Chapter 95 - My CO Stash #95 - Is It Wrong To Want To Conquer The World During My Isekai Adventure? by Codename-ShadowFox (NarutoXWarcraft) (2/2)

”Right.” Menma nodded once more. ”Ok, last question, are you any good with portals?”

”Portals? Hmm... well us imps do use them for scouting worlds but we usually have coordinates to work from. I'm not really great at just making random portals but I can look up some info for you if you like? Some of the other demons are bound to know something, if not I could always check Argus.” The imp shrugged, letting his new master decide the best course of action.

”Argus?” Menma asked, unfamiliar with the name.

”The Legion home world.” The imp stated casually.

”Right.” The Legion. A literal legion of demons, hell-bent on setting worlds on fire. He almost forgot about that. ”I think that'll be all for now Kar'Zekul. See if you can find any information of making portals, specifically small personal ones to hopefully nearby habitable worlds.”

The imp gave a small salute ”You got it Boss!” Before letting himself fade back in the Nether.

”Well that was strange but I guess that me being in the center of the Twisting Nether allowed me to call up one of the stronger imp races.” Menma was almost tempted into calling for a Voidwalker and seeing what popped out but decided against it. There was time for that later.

AN - The story begins in the year 12 ADP (after dark portal) two years after the end of the Second War and pretty much goes AU right off the bat due to Menma's sudden interference. The dates for certain events aren't specifically stated so I will play with the timeline a bit to suit my needs but for the most part I will be following the Warcraft timeline of events meaning that the story will start at 12 ADP and end roughly around 27~28 ADP.

Pairing wise Menma will have many partners but only three primary consorts that I've already decided on, the first being fairly obvious given the next few chapters. I plan on updating every second Monday with varying chapter lengths. Before I used to try and force myself to write about 3k words before putting something out but I've decided that if a chapter feels done and ends well I'll put it out regardless if it's 2k or 10k words.

Chapter 2

12 ADP (After Dark Portal)

”Ah! Shit! F_u_c_k! Ass! Mother. F_u_c_k_i_n_g. Son. Of. A-” Menma cursed as he rolled down a hill occasionally hitting a few trees on the way down before his back slammed into a large boulder that finally stopped his rapid descent and violent cursing. ”...Bitch.”

He let out a sigh of annoyance more than pain before pulling himself out of the dip his back made into the stone. A casual look around told him he definitely wasn't anywhere recognizable. ”Shit.”

Looking up at the sky he was even further annoyed to see his entry-point had vanished. ”Double shit.” He took another look around. It seemed to be a heavily wooded area but his keen hearing was able to pick up the bustle of a city not too far away. ”Some outlying woods then.”

He rubbed his back, face scrunching up as his mood soured even more. ”I swear to Kami, Menma, how the f_u_c_k do you get yourself into these messes? First some c_o_c_k-gobbler in a stupid mask tries to play you and then some freaky orange wearing f_u_c_k sharing your face shows up outta nowhere with a somehow even more annoying version of Sakura and then that previously mentioned c_o_c_k-gobbler sent me to the f_u_c_k_i_n_g Twisting Nether of all places for shit knows how long until I finally escape only to end up tumbling down a hill like an asshole!”

Menma grumbled as he dusted himself off ”And worst of all, I didn't even get to have angry break-up s_e_x with Hinata before I got sent away! Ain't that a bitch?” He lamented to himself, feeling slightly better after venting out his frustrations to the lonely woods.

The Uzumaki figured he might as well set off to find that nearby city and get his bearing before looking for a way back to the Elemental Nations. Hopefully it was a civilian city and it wouldn't be crawling with shinobi looking for wanted murderers.

Because if it was then he might just have to drop a giant Rasenringu on some sorry sons of bitches for the misfortune of being in his line of sight while he was pissed off. Thousands, maybe even tens of thousands would die if that were the case. ”I dare you fate, f_u_c_k_i_n_g try me, the moment I see a headband I'm nuking the place.”

As he crested over a hill Menma could make out the tip of some fancy spire in the distance, it served as a suitable landmark and he quickly made for it after leaping into the trees.

He allowed his mind to wander as he traveled through the trees by pure instinct alone, his thoughts returned to just a few hours past when his imp Kar'Zekul returned from his task...

~ Between 6 hours and 97 years earlier ~

”I'm hungry...” Menma was once more mindlessly floating in the eternal emptiness of space with his Cosmic Cloak ironically acting as a light source against the darkness. He briefly considered attempting to summon that Voidwalker again but was distracted by the sudden tear in reality.

