Chapter 148 - My CO Stash #48 - Unexpectedly, My Otherworldly Fantasy Adventure Goes Right by Taine (OregairuXFireEmblem) (1/2)

-Luckyy~ just when I started getting hooked on Fire Emblem, I find an Oregairu/FE fic!

*I'm really glad that our favorite cynic Hachiman didn't join the Shepherd for the ”canon” plot sake and surprisingly Robin too.

Sypnosis: After the end of his second year, Hikigaya Hachiman wakes up in his pajamas on a field. He is not alone. In a world filled with knights, magic, and Undead, Hachiman has only one option: get the hell out of there.

Rated: K+

Words: 140K

Posted on: forums.spacebattles.com/threads/unexpectedly-my-otherworldly-fantasy-adventure-goes-right-oregairu-fire-emblem-awakening.777661/ (Taine)

PS: If you're not able to copy/paste the link, you have everything in here to find it, by simply searching the author and the story title. It sucks that you can't copy links on mobile (´ー｀)

-I'll be putting the chapter ones of all the fanfics mentioned, to give you guys a sample if you wan't more please do go to the website and support the author! (And maybe even convince them to start uploading chapters in here as well!)

Chapter 1

Predictably, Hikigaya Hachiman Refuses.

It was not a strong feeling like pain, where actual damage was done, but it wasn't a total lack of distress either.

It was the way your body told you that something was wrong with your organism and that it needed attention, but not in an urgent manner.

Following this sense was, in more cases than one, advisable, and the most sensible course of action to take.

Therefore, I followed my bodies advice and I, Hikigaya Hachiman, woke up.

Then I stopped.

The discomfort was still there, of course. The only thing I did was open my eyes and stare at the ceiling.

However, I didn't take any further step to relieve the discomfort.

Not because I was the sort of deviant that would lead my parents to hang their heads in shame, but because of the ceiling. Or better, the lack of it.

I was staring at the sky now; it was blue and limpid, with a gentle breeze and only some clouds partially covering the sun, preventing the celestial body from blinding me with his light.

However, the problem was, I shouldn't be seeing this. I shouldn't even feel discomfort, now that I think about it.

Right now, I should be in my bed. A very comfy bed, if I might add! I should be peacefully sleeping my stress and fatigue away!

Not being… wherever I am now.

How did I even get here? An abduction? A prank?

If it is the latter, it's a pretty serious prank, you know?

Whoever did this should know that kidnapping a teenager from his comfy bed and then abandoning him in the middle of nowhere is a legally pursuable action, you know?

That is, if they didn't have my parents consent. But that was impossible. Overworked corporate slaves they might be, but I know they loved their children.

Well, they for sure love Komachi, but I'm pretty sure that they love me too, at least enough to not abandon me. That's a certainty.

I decide to get over it and find out where the hell I was: raising to my feet, I analyzed my surroundings.

And then I realized, with a bit of panic, that my early thought was literal: I was, incredibly, in the middle of nowhere.

So here I was, in the middle of nowhere, with no civilization in sight.

My eyes locked on the figure three meters at my right.

At least, I wasn't alone.

The thought was strangely comforting. Seeing the prone form of another human being when you find yourself in an unexpected and scary situation was comforting.

Who knew?

On one hand, this setting was suspicious: waking up with only another person, a woman, on top of a hill is a very suspicious setup.

If this isn't a trap of some kind, I didn't know what it could be.

Well, it could be the start of a very shitty light novel. I've read my fair share of horrible 'wake up in another world' setting, with crappy explanations and crappiest execution.

On the other hand, even if this is a set-up, the woman should know where we were.

Clearly, we weren't in Chiba anymore.

Therefore, I did the only sensible course of action that a kidnapped victim would do: I approached an unconscious woman to ask for clarifications.

…

Damn, that sounded like a horrible course of action.

No matter though.

Now that I was close to the woman, I could better discern her features.

She was, oddly enough, an albino. And not some fake one like a certain chubby wannabe writer.

She was the real deal, with her hair set up in twin tails and delicate features that rather remind me of Yukinoshita.

The rest of his body was certainly different for the Ice Queen I knew.

First of all, she was more… developed than her. But more importantly, she wore something that Yukinoshita would never be caught wear if not on her dead body: a large coat ornate with purple signs and what seemed like golden laces. Under that, there was some tunic.

Like every girl I have met in the last year.

Is this a sign of the Gods of the RomCom? Is she my designated one that will help me to overcome this trial in this strange place, falling in love with each other and having a happy ending?

Yeah, I should just wake her up.

”Oi!” I called.

The girl shifted slightly and m_o_a_n_e_d in annoyance, but didn't open her eyes.

A fellow heavy sleeper uh? Shame, companion, I'm sorry to interrupt your wonderful rest.

As a fellow nap lover, I feel pity and regret, because the technique that I'm going to use on you is a fearsome one.

You should feel honored though. It's a technique passed down from mother to daughter in the Hikigaya family, a move that I endure every morning from my adorable little sister.

A technique polished by me to maximize the wake-up effect and reduce at minimum the level of discomfort and annoyance!

”Oi, wake up!” I repeated, using the legendary Hikigaya Secret Move of gently, but firmly shaking her body.

Indeed, what you feel is not a simple shake! It's a shake that rattles your bones but doesn't rudely interrupt you from your sweet dreams, permitting a sure but peaceful awakening!

And, right on cue, the family technique seems to do the trick.

