Chapter 80 (1/2)

I don’t understand what he just said.

His words echoed in my head, yet I still didn’t understand.

“In two years time Michelie will enrol at the Royal Academy. Then four years after graduating from the Academy, I will send Michelie to a monastery. This has already been decided. If you get it, then you can leave.”

After only saying that I was told to leave.

With a snap somewhere in my head I lose it.

I tried to pull myself together, gasping for air.

But I couldn’t catch my breath, it felt like I was suffocating.

The rage forming in my body rushed out of my mouth. Later on I would come to know that I had verbally abused Father between gasping for air.

Honestly, I don’t remember what I said.

All I remember was that Father’s face didn’t even flinch as I threw my worse words at him.

“Have you calmed down yet Christina.”

“…tch!”

I manage to hold back my immediate response.

I forced my already half open mouth shut, biting off the words at the last minute.

Father surely knew that I would respond like this. That’s why he waited until I had nearly left for the Academy before he told me. He chose the short amount of time I had left with Michelie to tell me so that I couldn’t plan anything.

I exhale a little, before breathing in heavily. And then I slowly let it out.

I was calmer. I couldn’t solve this by being angry.

That’s it. I can’t resolve this by getting upset. I need to clarify the facts and then think of a way to solve this. That’s how I can proceed constructively from here. I ought to know that by now. I learnt from Mariwa that rather than being pulled around by my emotions, I needed to wield them myself.

To be conscious of my anger, to identify and manage the source of that anger. By doing that you can return to your usual calm.

Of course the anger is still there.

“Why. Michelie being sent to a monastery, why did this happen? Tell me why, Father.”

Suppressing the anger stirring in the pit of my stomach I asked Father.

One of the route of the original Christina is to be sent to a monastery as a political prisoner. In this country, the death sentence can be reduced to a life of harsh imprisonment.

There are many reasons why someone might be sent to a monastery, punishment is only one of them. It’s not that unusual for the children of nobles to enter monasteries, in order to stop a family’s inheritance been split up. Thus second and third sons, as well as spinster daughters will often be sent there, basically, it’s a support home for noble children who don’t work or marry.

To live in the monastery they vow a life of virtue, poverty, obedience, and to dedicate their lives to the monastery.

Abandoning family and possessions, they live according to the rules of the order.

If Father says she will be sent there, then it will be with a suitable donation to the order. Alternatively, she could be sent to a private monastery of the Noir family. With that in mind, Michelie won’t be treated like the original Christina was.

Becoming a nun is a respected life usually. It’s a life that will never suit me, but it’s not an unfortunate life. It’s a virtuous aspiration, and many people hope to enter a monastery.

However, I cannot forgive Father for arbitrarily closing off Michelie’s future.

“There’s nothing to talk about… as if you would understand with just that. This is because of Michelie’s birth..”

“Her birth? Then it must be because her mother was the little sister of the king.”

Father grimaced at my frank words.

“….So you knew.”

He said it bitterly, since this was information I wasn’t supposed to know, but I was defiant.

“So what if I knew?”

Even if Father thought I was suspicious, it didn’t matter. Though he glared at me, he didn’t seem flustered.

“Christina. We are not royalty.”