Kar'Zekul leap through his personal portal holding a bundle of items in a sack. He smiled a fang filled grin at his master and presented his bounty ”I got whatcha' wanted!”

Menma raised an eyebrow ”That was quick, you weren't even gone longer than a few minutes.”

”It's actually been like five months, bro.” Kar'Zekul corrected ”It took some time and a bit of sneaking to get some of this stuff.”

”Huh,” Menma considered adding something to that but decided against it. The Nether was doing that time-f_u_c_kery thing again and it seemed that Kar'Zekul also understood that well.

He decided to drop it and instead reached for the sack. There were a few books inside, three scrolls and a few engraved rocks that looked like demonic runes. ”Not bad.”

Then a thought occurred to him ”How are you not dead right now? I mean we are in the vacuum of space with zero oxygen.” He was only alive thanks to his Cosmic Sage cloak covering him completely.

Kar'Zekul blinked in confusion ”Because I'm a demon? We're kind of made from the Nether, wouldn't make sense if we couldn't survive in it right?”

Menma nodded, that did indeed make sense after all. ”How are you talking though, there's no air?”

”Magic.” Kar'Zekul answered glibly.

”Right, of course.” Again, that also made sense in a weird sort of way. Even if it did take him some time before he accepted that magic was real and that was only after he started firing shadow bolts. ”So what should I read first?”

”OH! That one.” Kar'Zekul pointed at a black tome with glowing green letters on the front.

”Personal Portals for Pu'raka... Pu'raka? What's that?” Menma asked.

”Demon slang, it basically translates into 'dumb-f_u_c_ks'.” Kar'Zekul informed him. ”It's a joke that this book could even teach idiots how to conjure portals.” The imp added helpfully.

Menma just glared at it ”Yeah, I got that, thanks.”

Then he thought about what he just learned. ”So does Pu mean f_u_c_k or Raka?” Menma was always happy to learn new ways to curse, in this case it might even be literal if he could turn it into a spell chant.

”Raka.” Kar'Zekul answered gleefully. ”Never mind that for now though bro, get to reading! I know just the world we can portal to, got the coordinates and everything.”

”Is that right?” Menma responded idly as he cracked the book open. He could somewhat make out the demonic writing with only a few phrases and words needing further translation. Kar'Zekul seemed more than content to just float about and act as his translator as he read through the book.

It didn't take very long, or at least didn't feel very long until he finished the book, then again it could have been ten-thousand years since he started and he would be none the wiser. ”It was a little too dry for the my tastes but at least it did explain in-depth how to create personal portals for yourself and others well enough for me to understand.”

”So, we ready to head out now then?” The imp asked excitedly.

Menma thought about it before shaking his head ”No, I'd like to complete my contracts first. Seeing as we're essentially in the demon realm I want to see if I can't summon up stronger version of normal warlock summons, if those are even a thing?”

Kar'Zekul nodded his head, his long ears flapping about as he did so. ”Yeah, usually they stick to a few races. Imps; voidwalkers, succubi, and felhunters. The stronger and more experienced warlocks can also summon felguards, doomguards and infernals as well!”

”Interesting. Might as well go with the usual four then.” Menma proclaimed as he floated his way back towards the still floating Earth Wall that had his summoning rune engraved in. ”If I recall correctly adjusting this rune slightly and adding this one will... yep that looks about right.”

He spoke to himself in concentration as he finished cutting in the new modifications to the rune scheme and powering it. ”Alright KZ, you ready?”

”KZ?” The imp asked in confusion.

”Don't like it?”

KZ thought about it for a second before shrugging ”I'm cool with it bro.”

”Alright, I'm starting the ritual then!” Once more the tainted energy of the twisting nether encased his hands in the violet color, bright and luminous as he muttered guttural words in demonic while holding one of the soul shards KZ had brought him as a sacrifice.

After a few moments he felt something come through. ”I am the cleanser... of the void...”

KZ's already normally wide eyes expanded even further in disbelief while paling rapidly ”Y-Y-Y-You- You summoned one of THEM!?” Menma could understand the imp's fear as he stared up at the truly f_u_c_k_i_n_g massive voidwalker covered in armored plating.

The large shadow demon looked down at the two beings before him, towering almost three times more than the taller one. It inspected the human, it believed they were called, and sensed the power and great darkness within it. A literal mass of shadows that he had only ever sensed around his fellow lords. ”What... is your name... summoner?”