Very slowly, the girl opened her eyes. When she noticed me looming over her, she seemed confused. Strangely, she didn't seem to question my presence.

”You shouldn't sleep on the ground. There are better places where take a nap. Like a bed.” Or, more specifically, my bed.

No wait, that came out wrong!

…

God, I wish I was in my bed now. It's a very comfortable bed.

Confused, the girl just nodded at my declaration and then started to search for something in her immediate surroundings. Probably some of her possessions.

”I-I…see…” she eventually answered, her voice hoarse.

The silence that followed was… awkward, even for a seasoned loner like me.

I cringed internally and, slowly, I extended my hand to her.

Hesitantly, the strange girl took it and I helped her stand up.

”Uff” I grunted, almost falling on her for the surprisingly excessive weight of her relatively smaller body.

Shamefully, I was that out of shape.

I would have guessed that helping out a certain foxy junior so much would whip me in an approximation of a good shape.

Father, I apologize for this poor excuse of a son that isn't even capable of basic courtesy towards a woman.

”T-thank you…” she said, interrupting my depressing monologue and returned my attention to the girl in front of me.

I nodded, simply accepting her thanks like every polite young Japanese man.

Now, time to question the girl.

”Do you know where are we?”

The girl blinked, maybe surprised by the sudden inquiry, but nonetheless, she looked around to try to orientate herself, searching for some landmarks.

Unfortunately, even before I could get an answer, the crestfallen and irritate frown on her face was an answer enough.

Did she get bumped here too?

”You too uh…” I murmured, disappointed of the predictable outcome.

She looked at me, wide and teary eyes pleading at me to show her some answer. She was really cute. Unfortunately, not even Totsuka level of cuteness could help me in this situation.

”You have some idea? Uuh…”

”Hikigaya Hachiman.” I absently presented myself.

I searched my surroundings again, trying to piece some sort of information and/or course of action.

”The only thing I can think of is to follow the road. A road will bring us to civilization.” I finally said, looking back at her, feeling the disappointed frown on my face.

Not that it was that different from my standard expression, with my eyes rich of omega-3.

The strange girl tilted her head in affirmation, and immediately, we started our walk across the forest.

”So… Hikigaya… it's an… unusual name. I'm…” she said, hesitant to complete the sentence. I could relate to her reluctance.

Giving her name to the creepy boy who found you on the top of a hill isn't exactly the first thing that I would recommend my sister to do. Or any girl to do.

Not that my sister would even consider to do it in the first place. Komachi was a smart girl, the proud second in command of the Hikigaya Household.

We raised her to be better than this.

”…R-Robin…?” she concluded in the end.

Blinking at the last words, I let my mind race. A western name? It's a fake one? That's… improbable.

She didn't have Japanese features, and she is a natural albino.

But again, only because she gave me a western name, didn't mean it's hers.

”First name Hachiman, the family name is Hikigaya, in case you didn't know Japanese costume.” I explained.

She seemed to accept my explanation gracefully, and settled to ask:

”Hachiman, are we in this… Japane?”

What kind of question was that?

I gave her a glance, arching my eyebrows. Is this girl stupid or something?

She talks like she didn't even hear the name of the country she lives in!

After all, it was impossible that we got shipped out of the country. If this was a prank, it would be too much.

Besides, I'm pretty sure that the airport control would have stopped whoever would have dragged my unconscious body there. Same things for sh_i_p_s, if they were even an option. I refuse to believe that I was out for more than some hours.

And what the hell is the first name basis, woman?

”Expatriate two unconscious body would be impossible without alert the customhouse, and incredibly costly. And I don't know anyone that rich that would do this to me.”

I made sure of that. Yukinoshita notwithstanding.

But she wouldn't go that far. That girl simply does not have a sense of humor.

”And, you are talking Japanese, you know?” I added, letting an ounce of sarcasm filter.

The odd albino didn't seem to catch the sarcasm though, or maybe she is more capable of hiding her emotion than she let on, but she just nodded, accepting the answer at face value.

Having concluded the interrogation, the two of us fell in silence, deciding to limit ourselves to follow the stone path, with only the sound of Mother Nature keeping us company.

I never was a talkative person, especially with strangers and girls, so the silence wasn't uncomfortable or aggravating for me, and while I couldn't talk for my improvised companion, now she seemed busy mulling over her situation.

Time passed, and while I greatly appreciated the extended period of silence like every other loner, my current predicament made relaxing difficult.

So I decided to follow my companion lead and think over the situation at hand. Or, more specifically, what I have to overcome this situation.

A cell phone…. A cell phone! Why didn't I think of that sooner!?

What am I, a retarded character from a lazy light novel?

I hurriedly checked my pockets, but I soon realized one important thing that I overlooked in the event.

My clothing.

Because I wasn't wearing any casual clothes right now. Nor was I wearing my school uniform like any shitty light novel protagonist out there.

No, I was in my pajamas. Which make sense, since the last thing I remember was falling asleep.

And since I'm not a weirdo, I don't go to sleep in my school uniform.

So the pranksters and soon to be jailbirds just plop me here, without having the decency of changing me in a more optimal wardrobe.

On second thought, maybe it's better they didn't touch me. Didn't want some of the weirdos to strip me n_a_k_e_d.

I would lose my innocence!

I couldn't get married anymore!

At least, they had the foresight to wear me one of my pair of shoes.

I hate the a_s_s a little bit less for this.

