Chapter 72 - My SI Stash #72 - My Trans-Dimensional, Overpowered Protagonist, Harem Comedy is Wrong, as Expected. by Sage_Of_Eyes (Oregairu/Danmachi) (2/2)

A lie about Cranel dropping his knife and my wish to return it got me Cranel's home address in a single conversation.

Isn't that too easy of a way to get someone's address, Tulle-san? Do you really trust me so much since you saw your Cranel-kun so happy with the sacks of money he received because of my help? I am truly worried for the safety of people's private information!

Imagine what someone could do with such knowledge! For example, someone could go to their home and extract their secrets from their god! You know gods are mostly human here, right, Tulle-san? It's very dangerous to do something like that!

Oh well, I'll be sure to tell her someday.

Not.

Heh.

Teaching Cranel-san is proving to be a goldmine. My plot-relevance is going up by the minute just asking questions about him. I bet, in an anime series, I'm the shifty man in the shadows who surprisingly turns out to be looking out for the adventurer.

Perhaps Cranel and I have our fates bound together?

Ugh, sounds like something Ebina would write. Mind purge. Focus on something else. Totsuka? Yes! Totsuka's purity and smile cleanses away the rotten thoughts that defile me!

Wait. Isn't there something wrong with that line of thought?

Anyway, I managed to find out where Cranel lived after lying to Tulle-san about needing to get him his weapon back. Since I appeased her by showing her that I made her chosen adventurer happy, she was more than happy to trust me with vital information.

As I said earlier, I'm a tad worried that all it takes is a single day's worth of work to get such important information from a Guild Member.

…

The 'Abandoned Church' was almost directly west of Babel, and just a few blocks east of the Miach Familia Pharmacy. Though I do not love Orario enough to memorize any of its streets, as I did in my hometown, Chiba, I'm good at keeping landmarks. Tulle-san's directions were terrible, but with the building's description in mind, I found it relatively quickly.

”You there! Shady, creepy guy! Who are you!” Immediately, I was beset by a woman clearly straight out of an eroge! Twintails, Loli-shaped, and with womanly assets that would send Yukinoshita falling into depression! Oi, oi, oi! Did I misjudge the type of literature this is? Was this one of those Light Novels that sought to pander to NEETs who had body-pillows? Zaimokuza, I swear if you wrote this swill I'll kill you the moment I return! ”You better answer quickly, or I'm going to call for help! The City Guard might be useless, but I know the Familia close by very well!”

”…” I considered the situation. Hanging around in front of destroyed church? Yes. Me, clad entirely in black and with my face covered in the middle of the night? Indeed. Scantily dressed fetish fuel before me? A third, and final, positive. I needed to answer this quickly, before I'm labeled as some sort of insane pervert with very deviant tastes towards busty middle-schoolers. The shame that will arise from the depths of my Japanese ancestry will manifest as a yellow-eyed version of myself and seek to kill me! ”Do you happen to know Bell Cranel-san?”

”Bell-kun!?” The twintailed, walking fetish loli's eyes latched onto me quicker than any monster I'd ever encountered. ”Are you that Ainz Whattelsten he never stops talking about!?

”No.” Oh no, I've encountered Cranel-san's First Girl! She's going berserk! After having known that white-haired, pretty boy for just a day, I should've known that he probably told this girl all about his crush. The density of my student is worse than the center of the sun! This isn't supposed to be my Death Cut Scene, Cranel, get over here and receive your just punishment! ”My name is Hikigaya.”

”Hmmm? Sure it is.” The loli placed her hands on her h_i_p_s and… what the hell is that string supposed to be doing? Is that a boob string? I did not know whether to applaud Zaimokuza for creating a new fetish or send him off towards Yukinoshita for a slow, painful death. With narrowed eyes and pouting lips, she leaned forward and made it very difficult to keep my eyes on her eyes. ”So, Hikigaya… what are you doing here? Traveling? Just looking around? Ferrying secret, romantic love letters between my Bell-kun and Ainz Whattelsan!?”

”…I'm looking for Cranel-san to give him a knife I found.” Judging from this odd girl's dress, her obvious attraction to Cranel, and the blatant suspicion and jealousy… well, she's set to be the girl everyone roots for but will forever go unnoticed by the dense protagonist. Cranel-san, perhaps you can share some of that luck along to some of us regular men? Producing the knife from my back pouch, I presented a knife of similar quality as my white-haired students. It's completely terrible, I would never use it myself. Shitty knife, I shall sacrifice you to save my own skin. You will be never remembered. ”We are currently venturing in the Dungeon together. He will fight better with a second knife, so I purchased one for him. I will teach him how to use it, tomorrow.”