Menma looked up at the demon wearily. Needless to say he was expecting his voidwalker to be somewhat... smaller. ”Uzumaki Menma.” Still he managed to answer confidently.

The Voidlord pondered on the name before bowing it's massive body slightly ”You may call me Sha... do not summon me for trifling matters.” Sha said slowly before thrusting his hand out towards Menma who made to dodge only for his arm to yank up suddenly with a shadowy tendril shooting out of it.

The Voidlord met it with his own and suddenly Menma could feel a connection form in his mind. Your enemies will not escape my fury... He heard the disembodied voice of Sha echo in his mind before the titanic voidwalker faded from view.

Menma was still tense a few moments after before the connection with Sha faded into the back of his mind. With a sigh he left his shoulders slump from their readied position ”Well, that was a thing.”

”DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA WHO YOU JUST SUMMONED!?” The imp cried hysterically.

”Sha from the sounds of it.” Menma answered with a shrug before glaring at the imp ”Oh, and don't f_u_c_k_i_n_g yell at me.”

”That big bastard's name isn't Sha, it's Shabbith!” The imp corrected frantically.

”Okay? Is that supposed to mean something to me?” Menma replied shortly.

”Shabbith is one of the original nine Voidlords, more commonly known as Shabbith the Disintegrator... because he Disintegrates!”

Well that was an interesting title. ”Disintegrates what?”

”Everything!” The imp nearly shouted once more.

”Alright, we'll just keep Sha in reserves then.” Menma honestly didn't think it was that big of a deal, I mean sure Sha was f_u_c_k_i_n_g massive but Kurama was like three times bigger than even him especially now that he was complete. ”I think I'll wait on summoning the others as well, Kami knows what the f_u_c_k else I'll summon instead of a normal demon if I try that again.”

”Right,” KZ nodded shakily before taking a calming breath. ”Sorry bro, kinda lost my cool there.”

”Whatever.” Menma groused before picking up one of the scrolls. ”Let's just get back to the main mission, Operation: Get me the hell out of the Void.”

”Hell Yeah!”

So they sat down and read quietly with Menma only asking KZ for clarification on a few words he still didn't know. ”Hey so KZ, what's this world you want to take us to? Tell me about it.”

”OH it's great! Never been myself, but from what I hear it's one of the most magically rich planets in the entire universe! The Legion tried to invade it a couple thousand years ago but were pushed back but if it's just us sneaking in under the radar? Easy. Damn I'm getting hungry just thinking about it!” Kar'Zekul mumbled at the end, globs of neon green drool spilling from its jaws.

Menma nodded slightly as he continued reading the scroll ”You demons feed off of magic right?”

”Not just feed off of it, we become more powerful the more we eat! Why do you think demons bind themselves to warlocks? So we can feast while on their world. Most demons kick up a fuss about being summoned but usually go along with it anyway for a tasty meal every once in a while.” KZ explained. ”Then there's the lucky bastards who become a warlock's favorite and essentially stay permanently summoned to their side... it's usually those s_l_u_ts or the felguards though.”

Menma looked up from his last scroll with a raised eyebrow ”S_l_u_ts?”

”Succubi.” KZ spat out, ”They whore themselves out to their warlock in exchange for staying on their world.”

”Huh.” Menma shrugged ”Guess I'll have to break mine in when I get her.”

”Seriously bro? I thought we were cool and you wanna ditch me for some skank?” KZ complained ”What ever happened to bros before hoes?”

”Apparently demon p_u_s_s_y.” Menma said with a chuckle.

”Nah bro, you don't want none of that, those bitches get around. Most of them have more diseases than a plague-world.”

”What in the fresh hell is a plague-world?”

”The plague-worlds were used to test the Plague, with a capital P, in these worlds the Scourge Undead fully populate the planet and let me tell you the smell of a million walking corpses is vomit inducing.”

”Ugh.” Menma suddenly shivered in revulsion. ”F_u_c_k that.”

”Seriously.” KZ nodded emphatically.

”Well I finished the last scroll that went in-depth into proper coordinate specifications, good call on that one by the way. I'd rather not end up underground or in the middle of an ocean.” Menma said before sitting up, taking a glance down at his useful if somewhat annoying companion. ”Alright how do we start?”

”Well first get a soul shard out.” KZ suggested ”Then kinda... imagine... where you want to go.”

”But I don't know where I'm supposed to be going.” Menma deadpanned.