In the end, I was in pajamas (and now I get Robin's hesitance. Why follow a weirdo in pajamas?), and I got nothing on me that could be useful.

I growled in irritation, catching the attention of the fellow traveler, but at her curious look, I just shook my head in negation.

No use in telling her this.

And so, time passed. It could be minutes, or it could be hours, but in the end, Robin broke our silence and spoke up again:

”Hachiman? Where are you from?”

I squirmed in discomfort at her way of addressing me. Definitely western.

Damn them and their costumes. Why call everyone with our first name right when we just introduced each other?

Do your race have anything that resembles the concept of personal space?

Externally, I simply took a moment to collect my nuisance and answered ”Chiba.”

Then, thanks to years of parental training and cultural brainwashing, my mouth replied with all the politeness that the situation could allow me: ”You?”

Robin took some time to answer my improvise question. She seemed hesitant.

Was she really that reluctant to talk with me? Lady, you shouldn't have bothered if this was difficult for you.

”I-I…I don't know…” she finally answered.

What? ”What?” I snapped in stupor, stopping abruptly my walk to turn around and face her. She stopped too and fidgeted, looking at me with big, panicked eyes, and explained:

”I don't remember, Hachiman! I… I don't…” she screamed, hysteria slowly starting to take over on her.

She sobbed. Oh God, was she crying? Why was she crying? I'm not good with crying girls!

In a panic, I tried to do something, everything to make her just stop, because God, this was so not the time for me to suddenly train my empathy and social competence!

”H-hey j-just calm down ok? Robin, take a breath and tell me what is wrong and I will help you, ok? I promise!” I hurriedly said, grasping her shoulders and lightly shaking her to catch her attention.

Thankfully, the short and awkward speech seemed to have the effect I wanted, and the albino took few breaths, stopping crying.

I released a brief breath of relief, and, slowly, I let her shoulders go.

Robin looked to me, still a bit wavered, but now without tears, and she murmurs an explanation.

”I… can't remember anything Hachiman. My name just came out after a bit of thinking, but everything else… I… Hachiman the first thing I remember is waking up with you!”

She started to panic again, but a hand on her shoulder seems to do the trick, again.

What the hell was this development!? An amnesia? Seriously? Could we get more in some overdone book cliché?

It's this one of your works Zaimokuza, you delusional bastard?

Was she trying to fool me? Why though? Why now and not before? Who should put her on this overcomplicated joke? What was happening?

But before I could even began to express my fear, I heard a periodic and constant sound. Like footsteps, but more loud and frequent.

”Do you hear that?” I asked, suddenly a bit hopeful.

Footsteps meant people! And people means someone that end this cruel joke!

The girl took a moment to compose herself and hear the sound.

”Clopping… a horse.” She answered briefly, an expression of absolute concentration replacing the previous panic.

Oi Robin, what is this sudden shift in mood? Are you a professional actress? A hardened warrior that can change emotion when sense battle approach? Just pick one personality and stick with it dammit!

But I had no time to comment on this sudden development because, right on cue, on the road appeared a group.

And my hopes died with their appearance.

The group had to be made of cosplayers. Because who else would go around in the woods on a horse and wearing something like that?

Two men and a woman… or maybe a girl, because the girl looked like she was Komachi's age.

One of the men, what it looked was the oldest of the group, was on a horse. He seemed in the middle of his twenties.

However, the kicker was his clothes: he was cladded of armour from neck to toe, letting me saw only his face, scolded in a stern and severe expression.

Yes, the man seemed cosplaying as a generic knight from an inaccurate generic fantasy manga or novel.

The other man… oh God, it was cosplaying as a damn prince from said light novel or manga: the only piece of armour that he wore was a… back armour? Shoulder armour? I didn't know, but he seemed that he was wearing only that piece of metal at his left shoulder, letting his entire right arm completely exposed and n_a_k_e_d.

If he was a knight, why wearing so little protection? Are you an idiot? Wait, I can see your dumb smile from here, so yeah, I bet you are cosplaying as an idiot!

Clearly, he was in the part of the protagonist of whatever show they were posing as, like the unrealistic but strangely appropriate blue hairs of the guy was suggesting.

The girl, in comparison of the two, was… relatively normal. I never bragged to be an expert of history, more so of western history, no matter how much my Dark Times would suggest otherwise, but I could guess that the blonde girl was wearing a Renaissance form of clothing, with yellow and white as the basic colour scheme.

To complete the fantasy setting of the group, the girl couldn't have any other accessories aside of a fancy staff with a particular glass orb on the top of it.

Of course, the girl couldn't be other than a healer.

Overall, they were clothed as general video game characters, common enough that you could place the setting of the story at a glance but distinguished enough to stick in the memory.

Clearly, whoever designed those characters is on a whole other level in contrast to the pathetic piece of trash that Zaimokuza has the balls to subjugate my club mates and me weekly.

Noticing us, the girl perked up and started indicating excitedly.

”Look, Chrom! People!” she practically screamed in excitement.

Damn it! They were one of those types of cosplayers!

The blue-haired man, maybe just a year older than me, noticed us and smiled back at the girl: ”That they are, Lissa. How lucky of us.”

He then put on his disgustingly charming smile and waved amicably at the two of us.

I bet that you trashed hours upon hours to practice that smile, didn't you, prince?

”Hello there, travellers!”

I barely stopped a scowl at his easy-going attitude.