For a moment there was only silence. My words, linking together with some earlier facts. C'mon, Cranel-san, if you're ditzy enough to tell this girl about your crush you should've told her about me as well!”

”Eh? You're Bell-kun's sensei!? The one who made it so that he made so much money today!?” The suspicion and, frankly terrifying, intensity dissolved in an instant. It was replaced by an immense smile and… happy movements. Bouncy, bouncy. Heh. Heh. Dammit, focus on something else, my stupid skill! They may move quickly and are infinitely dangerous, but they're not enemies you need to keep track of at all times! ”Oh goodness! I'm so happy to meet you!” The girl began to sniffle! ”My Bell-kun finally has a reliable, male friend that won't take him away from me! My only Familia member now has a friend I fully approve of!”

Of course, she's a god.

Of course.

…

”I'm sorry that we can't offer much, but our finances… aren't good.” Hestia scratched her cheek as she laid out some croquettes and salt before the two of us. I focused on monster tactics and movements to distract my mind from her… form. Her unofficial title was the 'Oppai Loli Goddess' and she certainly lived up to it. ”Bell-kun is already asleep, he was really tired after today, but his stats grew… very well, so please continue to teach him, Hikigaya-sensei!”

”It's no problem, Hestia-sama. Thank you for the food.”. Unfortunately microwaves did not exist, so they were very cold. Still, whether hot or cold, I was receiving food for free. Free food is always delicious. While I considered methods on how to verify Cranel's status as the Protagonist, I noticed that the goddess was staring at me. ”Is something wrong, Hestia-sama?”

”Bell-kun told me that you're very… gruff and coarse, even when you mean well, Hikigaya-sensei. From Bell-sun's words, I imagined you to be less… cultured.” Oi, don't give me a nice smile like that! Especially, after telling me you thought I'd be some musclebound buffoon with a heart of gold! I'm as wiry as they come and my heart is made of lead! It seems I'm going to have to watch myself better around Cranel-san, he's more perceptive than I thought. ”Bell-kun was very happy when he returned home, and he really appreciates all your help, Hikigaya-sensei.”

”I'm not completely altruistic, I'm doing this to pay for a new Salamander cloak.” My real reasons behind this are far less… palatable. In reality I wanted to get close to Cranel to make sure that I wouldn't simply be written off. This world, undoubtedly, is a Light Novel aimed at people who wanted their chosen avatars to gain immense power, be the object of d_e_s_i_r_e, and be greatly respected. Standing by that person's side is in my best interest. ”Cranel-san speaks too highly of me, truly.”

”That's what I would believe, if I only heard Bell-kun's words. But, I made sure to ask around about my Bell-kun's newest friend.” Hestia's smile brightened, and I felt myself stiffen up. Forcing myself to relax, I took some measured bites of the food I had been freely given. Oddly enough, they didn't taste good as I expected them to. ”Miach had nothing but praise about you! His Familia told me that you always go out of your way to help new adventurers, even though you can go on to the next levels, and you make sure that they know how the dungeon works!”

”For a price.” I tacked on, feeling oddly embarrassed by the praise. I usually took praise with a grain of salt. Compliments are free to give. They're just words. ”And, I never follow them into the Middle Floors.”

”Perhaps, but you save them if they're in danger. You've saved many lives, Hikigaya-sensei.” Hestia suddenly strode before me, and the urge to eat the food diminished as she bowed. A god bowed to me. Nearly, I forgot to breathe. ”Hikigaya-sensei, please keep my child safe. Please, continue to take as much money as you need from my child's spoils, even after his debt has been repaid.” Raising her head and standing once more. I was entirely caught unprepared by Hestia's calm, collected demeanor. For the first time since we'd met, I had no doubt the woman before me was an immortal god. ”You can protect him from anything I can imagine. From his fellow mortals and monsters alike, if you're at his side, he'll grow to be a fine adventurer.”

My refusal left my lips the moment she stopped speaking.

...

A/N: First arc's almost done. More talking next chapter. Finally get to see how Hachiman manages to avoid Hestia's MAXIMUM Charisma.

Seriously, Hestia knows how to diplomance with the best of them.

Chapter 4

Consider a situation.

A man strives to find a way back home, however he is too weak to do it by himself. So, he must band together with others. Luckily, his goals coincide with many, many others. Easily, he finds people to accompany him.

Yet, even though he's weak, they're weaker.

However, that can be changed, so he chose to change them.

