me to Midgard as a mortal in punishment. It was a punishment I sorely needed, but it meant that I was not here for you when you needed me most.” There was something beyond regret in his voice. Grief.
Loki felt a great sense of foreboding. When he needed Thor most? He suddenly remembered the first odd thing Thor had said, and the foreboding increased tenfold. What had happened? Was it the war with Jotunheim? Had he fallen in battle? ”Why did you think you were in Valhalla when you saw me?” he asked.
”Because…” Thor swallowed hard, and thunder rumbled outside. ”Less than two days ago for me, you were murdered before my eyes, and there was nothing I could do to stop it.”
Loki wasn't conscious of accepting that this was really Thor, but his hand found its way to his shoulder. Part of him had always believed his elder brother was indestructible and untouchable, the golden prince of Asgard renowned across Yggdrasil for his strength and valor, and the best Loki could ever hope for was to be the shadow trailing in his wake. He had never seen Thor hurting like this, and for all that he had schemed lately to keep him off the throne, the sight of him hunching inward as though he was nursing a gaping c_h_e_s_t wound was painful—more so even than the idea of his own death. ”I'm here, Brother,” he said. Somewhat awkwardly, as he hadn't been the one to initiate this in a long time, he pulled Thor into a hug. ”You have stopped it, don't you see?”
Thor let out an incoherent, guttural sound and returned the hug, his shoulders shaking. ”I swear to you, I will not fail you again.”
Chapter 2
Thor eventually mastered himself enough to release his hold on Loki. It was something of a surprise that his brother had allowed the embrace to go on so long, let alone initiated it, but it had gone a long way towards removing any doubts he still had that he was truly back in his own past with a chance to prevent the many calamities he'd lived through. It also gave him hope that things were not so broken between them already that they could not be mended.
Loki was watching him with his brows furrowed slightly in concern. It was hard to believe how much younger he looked. Had it really only been eight years since this moment? He shifted under Thor's gaze, fidgeting with his hands as he often did when anxious about something. ”Well, shall we go to Father, then, or are you going to stand there all night?”
Thor frowned. ”On second thought,” he said slowly, ”it might be best to wait until after the Odinsleep. As I have no intention of starting a war today, there is no immediate threat.”
”You? Second thoughts?” said Loki with a raised eyebrow and a smirk. ”You'll have me doubting your identity again if you keep this up.”
Thor gave a rueful chuckle. ”I'm sorry I cannot put you at ease by blundering my way forward like I always have. There is far too much at stake.” Including his relationship with his brother. He would not settle for merely preventing his death, and he would not make the same mistake he had apparently made all his life—that of assuming that everything was fine just because Loki voiced no discontentment. It had taken him quite a while after the destruction of the Bifrost to understand that his little brother had not simply gone mad over the course of three days. Happy people did not try to destroy entire planets just because they found out they were adopted.
”You don't even want to show off your sudden maturity to Father so that he will change his mind about cancelling your coronation?”
”No, Mother can be regent as usual. One more time will make little difference. Though perhaps I should recommend you for the throne instead.”
Loki's mouth fell open in a rather comical fashion, but he quickly snapped it shut again, his face reddening and his fists clenching. ”If that was a jest, it was not an amusing one.”
”It wasn't a jest!” said Thor, hastily stepping out of stabbing range, just in case. ”You are far more skilled than I in every area of statecraft. Politics, diplomacy, economics, strategy, negotiation.”
”That is not the point. Even if I wanted the throne, Asgard wouldn't have me!”
”Why not? You're as much a prince as I am.”
Loki gave him a look that was equal parts incredulous and withering. ”Perhaps you haven't gained any wisdom from your dark future after all, if you think the people would be just as content with the silver-tongued trickster ruling over them as their golden warrior prince, especially right after they turned out over a hundred thousand strong just to see you begin your first turn as regent. They would think I had used my 'cowardly sorcery' to usurp your place.”
Thor suppressed a wince. Loki's tone was one of disdain and indifference, but now that he knew to listen for it, he could hear the hurt it masked—the longing for recognition and approval he kept buried deep. Words full of bitterness, rage, and despair echoed through Thor's mind from another time. ”I never wanted the throne! I only ever wanted to be your equal.” Well, he'd just have to show him that he was.
He laid his hand on Loki's shoulder. He hoped he wasn't making him uncomfortable with the overflow of affection, but after what he'd been through, he wasn't likely to be able to contain himself any time soon. ”Brother, any who fails to see your worth is a fool, and I am ashamed that there were times when I was such a fool, even though it's been your sorcery saving my and our friends' lives every other adventure we've ever gone on. I might be the king our people think they want, but you are much closer to being the sort of king they need.”
Loki scowled and shrugged Thor's hand away, but the blush on his pale cheeks told him that he had taken his words to heart, no matter how begrudgingly. ”Pretty words, particularly coming from you, but you're still the firstborn, so don't think you can just dump your responsibilities onto me just because you're finally aware of how unprepared you are to shoulder them.”
They began walking in the direction of the family wing of the palace. The first few minutes passed in comfortable silence. Thor continued to drink in every detail of their surroundings, torn between utter joy that it was still here and anguish over his memories of its destruction.
”Do you truly no longer d_e_s_i_r_e the throne?” Loki asked eventually. Thor looked at him, and Loki raised his hands. ”What? All our lives, it's been 'when I'm king' this and 'when I'm king' that, and now you're not even bothered that I brought Frost Giants to Asgard to sabotage your first regency, and you'd rather Mother or I sit on Hlidskjalf in your stead. Forgive me if I'm having trouble wrapping my head around that.”
Thor ran a hand through his hair, still not used to having it at this length again. ”I'll take it if I must, and I'll do my best to rule our people well and protect them, but the thought gives me little joy.” He smiled, thinking back to his memories of this day. ”I remember you asking me if I was nervous before the coronation.”
”Yes, and you laughed me off.”
”I did,” he agreed, ”but I should have told you why. Part of it was arrogance and my lack of a true understanding of what it means to rule, but the small part of me wise enough to be nervous was still at ease because I knew I'd have you by my side to make up for the ways in which I might fall short. I may have done a poor job of showing it, but I have always been proud to have you as my brother and my friend.”
”Dear Brother, what has happened to turn you so soft?” Loki said it in a tone of mock disgust, and the pleased blush was back, but Thor felt a pang, remembering when he had hurled almost identical words at him in scathing disdain and rage.