The man on the horse glanced at us, adopted a wary expression, and then looked at his two companions.

”My lord, Milady, I recommend caution with these strangers. While they seem innocuous, this could be the set of an ambush.”

I snarled at the comment. He didn't even bother to lower his voice. Yeah yeah, we get it, you are his loyal servant. Don't bother with this.

The man, 'Chrom', raised his eyebrows, clearly disappointed, but he gave a smile to his faithful companion nonetheless.

”Peace, Frederick. They seem innocuous civilians, odd choice of clothing aside.”

I grimaced. Like you are one to talk, going through a forest with ridiculous clothing of an imaginary character.

So, I'm in pajamas and the girl has a strange coat, but we were abducted! What's your excuse?

Oh, you are doing it just for the fun of it? Who are you trying to fool, you're just trying to elevate yourself as an overpowered character to feel better of yourself and your boring life!

Unlike you, I've already overcome that dark phase of my life, and my parents have instilled the right shame that I should have of that period in me!

When will you stop dreaming, and start working as a productive member of society?

Robin gasped and gulped, evidently surprised of the improvise company, interrupting my ranting.

Now that we were close to the group, I was expecting that she was going to explain the situation. Seeing her just looking at the group, open her lips to talk and then snapping it close like a goldfish, I decided to take the initiative.

”We're lost. Someone abducted the two of us, making us unconscious and dropped us on a field one hour from there.” I explained.

Yeah. Short, concise and without possibility of misunderstanding.

Oh, you say I should greet them and introduce ourselves? Cut the crap, we have no time for those cosplayers! I just want to go home!

The girl, 'Lissa', gasped in horror at the brief tale, but I continued to share, hoping to receive a straight answer.

”We're trying to return home. So could you please direct us to Chiba?”

Just when I finished speaking the last word, the younger girl sprinted in front of us, worry written all over her face, and she started fretting.

”Oh Naga! Are you all right? Any of you are injured?”

While Robin simply shook her head, assuring her that no, we were uninjured and they simply took everything from us, 'Chrom' grimaced, clearly unhappy with the grim news.

”I'm sorry to hear that friends…” I'm sorry, what have you called me now? ”But unfortunately, I personally don't know of a village named Chiba.” He explained, putting on a sorrowful expression.

Well, that's irritating. Even after our serious tale, they are going to continue staying in character. Have they exchanged us for fellow cosplayers? While I could understand taking Robin for one of them, is really my pajamas that strange? Are they idiots? Why should we enact a cosplay scene here in the middle of the woods?

Ok, fine. I'll play along. At least you are trying to be helpful.

But only because I have no time for this charade! And because you are good at this. Impressive really.

Not that I'll ever tell you.

So, biting back a furious growl, I took a deep breath and… just tried to follow their lead.

”I see. Thank you for your assistance, Prince Chrom. Could you possibly tell me and my companion Robin where this path will conduce me and my companion?” I asked slowly and steadily, hesitant to use such a form to talk with those insufferable weirdos.

A satisfied and happy smile crossed the face of the 'prince', clearly relieved

Oi, don't look so happy and dashing just because I decided to play along with your little theatre. How selfish can you be, forcing two victims of kidnapping to satisfy your disgusting fantasy?

Alas, the blue-haired man actually answered us with some… news:

”You're lucky, friends. Following this road will lead you straight to the capital, Ylisstol. On feet, you'll need only another four hours of walking to reach the destination, but I heartily advise you to stop and rest for the night. You'll be there in the morning.”

I grimaced and resisted the urge to sigh at the news. Another four hours of travel, with no car and only our feet? Why me?

And why did you even change the name of your city dammit?

Using the original name would be fine too! Names are just a part of the immersion, the importance lays in the context!

That's when the girl, 'Lissa' interrupted my internal rant. Why was everyone doing this to me today?

”Oh, hey mister! How do you know that Chrom is a prince but not that I'm the princess?”

Because of course the two of you are related. Why not?

Actually, I can see some resemblance in their features.

No, wait, back on track.

”Indeed, Milady is right. I too am curious on how two lost travellers would know such important information.”

I rolled my eyes at the improvise input of the knight.

Really? Now, are we doing that type of scene?

Even after I told you what happened to us?

That is… not normal.

No matter how dedicated a person could be to his cosplay, you are bound to slip out of your role.

Because it is just that. A role. An act. A mask to protect yourself. After our story, they should have at least flinched, slipped and start talking normally.

They shouldn't assume that they were fellow cosplayers. I was in pajamas!

This kind of dedication could mean only one thing…

Damn, they're delusional!

Shit, ok, calm down Hachiman. Take a deep breath and answer to the crazy man with the fake spear that would probably not hesitate to stab you if you displease him.

I said calm down, damn it!

”Because, Sir Frederick, I have a semblance of a brain.”

I flinched, hearing my words, harsher and more insulting than I intended them to be, but I quickly rushed my explanation, hoping that my not-so-hidden insult went unnoticed.

”First off, let's talk about his… armour. Its… lack of defensive equipment shows me that this man is the type of fighter that prefers quick and powerful blow, using for the most part hit and run tactics. While this doesn't prove anything, the lack of protection also shows me that he is strong enough to apply this reckless fighting style, but most of all, it shows in his clothing.

Those are the major tellers because of the design and the material are of really high quality, putting his rank at least at the level of major nobility.”

I explained. In reality, a lot of what I said was really talking off my a_s_s, whit shards of knowledge coming from my experience with light novels. Generally, every competent author reflects the characteristic of their major character in their clothing.