But, only enough to cover for his own inadequacies.

Always at their side, he guided them through the dungeon. Foolishly, he took the brunt of the work, as he always did.

With him always at their side, they were filled with false courage. A facsimile of courage. His companions never learned how dangerous the places they went into were.

And, one day, when he could not be at their side, they died.

Moron.

Dunce.

Imbecile.

That idiot of a man never considered a simple fact.

If you're handed everything in life, there's no way you can value anything.

So, without true fear, they didn't have real courage. Lacking absolute challenges, they never gained proper power.

In this world there is no 'minimum' requirement when it comes to power. There is only 'more than enough' and 'not enough.'

You live or die, depending on what you experienced, what skills you've honed, and the tools you have at your back.

In this unforgivable world, your life is in your hands, but lacking power means death.

Might is everything.

And so, Hestia's plea fell upon my ears and reminded me of that little, quaint fable.

If I protected him, made him to 'only' be a 'fine adventurer' then that would be the same as killing him with my own hands.

Not even a god's most earnest plea can change my mind about that.

…

”I refuse.” Curtly, I answered Hestia. I placed the offered food aside and stood up. My mouth tasted of ash and copper. I walked past the bowing god. Cranel was still on my mind. My priorities were still in order. However, talking to his god isn't the way to go about it. I can wait. I've waited two years. One day, he'll have other Familia members for me to speak to. ”I will not do it.”

”Please! You're strong! Capable! You care very much about others, I know, and I'm asking you to leave them behind!” A hand, small and frail, caught onto my sleeve. Easily, I could've taken my hand away. When gods were not in their Divine Realm, they are but simple humans. Between myself and Hestia, the winner was clear. ”This request is beyond selfish, but please consider protecting my only child. Bell-kun is my only family! He's all I have.”

”Hestia-sama…” I didn't turn to look at Hestia. Her voice told me enough. The tremble in her tenor. Her lack of breath. If I met her gaze, my will would crumble, since I hated to see anyone weep. I couldn't muster the strength to continue walking forward further than her reach. I'd have to act against her to do that. I did not act against decent people. ”…please let go of my sleeve.”

”I will not. Not until you agree.” Unyielding will and determination, despite the fact she was begging for my aid. ”Hikigaya, you're my child's best hope of surviving.” She tugged upon my sleeve, probably intending to pull me back. I stayed completely still. ”Would you not wish the same if you had a child of your own? To have someone powerful looking after them, protecting them when you cannot?”

”You're asking for too much. Just like many other gods.” How impossibly selfish this god is. Hestia, who believes that I help newcomers, is ever unwavering in her request. The fact that I save others from death routinely is one of the labels she placed upon me. The goddess told me herself, moments ago, that she completely believed I was a good person hiding behind pretenses. Yet, she wants me to devote all that time to a single boy. ”I've heard many pleas like that. Yours is nothing special. No. Yours is the absolute worst, since you know of what I do.”

”For my Bell-kun, for my child, I would risk everything.” If I'd heard such a declaration from anyone else, I'd have laughed and left. However, Hestia's words gave me pause. There was no sign of sorrow or despair in her tone. I glanced upon her; there were no traces of tears. In her eyes was only undeniable will. For a moment, I wondered if this god behind me was truly sealed away. ”After all my years alone, without anyone or anything, when I had nothing to offer, Bell-kun still chose to become my Familia. I will do anything to see him safe.”

”…” I said nothing, I only watched the endless confidence and life in her eyes. Such fastidiousness, with no room for compromise. For what the goddess believed in and wanted, she was willing to be hated and to go to any lengths. There was only one person who I'd known with such resolve before. Someone who I hoped already went on with her undoubtedly extraordinary life. ”Anything? You'll do anything for me to protect him?”

”Yes.” No hesitation, consideration, or anything that would suggest a single weakness. Ha, and I thought that I had an ego. The moment I saw her face again, I knew that I'd already lost. As she spoke, pleaded, and begged… I turned against myself. I compromised. I planned around my own rules. If I could do that to others, then I most certainly can do it for myself. ”I will.”

”Then, I want three things.” Now, at least, I won't have to wait until they managed to get another Familia member. The wait would've been a great pain. Looking into her gaze, as expected I found Hestia already ready to agree. ”But, before you hear them, I want you to know that I won't be protecting him.” Confusion flitted across her features, and an argument was already on her lips. I raised my hand to stop it. ”I'll be teaching him, making sure he can fight. I'll stay at his side, teaching him, and learning more things to teach him.”

”That is… far from what I wanted.”