”Yeah, magic is weird like that, just think 'I want to go to Azeroth' concentrate on making a hole that ends up there and click your heels three times. Easy right?” KZ explained in his own odd way.

Menma huffed at the particularly unhelpful answer. ”Fine. Here goes nothing.” He gripped the soul stone tightly as he imagined a world called Azeroth in his mind and much to his surprise after a few minutes of concentrating he felt a slight pull.

It was almost like fishing. Essentially his magic or 'bait' resonated with that of the world's and it took a bite but now he had to drag that line back to him and tear open the hole in reality that would allow him access to Azeroth.

Menma started sweating as the forces of the Nether fought against him, the shadows didn't want him to go and were actively working against him. ”Dammit!”

With a roar Menma flooded his body with Kurama's chakra and used it as extra leverage to reel the line in. Finally after nearly giving his imp a heart-attack from the explosive demonic aura that suddenly surrounded him a greenish portal with a solid black center coalesced before him but was failing rapidly.

”Quick, get in!” KZ yelled before pushing Menma into the portal ”Summon me on the other-”

The imp's words were cut short as the portal suddenly collapsed. Kar'Zekul grimaced ”-Side. I really hope my first warlock didn't die trying to reverse-summon himself. The other imps would never let me live it down...”

~ Present Time ~

As Menma jumped through the trees down the hill he suddenly remembered something and stopped on the next branch. ”Wait, why the hell am I running?” This time when Menma kicked off the branch he didn't come back down and instead soared through the sky.

”I was floating for so long I actually forgot I could fly since it felt like I was always flying.” Shaking his head in annoyance Menma sped up as he could see the city at he bottom of the hill growing larger.

”Well look at these fancy schmucks.” Fancy was really the best way he could describe it. It looked like a crap ton of giant purple candles sticking out of the ground with little blue lights everywhere. From what he could see of in the distance there also seemed to be houses outside of the city, likely for the civilian population that tended the farms he could see nearby.

Seeing a lake in front of him he decided to drop by and freshen up for a bit before entering the city. Without a care he dive bombed right for the lake, with a tap of his coat it was sealed into his arm-guards followed by his pants, shoes and u_n_d_e_r_w_e_a_r.

Now stark n_a_k_e_d he let out a whoop of excitement and let himself plunge into the crystal clear water. The water was cold in what he could only assume was the early morning and it was certainly bracing but Menma enjoyed it nonetheless.

Opening his eyes underwater he was able to spot a school of fish not too far and figured he could go for some grilled fish after not having eaten for... well for however long he was in the Nether. Turning around he made towards the shore only to stop as a pair of surprised bright blue eyes similar to his stared back at him in shock.

Menma raised an eyebrow in surprise before looking down and yep, she was just as he n_a_k_e_d as he was. Not bad. Menma thought, she wasn't as busty as Hinata but then again there weren't many fully grown women with bodies like Hinata's and especially not teenagers.

The girl saw where he was looking and covered herself up in indignation before swimming up to the surface. Menma rolled his eyes, seriously what's a little skin? Some people. Still he figured he should at least say something before she likely starts freaking out.

Menma surfaced with a gasp of air, quickly swiping the water from his face. Just as he was about to say something the girl started yelling. ”Ohw era uoy!?”

Menma blinked in confusion before scowling. ”What did you just call me?”

Then it was the girl's turn to blink in confusion before also turning angry ”Tahw era ouy gniod ereh? Rewsna em!”

”Hey f_u_c_k you, I'll have you know that my mother is... a decent person I suppose!” Naturally he had no idea what this chick was saying but it'd been so long since he saw another human that he was willing to just keep shouting nonsense at this girl for a while until she figured out that he had no idea what the hell she was saying. ”And for your information, no, my d_i_c_k is usually a good bit larger it's just really f_u_c_k_i_n_g cold this morning!”

A frustrated look came upon the girl's face as they now just floated in the water in silence, one of her arms still covering her milky white b_r_e_a_s_ts as her golden hair cascaded around her soft face. Well looks like she's past the shouting phase at least, maybe I should introduce myself now.

Making a show of clearing his throat he gestured to himself. ”I'm Menma.” He said before repeating his name once more in an unnecessarily assholish tone ”Mennnmaaaaaaa.”

The girl's eye twitched in annoyance but it seemed she got the idea. With a sigh she gestured to herself with her free hand. ”Jaina.” Before repeating it in a condescending voice. ”Jaiiiinaaaaaa.”