Basic really.

For some reason, the group was aghast of my explanation. Shit, have they found out? No matter, let's continue.

”The second reason is yourselves and the young girl here. Excluding the obvious title and respect that you put on your Lord, both your clothes and armours have similar individualities, even if to a lesser degree, showing me that he pays and personalizes not only his equipment, but even others. This can only put him in a state of high nobility, at minimum.”

'Frederick' looked like someone had just punched him in the stomach, while 'Chrom' and 'Lissa' were somewhere between scared and respectful.

I should give them that, their acting skills are top-notch. If I didn't know better, I would believe that they were surprised from this. That or, as dreaded, they really were delusional.

'Frederick' was quick to recover from his stupor and continue his act as the wary guard.

”But everything you said didn't point out at him being a Prince.”

My breath stopped, and I had the distinct impression that I was going pale.

Hoping to hide it, I sighed, shaking my head.

Just make yourself appear secure Hachiman.

”Of course. Because the last clue I got was from the mark.” I concluded indicating his right arm.

”That is clearly a birthmark. It's too clean to be a self-inflicted scar and I don't see any kind of mark that indicates a tattoo. While the significance of the symbol is lost to me, it is a well-defined sign, so it's impossible to be some sort of random stain.”

I concluded, giving the 'knight' my best smile at the end of the speech.

”It is all clear, Sir Frederick.” I asked, hoping to not sound too smug.

Again, I wasn't sure if they were crazy or not, but it's better to play safe for now.

'Sir Frederick' ground his teeth at the hidden insult, but aside from that, he didn't show any other reaction, remaining the complete image of composure, limiting himself to simply nodding.

Good acting, I'll give you a 7/10. Normally, at this point, I should have a lance at my throat. But I appreciated your composure on the matter.

I looked at Robin, that until now didn't bother to talk, only to find her looking at my with a mix of surprise, admiration and… kinship? Really, her look made me feel uncomfortable.

The boss of this little theatre was still a little surprised, but he quickly recovered his wits.

Happy, he looked at me, then at Robin, giving us a charismatic smile.

10/10 for the smile, 'prince', even better than that sociopath's smile.

But you're posing as a damn raiju, and you are probably a psycho so you got a 6/10 for effort.

”You see Frederck, not every person we meet are out to kill us. There is a perfectly logical and admittedly impressive explanation, that doesn't fall in an attempt on our lives or a possible spy. I am really surprised that you gathered even my fighting style only from my clothing.”

The knight nodded but decided to not answer to his companion. Zeroing his eyes on me, he shot a quick and suspicious glare but didn't bother to do anything else.

Internally, I sighed in relief.

We were clear.

That's when the young cleric decided to speak again, trying to justify the behavior of the knight:

”Don't worry guys, just ignore him for now. Frederick the Wary is just slow to open up to others. Very slow. But wow, that was impressive!” she said merrily, a bit of awe still filtering in her tone, like the youthful healer that she pose as.

Or she thinks she was.

”Yes, please, excuse our friend. He is doing his job, even if often he tends to go… overboard.”

Shees, guys I get it. There is no need to justify the character he is impersonating.

I would have found you irritating even if you wouldn't have done that. Nothing personal.

I simply nodded at the two, while Robin, finally remembering that yes, she had a voice, hastily said:

”O-of course Your Highness! We're sorry for the disrespect, we understand that such wariness is necessary for your protection. Right Hachiman?”

I just nodded.

'Chrom' laughed, and shook his head in negation at her declaration.

”Do not worry with formalities, Lady Robin. Calling me Chrom is fine.”

Robin blushed. I blinked in confusion at her reaction.

”O-only, if you call me Robin, Chrom.”

I scowled. Were they… were they just flirting? It couldn't be, right? She couldn't… now. Back on track, now!

”Anyway, prince Chrom…”

”Please, just Chrom Mr. Hachiman.”

You don't get to call me on first name, bastard. You're not a cute girl. Or Totsuka.

”…Chrom. Thank you for the indications, but I believe it is time to part away. We would not stop you from your duty. Unless my companion does not d_e_s_i_r_e to join in your errands.”

I droned in monotony, trying to stop the annoyance from slipping in my voice.

Frankly, I feared that I was getting too much the hang of this manner of speech. I should have forgotten all about this chuuni bullshit, so why am I so good at this?

Hearing me, Robin frowned. She quickly shot a glance at me, and, to my brief surprise, she seemed scared by the suggestion.

What's the problem? I thought you liked him or something, right?

”Hachiman! Why would I do that?”

I briefly blinked, surprised by the heat behind the comment.

”You seemed to enjoy their company.” I honestly answered.

Besides, I thought they were your friends? I mean, with her clothes being so similar in style… Maybe she is from the same convention? But if that's true, how did she find herself on the field without memory?

Too much alcohol? Was she drugged and mugged?

I grimaced in disgust at the last thought. If that was the case, I prefer don't know or think about it.

”No, no! I… would rather prefer to come with you.” She answered. I nodded my acceptance.

Her choice, really.

I was to walk away, but then the voice of the 'Prince' interrupted me.

”Wait! Before you go, may I ask you if you have spare money on you?”

The comment hit me like a rejection from the girl you have a crush on.

He was right! How could I not think about it? No normal clothes mean no wallet, no wallet equals no money, and no money equals no means to survive in the city!