”Hestia-sama, adventurers who find no reason to fear the Dungeon die.” Bluntly, I told my reason. I did not elaborate. This was what I wanted, anyway. I was modifying her own plan for my own sake. With this, I secured a spot by Cranel's side and three favors from a god. ”The best protection I can offer is to train him and stay at his side. I will ensure that he doesn't get killed through accidents or misfortune… everything else depends on him.” A stray thought entered my head, to make sure that Hestia agreed. ”Hestia-sama, do you have faith in Cranel-san?”

”I…” There, my underhanded words hit the correct mark. Though Hestia was definitely doing this out of Cranel's best interest, my question made a simple logical connection that the goddess probably did not want to acknowledge. In truth, by asking me to protect him, she implied that Cranel could not be trusted with his own life. That he needed a minder. Lips pursed and mind awhirl with my implication, she broke her gaze from mine. ”I… understand, Hikigaya-sensei. I will put more faith into my Bell-kun. Still, please, teach him as well as you possibly can.”

”Acknowledge the cost of my aid, and I shall do so.” I broke away, and she let me go without resistance. Meeting her eyes, I began to dictate terms that the goddess could not refuse. No. Would not refuse. Truly, this girl's… love for Cranel was immense. So, this is what a god is? I couldn't help but be both impressed and worried. They're far too easy to manipulate with the correct set of information. ”The first is a tenth of his spoils in crystals, for as long as I'm with him, no matter how many Valis he begins to haul in.”

The goddess nodded her assent, and I continued.

”The second is first claim to any items for mages we come across.” Worth hundreds of thousands of Valis at least, they are the rarest of any 'gear' that people came across in the Dungeon. Parties of adventurers fell into ruin fighting over a single one. ”My specialty lies in magic, they'll allow me to protect Cranel-san better.”

Without hesitation, she acceded to my claim.

”And for the last…” This one, I knew would be difficult. This last demand I had for this god was the reason I was here in the first place. ”I want to know what Bell Cranel's first skill is.”

Surprise and shock flitted across her features.

”He grows too quickly, and learns too fast. Cranel is talented and clever, but that does not explain his growth.” She broke her gaze from my own, and her eyes grew glassy with busy thought. ”Hestia-sama, I swear that I will not share such a fact with others.”

No response. The goddess was listening, but she was lost evaluating dangers. Hestia bit at her lip. As I suspected, Cranel had something that was dangerous. Something that would make him wanted by other Familia. People who could take Hestia's child from her.

”Hestia-sama…” Truth. This goddess can only be placated by sincerity, and she would see through my lies. I needed to give up the truth, but I couldn't say it. My truth was insane. Unbelievable. Telling the truth wasn't an option. A half-truth then. ”I need… someone who I can follow into the dungeon. Cranel's growth, the reason why I followed him here, tells me that he can be that person. Already, I believe he will become great, but the same goes for many others.” I hesitated. Was I making a mistake of admitting that I needed Cranel? ”But if my suspicions are correct, and if he has the type of skill I believe he does, then he will stand head and shoulders above anyone else in this generation.”

”…” My plea was met with silence, but the goddess slowly raised her head. The look of defeat upon her face made my stomach churn. Undoubtedly, I'd relentlessly torn at her with what she wanted for something she never wished to admit. A good person would've been placated by suspicion and the information I'd already gathered, but I needed to know. With a weak voice that made me grit my teeth, Hestia told me what I suspected, but couldn't go about without verifying. ”It's called Realis Phrase…”

…

Walking away from the abandoned church, I couldn't help but be both sick and overjoyed.

In one hand, I'd just forced the most decent person I'd met since coming in this world to spill secrets about her own Familia.

In the other, I could finally begin to work towards returning home.

Realis Phrase. Rapid growth as long as strong feelings last. No matter how you looked at it, that was a skill of a Protagonist. Cranel, striving after the impossible goal of reaching the Sword Princess's side, will become impossibly strong.

Strong enough to clear the dungeon. Mighty enough to get me home.

All I needed to do was make sure that Cranel was always challenged, and that Aiz Wallenstein forever remains out of his reach.

What I had said about what I was going to do to him is true.

I had no intention of keeping Cranel safe.

There's no way Cranel could become as strong as I needed him to be, if I merely taught him.

For me to return home, I needed to both teach him and have him meet his challenges head on.

That meant that despite everything Hestia gave up, she didn't gain anything that she begged and pleaded for.

During the moments where he needed me to be at his side, the moments that Hestia wanted me to be at his side, I will not be present.

I'm far from the person anyone wanted me to be.

Even myself.