I turned to look at Robin, who by now was finishing browsing inside her cloak, probably searching for some yen.

As much as I despised being in debt with someone else, especially if that someone is a person I met no more than hours ago, this was an emergency.

When she looked back at him, she shook her head.

Damn it. Of course. She was mugged.

Noticing our interaction, Chrom smiled at us: ”That wouldn't do, my friends. Despite I myself have not much money, I think I could help you nonetheless.”

He then turned to the knight in full armour, and asked:

”Frederick, could you please give me ink and paper?”

”Of course, Milord.” He nodded readily, and, with a practiced motion, he reached for the purse hanging from the side of the horse.

With ease, he took from the bag paper and… a bottle of ink and a feather?

No way! He wouldn't do that, right? He wouldn't actually start writing a letter, with ink and feathers nonetheless! There is dedicated, and there is stupidly absurd!

I was immediately proven wrong, as the man actually started writing with this dated method!

That was, without doubt, pretty impressive.

It was also the last straw that convinced me that they were at least a bit crazy, if not psycho, people that would literally stab us at a wrong word.

”Hey Chrom, what' cha doing?” the girl asked, leaning towards her...friend? Brother?

She peaked in the letter.

”A letter to Emm, Lissa. I know she will help them start anew once arrived in Ylisstol.” He explained.

Frederick immediately scowled: ”If I may, Milord, I strongly suggest against this course of action. Sending two strangers without affable background to Lady Emmeryn…”

The prince sighed, interrupting the knight, and finished the short letter. Turning towards us, he gave the letter to Robin. She quickly checked the insides and nodded at me.

I don't know what that gesture was about, but I nodded back, just in case.

Meanwhile, 'Chrom' was explaining to his friend his reasons. ”Frederick, I understand your concern, but look at them. They're harmless. Mr. Hachiman doesn't look much like a fighter, and while Robin could be potentially dangerous, she is just one person. Do you really think that they could bypass all the guards that you personally train and Phila?” he said, giving us an apologetic look.

I shrugged, and Robin smiled at him, trying to convey our total lack of care of his suspicions.

'Frederick' took a moment to reconsider his 'lord's' explanation. In the end, he nodded in understanding, sending us a glance. Strangely, this time was not suspicious or angry.

”I see. While I do not completely condone this course of action, I can see the wisdom of your choice, Milord. Yet, I have to advise to not send to the Exalt every incognito we meet. No matter how meek they seem.”

Really 'Frederick'? Rubbing salt on my wound? I know I am not the most physically fit person around, but this is just mean and petty for a knight such as yourself.

'Chrom' nodded satisfied, and smiled at his friend: ”Your suggestion is appreciated. I have no intention to make this a habit.”

The knight nodded and smiled, pleased with the decision of his 'prince' and, turning again towards us, he said with a severe tone:

”Very well. I expect the two of you to be on your best behavior in the presence of Lady Emmerin.”

I nodded. I sure gave a lot of nods in this conversation uh?

But 'Lissa' quickly interjected: ”Don't listen to him! She would be happy if you drop all the formalities when you are in private if she knows we sent you.”

Again, I nodded, unsure of how I should answer to such a different opinion.

I glanced to Robin for a save, but she was busy putting the letter inside her coat.

Wow, she had a lot of internal pockets!

She then said: ”We'll do just that. Thank you, Chrom, Lissa, sir Frederck. We would be lost without you.” she said honestly, bowing deeply.

I followed her example. Cosplay nuts or not, they were helping us, going as far as inviting us in their home.

They were exceptionally good people, if a bit on the crazy side.

Except 'Fredrick'. He was an asshole.

Now, there was only one problem to think about:

”How do we find her?” I neatly asked.

Robin's eyes went wide as plates, and she quickly smiled gratefully at me.

W-what is that smile? Stop smiling that gratefully, like some sort of lost puppy, woman! Start thinking for yourself!

The 'prince' nodded, crossing his arms in a contemplative manner.

”Of course, you are right Mr. Hachiman. But you will not need to search for her. You'll simply found her. She is very…distinctive.” He answered, strangely happy. No… he was proud.

He was extremely proud of his big sister. Of course, I could sympathize with the sentiment. I was proud of my cute little sister too.

Unfortunately, that cheesy comment wasn't that helpful.

Oi, just spouting cool lines wouldn't work here! Life isn't a manga, so vague shit isn't going to help us! Speak clearly, do you hear me?

Maybe my disappointment showed, or maybe it was Robin's unsure expression that gave those idiots the hint to elaborate.

In the end, it was 'Lissa' that gave us something more to work with.

”Oh! She has the same hair colour as me if that helps!” she proudly said.

Even if it wasn't anything helpful. But the cheery tone that used was making really difficult for me to not just praise her and pat her head.

Damn her, she is good to roleplay the little sister type! And damn my big brother instincts!

I have fallen for that foxy junior, but I will not fall for this unknown girl! Never again! Komachi is the only one for me!

Ah, that should be a lot of Hachiman points!

Wait, Komachi, why do I feel like if you heard this, you would be sad and disappointed?

'Chrom' decided to add another helpful advice.

”She is very imposing and charismatic. If you just follow the crowd, you will surely find her.”

Helpful being completely sarcastic. Gee, man, thanks for the help…

Of course, the stern character type became the most helpful in this situation.

”Lady Emmeryn walks every day through the town. You'll probably find her towards 12.00 in the central square, when she is getting back to the castle for her last duties before lunch.”

I blinked. Robin blinked. 'Chrom' and 'Lissa' didn't bat an eye, continuing smiling happily like this man didn't just explain their sister routine like an obsessive stalker.

”Ooook? Thanks for the help, Sir Frederick.” Robin eventually said, after a few seconds of awkward silence.

The creepy stalker just nodded serenely, and with peaceful a smile, he answered:

”You're welcome, Lady Robin, Mr. Hachiman.”

Quickly trying to forget the scene in front of me, I decided to try to reassume all the information we had of this 'Emmeryn'.

Decrypting the chuuni talk was easy enough, thanks to the practice I had with Zaimokuza, and, surprisingly, we had a good deal of hints on how to recognize her.

So we had an older woman that had the same hair color of 'Lissa', that goes regularly shopping with her friends in the late morning and with a good reputation with the local population.

The last part could easily be false or an exaggeration, but maybe asking around wouldn't be a bad idea.

Noticing that the conversation was over, Robin bowed again, thanking the group in front of us.

”Thank you again for your help, Chrom, Lissa, Sir Frederick. We're very grateful. Your help will not be forgotten.”

Again, I followed her lead and bowed to them. Thanks and bowing were free to give, after all.

It did help that I too, was grateful to the odd group.

Didn't mean that I would stay around this delusional psychos more than I needed. I like my body without additional holes, after all.

”I hope you have a safe and productive journey.” she added.

'Chrom' smiled brightly in response:

”It was our p_l_e_a_s_u_r_e and duty as Shepherds. May Naga bless your journey.”

Who the hell is Naga now? Why do you call yourself Shepherds? Do you really have so little respect for your 'subjects' to compare them to sheep?

Damn it, we were having a moment; you just ruined it with your chuuni bullshit!

”Goodbye!” Robin waved, happily starting her march. I followed her, giving my farewell with a curt nod.

It wasn't even ten steps after when I heard 'Lissa' starting to talk with her friends. About us.

”They're really going, uh? Shame. I would have liked their company during our walk.”

”Me too, Lissa. They seem like an enjoyable company. But you heard them: they had their fair share of problems. We did what we must. Emm will do the rest.”

Oi, we can still hear you! You should at least talk when we are out of sight, you know? What if we can hear you? Like right now.

”I agree with Lord Chrom, Lady Lissa. We did our duty as Shepherds, and that should be a reward in itself.

Besides, we will probably find them in the capital in a few days.”

Not if I can help it.

”You're right! But, you know, Mr. Hachiman was eyeing me in a strange way, don't you think?”

I was not! Lies! Slander! Lissa, I trusted you the most, how could you say those things behind my back?

I could hear a soft chuckle, and turning towards the origin, I found Robin looking at me with a small smile.

You too Robin? There is nothing true in that last statement! Don't believe that liar! What is with women and my stares?

I sighed, resigned to be the verbal punching bag of every woman I met in my life.

And with that sad reminder, Robin and I continued our walk through the woods.

It was only when we couldn't hear the clopping of 'Frederick's' horse that Robin decided to start to talk to me again, much to my disp_l_e_a_s_u_r_e.

”We were lucky, right Hachiman?” she said with a somber tone.

I simply nodded, not bothering using my voice for this kind of question.

Robin seemed to gather my answer, and she continued to talk.

”I'm very lucky to find such gentle people when… when I am in my condition.”

I frowned. Yeah. Her 'condition'. I almost forgot that.

She claimed to be affected by amnesia. And, after all that talk, I was calm enough to think clearly about the statement, now that Robin wasn't crying on me.

Normally, I would simply say that it was a load of crap.

Only that I didn't believe that. She was… emotional. Too emotional to be faked.

And even if it was faked, why lie? I didn't know her.

She could feed me of whatever lies she wanted and I would accept them nonetheless if she didn't trust me with the truth.

So I could reassume that she wasn't lying, or that she was a really good actress to play me a fool.

She could be with the same group before. They wore an outfit of a similar medieval-fantasy theme.

Possible, but again, why? Trying to fool me with talented actors would cost an immense amount of money, and I don't know anyone with that much money to burn, except the Yukinoshita sisters.

And they would have no reason to do that. Maybe Haruno, but not on this grand scale.

So the only explanation possible was that she was telling the truth, she actually had a severe case of amnesia, probably following the convention she had attended.

She got drugged, and they probably have taken… advantage of her, robbing her of all the money.

”Hachiman…” she called again, interrupting my brainstorming of the situation. I simply looked back at her.

”Will… will you really help me?” she quietly asked.

There. There were sentences like that that made me doubt she was lying. I could tell that she was scared. Confused. Alone.

If she was lying, it was working like a charm.

I nodded again.

”Have you checked inside your coat? You could have some sort of hint about your identity.”

Robin smiled; a relieved, bright smile that made me avert to look at her.

She quickly answered, while digging in her coat for something.

”I already checked before we met Chrom and the others. I… don't have anything that told me where I came from, but I found a steel sword, a Thunder tome, a bottle of ink, a feather and, most importantly a notebook.”

I grunted, signaling my attention. She probably comes from the same convention of the previous group. She is at least a dedicated cosplayer as them if the presence of ink is an indicator.

Judging from the lack of recognition, they probably never met at the convention, which was a shame, but not unexpected.

Those things are generally packed with people.

But it's strange that she didn't have an ID, they generally checked them for the entrance.

Maybe the thief stole it too.

”What's in the notebook?” I asked.

The albino readily shoved her only valuable possession to me, while starting to explain the content.

Oi oi Robin, don't give your only hint to your previous life to an unknown like me, you foolish girl!

Unless all of this is faking and you are trying to fool me. In that case, screw you skank!

Opening the notebook, I started to read its content. It was, for the most part, military content of various genres: list and description of units, with rather detailed indications of strengths and weakness of each soldier. There was some name of particularly 'strong' or important units, following from their general personality, likes and dislikes.

Then there was the big part: pages upon pages of formation and tactics of all genre and flavor. From classic historical tactics, from decent ones to half-assed one until there were really stupid ones that should have really no right to work in real life if not for something stupid like plot armour.

”As you can see…” Robin was saying, her tone falling in a tone strangely serious and professional:

”…you are reading various schemes and hypothetical battle plans. Mixing with that there are some names of various exceptional soldiers and their description. It's a bit messy, but I recognize two factions in the notebook: Ylissian and Plegian, but I couldn't tell which part I sided with..”

I half-listened to the girl, while I was skimming through the notebook. It was perplexing: the notebook wasn't printed, so it was logical and safe to assume that it was written by someone, probably her.

”So I assume that I was some kind of teacher, counselor or tactician.” She concluded.

And I could believe in that conclusion… if it wasn't for some details: excluding the names, that were clearly fantasy-themed, in the notebook were present some 'strange' units, like mages, pegasus and wyvern riders, the likes.

Clearly, it was for the fantasy setting she was impersonating. Assuming she was a cosplayer, this was the ultimate proof of her dedication to the cause.

But even a very obsessed cosplayer wouldn't have this much with her. Not this well written, not this well fabricated. Otaku or not, people had lives outside of their obsession, and she didn't look like a shut-in.

Something was strange with this girl.

”Doubtful.” I distractedly disagree with her hypothesis.

She looked at me, surprised but willing to listen to my opinion.

”Assuming that what is written in this notebook is true and not some sort of fantasy, the number you work with is too high. If it is, in this book you're working with the main army of a small nation.”

She nodded with a look of extreme focus, and I took this as a sign to continue to explain my idea.

”Looking at you, you can't be older than twenty, stretching the number. Would you put a teenager at the head of the main army of the nation, when you have more competent and experienced general?”

And that is, if we assume that the factions are real. Which they aren't. I was no master in geography, but a name like Ylisse and Plegia are clearly names that a nation of the real world wouldn't use.

This notebook was purely for cosplay propose… so useless.

”…oh. So this is…”

”Your study book. If we take this as proof, I would think that you were some sort of student or apprentice.” I concluded.

Robin started slowly to nod, and, once convinced, she nodded more vigorously.

Her abrupt movements made her twintails bounce, and I couldn't help but follow the imaginary line that they traced.

It was kind of hypnotizing, just like the bouncing Yuigahama's yuigaham…

No! Stop that train of thought! Think of something else! Something innocent and pure!

Yes, Totsuka! Obviously, Totsuka's smiles were the only thing that could help eradicate impure thoughts.

Looking back at Robin, I found her bestowing a sunny, grateful smile upon me.

”Yes, that makes sense! You're right Hachiman! Thank you!”

The praise felt hollow. It actually hurt me; made me feel ill. It was displaced gratitude.

I was just throwing a hypothesis based on a fictional notebook. So that wasn't her past, but a fictional and carefully created fantasy.

If she really lost her memory, as I'm inclined to believe, she deserves the truth.

And truth I will give.

”That is, if this notebook said the truth.”

Obviously, her smile dropped faster than Zaimokuza's a_s_s hit by the unforgiving and harsh criticism of a certain Ice Queen.

”W-what do you mean?” she asked after second of silence, fear clearly showing in her voice.

Grunting, I divert the gaze. If this was acting… kudos for her.

I turned again to stare at her. No, she needs the truth.

”I… I never met a mage or a pegasus, Robin. All I heard about them are legends. Fictional stories” I explained, cutting my explanation to the point.

Robin's eyes widened: ”But what about Lissa? She is clearly a cleric!... Right?”

I shook my head, and the devastated expression that she gave me made me internally cringe. Externally, I forced myself to continue:

”We don't know. She looked like one, I admit, but she never used her staff.”

Robin frantically took a step towards me. I stood firm. She needed to hear this.

”But what about me? I-I am a mage! I know! I can sort of remember how to do it!”

I grimaced. She was confused. I closed my eyes and took a deep breath: ”Robin, magic doesn't exist.” I said in a murmur, slow and concise.

She trembles: ”NO!” she screamed.

She frantically searched something in her coat, and quickly took out a worn old book: ”J-just look at me! I-I'll cast a Thunder spell right now and…”

This was painful to watch. I just can't…

”It doesn't matter if you can do it or not, Robin.” I interrupted her if a bit aggressively.

Her mouth clenched. I could practically hear a [click].

I continued: ”What does matter is that we have names inside the book. Names that we can contact once we are in the city.”

Even if some of the names were obviously fake, some of them were probably bound to be real. In every group, there is a noob that didn't bother to create a character and play as himself.

Obviously, Robin was hesitant. After all, I just shut her hopes down, and pretty hard, if I say so myself.

But in the end, I was the only person that know of her situation and was willing to help her, so when she nodded her demure acceptance, it wasn't a surprise to me.